I saw an old friend today I haven’t seen in a very long time.  She’s been gone for so long, I wasn’t sure I would ever see her again, but I’ve been praying…

Today was my Mom’s 61st birthday.  She was so excited to turn 60 last year, and then things just went very very wrong:  she had several strokes and a heart attack, several stents put in, and then went into full kidney failure.  She recovered, but it hasn’t been the same.  Her smile disappeared.  Somewhere in the hospital walks the ghost of what my Mother had been, and the person that is left, I’m not sure who she is.  Her voice is my Mother’s, her face is my Mother’s, but that joy and laughter and SPIRIT that was my Mother is gone.  And I’ve been so very afraid that she was gone for good.

It’s hard for my to type this because it means admitting it.  Admitting she’s been gone and that’s not easy.  That’s my best friend.  Outside of my handsome husband, she’s my closest friend.   And I have missed her.

But today….TODAY….she came back!  I knew  yesterday she didn’t really want to come, but today….oh praise God Almighty….she came.   That smile.  That quick laugh.  That beautiful twinkle….oh she was THERE!   The conversations we had today!  That LAUGHTER!  And I was blessed beyond words to have my camera and I captured it.  It’s there for me to always see and remember.

I pray she stays.  I pray she doesn’t leave me again.  I pray her joy and laughter doesn’t leave.  I pray that this healing her body has done, improves and increases so that I see her more often.  Lord, I have missed her and I love her so much.  Please don’t let her go again….restore her for me, if that’s selfish, I’ll deal with it.  I just can’t lose her again….

I need her…

 

 

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