I’m sitting here just a little sunburned from the pool, reading my chapters and just wishing. The boys and Brooklyn are watching wrestling and hoping for glimpses of themselves on tv, and I sit here just thinking.
Have you just really hoped for something? Just REALLY wanted that penny you threw into the wishing well to come true? If only….if only….
I’d love to make a difference somewhere…like an orphanage overseas…China….Myanmar…Africa. To sit and rock babies. Share the knowledge I have from years of classes and experience to affect the lives of babies in a place that would make a DIFFERENCE. Could I DO that? Could I live with holding and rocking and watching them grow and change, but not be able to keep them? Oh just to keep one….to be able to bring one home and REALLY make a difference. Could I do it? And the pictures I could take of their FACES. I LOVE FACES! It would be so different, and to be able to capture that on camera….oh I want to go…
To not worry about money…I guess I’d have to be Angelina Jolie to do all the things I’d like to do…LOL But to be able to just GO and not worry about how I would pay for going and not have to worry about how I would pay the bills when I got back….I’d love that….
To know I made a difference somewhere…I have to say, I love that I am able to help HERE where I am. I am happy with that, and I’m somewhat satisfied. I love our Youth group right now. They are such an incredible group of young men and women and I am BLESSED to be a part of it. We have an INCREDIBLE Youth minister…an amazing Pastor…but those kids…gosh, they are wonderful. I hope and pray that somehow I’ve made a difference. I’ve done something RIGHT. Having someone tell me TO my face that God would never use ME and that God would not speak to ME, broke something in my spirit. And I let it affect my relationship with Christ. I withdrew and hid. I believed it. Deep down, I knew he was wrong, but I dwelled on that instead of letting Him heal my heart. Slowly, I crawled out of that hole, found my strength, and I am so much better for it. I am reading DAILY. Praying DAILY. And sadly for you, blogging what I study. LOL And the KNOWING that I am going to do something BIGGER just fills me with excitement. Mike and I talk about it every day. It’s just a knowing. Even if it’s just raising our own children to their full potential and helping Youth on the side, I’ll know I did something worthy of a “Well done”. But there’s an excitement there that is different than Mike or I have had before….there’s something….something MORE out there for us…..