Mexico?

Obviously, most readers of my rambling blog know that I have been desiring to do God’s will. And I feel led specifically towards missions….missions photography to be exact. Problem is: I’ve never BEEN on a mission trip. Like ever. I don’t even have a passport.

The Human side of me doesn’t like to be hot, dirty, and out of my comfort zone. But the God-led side of me is GUNG-HO excited at the IDEA of ever going!

In the past (before my Experiencing God class), I thought that doing anything FOR Christ, was better than sitting on my hiney doing NOTHING AT ALL. But now I’ve learned that just because it’s a GOOD thing to do, doesn’t mean it’s a GOD thing for to do…..if God has not called you to do it. He may call someone ELSE to do it….but if He hasn’t called you SPECIFICALLY to do it, than it’s done by YOUR power and not God’s power at all. I do not want to do DANA-sized tasks, because frankly, I’m cheap and lean a little on the lazy side at times. I want to do GOD-sized tasks that He called, He led, He provided, and He enabled to happen.

Clear as mud?

Well, if you are still lingering in hopes it gets clearer and more intelligent, well…..this is it, folks. Doesn’t get much better than this.

But here is why I’m writing all this confusing stuff in the first place: I have an opportunity to go to Mexico for 8 days in July.

Our church is taking some of the college kids and I’ve been asked to go.

Now, my first GUT reaction is YES YES YES!!

BUT, my human-ness is saying: How in the world am I going to come up with the money to do this? How can I miss 10 days of WORK to go? I still have BILLS to pay and I don’t have sick/vacation days with my job in order to go. Who’s going to keep the kids while Mike is at work because HE is using his ONLY vacation days he has for church camp in June? If he takes off for camp, he has no days for my mission trip.

So, Thursday and Friday during my prayer times, I laid ALL of this mess at Jesus’ feet. First, am I to go at all? I don’t want to go JUST because it’s a mission trip. I want it to be God’s plan, not mine. And, I don’t know if this is testing God (I hope it’s not, because I don’t want to be UNFAITHFUL and UNTRUSTING of my loving God), but I did ask Him to be very clear with me, yell really loud, and if a certain thing happens, than I’ll know for SURE it’s from Him.

I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to go, but I have NO clue where $500 is going to come from! I’ll be lucky to have an extra $5 for my ladies tea ticket this week!

And did you know that passports cost $100?!?!?

Our Experiencing God class teaches us that faith requires action. So, I have been praying fervently about this since Wed night, and since I feel like God is seriously calling me to do it, I printed out all of the paperwork to apply for my passport. And then sat at the kitchen table and filled them all out Friday afternoon after my quiet time. I can’t send off for it, because I don’t have $100….but I have them filled out! That’s ACTION!

So, if you have a little extra second or two in your quiet time, could you maybe say a little prayer for a scared Mom in Oklahoma that feels led to do a Mission trip to Mexico? For ME, this is a GOD-sized task that on my own I would not be able to do. But, I have faith in this loving God, that if He called me to DO IT, He will equip me with EVERYTHING I NEED to accomplish His plan.

And I’m learning to trust Him.

Iron Chef challenge results

I do not like to cook. I do not enjoy it. But since the other people occupying this house that call me “MOM” or “HONEY” keep insisting on wanting FOOD, I have to make it. Grr.

I am not imaginative, I do not follow recipes well because there is too much STUFF that goes in them, and most things that usually come out of my kitchen is either from a can or a box. No lie, ask my extended family who joke about “Dana bringing a box for Thanksgiving….”. I wish I were joking. It just requires too much time/money/energy to REALLY cook.

Actually, if I could eat all my meals OUT….I would. Truth be told.

But, when Heidi started her Iron chef-blogstyle, I thought (this month) I’d give it an honest try. I can’t do them every month, but I’ll try it THIS month.

And I went to the store and bought all the ingredients that I did not already currently have.

I even had to google “shallots” to find out what they were. Yeah, and then I got to WalMart and couldn’t find a shallot to save my life. I had to ask the veggie boy the ever embarrassing “If-I-were-a-shallot-where-would-I-live?” question. That’s love and devotion to my friend, Heidi .

This is what I did with the leftover shallot ‘mush’….I think it’s technically called minced, but I’m not a minced sort of cook, I’m a ‘mush’ kind of cook….

I put them in a freezer baggie, squeezed out all the air, and then froze them for a later use.

So, recipe #1 that I chose to make was:

CHICKEN FETTUCCINI CARBONARA:

The noodles were al dente and I am not a fan of al dente, so next time, I will definitely let them cook a minute longer (MY COOKING mistake, NOT recipe mistake, let me make that clear).

Austin LOVED this because it has bacon in it. He is a fan of all things BACON. This was his FAVORITE recipe.

Chandler hated it altogether. Not a bit surprising, he hates everything that does not come out of a cereal box.

Brooklyn also refused to touch it because the noodles were straight not “COOR-LY”. She may have tried it if I had bought curly noodles.

Mike ate it. He eats everything, so who knows. He did not go for seconds so either it is very filling, or he didn’t like it. I have no idea.

I did like it! I LOVED the bacon in it! And I liked the basil in it! I don’t think I’ve ever cooked with basil before, but I think I’m a fan! GO BASIL!

The next recipe I tried was:

Chicken Georgia (that I mistakenly called Georgia Chicken the entire time):

The kid-cut-up version on an OH-SO-ADORABLE Princess plate

Please pardon the pictures, I should have lightened them, but I’m lazy today. And I just want to say, I did not add the cheese to the top of any of them, my Assistant Chef, 3 year old, Brooklyn added all the cheese. She kept insisting “I’m not DONE yet!” She wasn’t screaming so I went with it. Here….have some more calcium…..

Brooklyn ATE it! If you didn’t catch that….SHE *ATE* it! And because I was SO SHOCKED at seeing this, I took her picture EATING IT!

Chandler *ATE IT TOO*!!! This realization almost sent me over into the land of insanity. I still cannot get over it! He didn’t complain, didn’t say a WORD, just ate it!

Austin, REALLY liked it, it would have been the winner had it had bacon in it. His favorite was the sauted mushrooms.

Mike didn’t say anything, he just ate it. Much like MOST things I put in front of him, he doesn’t ask questions or comment, he just devours it. I am guessing that his favorite was the mushrooms as well because he went to the leftovers and picked out EVERY mushroom and ate it.

I LOVED it! It was my favorite! The combination of mushrooms and shallots sauted on the top was incredible! Really yummy! I will make use of the frozen shallots in my freezer. I will say, I did use the entire container of mushrooms because we all like them, and I sauted them sliced. I’m not sure how they were supposed to be, but mine were sliced.

The last recipe I tried was:

Crispy Chicken

Again, on an UTTERLY-ADORABLE Princess plate.

Brooklyn ATE IT! If it did not take so much time to MAKE them, I would have taken a picture of her eating this one too. LOL She didn’t like the “wet” ones though….and I couldn’t figure out what she meant by “wet ones” til I flipped it over and saw a couple spots of grease from the butter on the bottom. LOL Easily rectified with a papertowel. She did like all the ones that were NOT wet on the bottom.

Chandler ate this as well! I wasn’t all that surprised because he will consent to eat nuggets every once in a while. They were mild enough and UNSUSPICIOUS-LOOKING to make them acceptable in his eyes. I will say, I did do 4 drumsticks in this recipe because I figured he may eat those, and oh yes, every one. I had ZERO leftovers of this recipe!

Austin really liked it! He would have liked it better with…..wait for it…..betcha can’t guess…….BACON. {sigh}

Mike ate it. Then proceeded to eat all the leftovers that the boys did not inhale.

I really liked it, I added basil to the recipe because frankly, I bought basil and wanted to use it more than one time. I know, I’m sad. I don’t care. I wish I had added more spices. The only downside: VERY TIME CONSUMING! She even says so in the recipe. They are very good, but I just don’t have time for all that mess. How’s that for honesty?

So there ya have it! I hope I can do even more challenges because it is forcing me to get out of my RUT, I call cooking. Grrr. So thank you, Heidi for making me cook. Which I hate. Wait….why am I doing this again? Oh yes….heathens want to eat EVERY DAY. Bummer.

But you did get 3 new recipes out of the deal….

Titus 2 Tuesday

I’ve been lax on my blog carnivals lately, so I thought I’d jump back in. I love Shanda and her blog that is so uplifting and encouraging on a daily basis! If you haven’t been to her blog, click the link up top and head over there, you will be so glad you did!

I have friends, but mostly aquaintences, and none that have been CLOSE in quite a while. (I’m so honored to have Alexis, and Pam, and Rachel, and Heidi in my little blog world that simply ADORE and have been such an encouragement to me and helpful when I needed it!) But to have a close friend in real life, I haven’t had one other than my Mom or my husband, in quite a while.

And, even though I can be talkative to people I know, to reach out to people I do NOT know, is difficult for me to do in person! Sad, I know, but I’m working on it. Sometime last year, a new family started coming to our church, but I was too afraid to go over and talk to them. The husband had tattoos and frankly a little scary looking! Probably a LOT scary looking to be honest. (Sorry, Benny!) And because I am self-conscious and scared of meeting new people, I don’t believe I ever introduced myself to them. Shame, shame, shame on me…..

But through situations and events at church, I was able to get to know this family and find a good friend in Hannah. She’s one I talk to everyday, and when we are able, she’ll come over during the day with her son to play and do laundry. It’s nice to have a friend that will come over just to hang out and instead of being horrified at the chaos I live in with babysitting children, she pitches in and helps. And even get laundry done! I don’t have to entertain her, she can just hang out and that is nice.

And her husband is not so scary after all.

Thank you, Hannah, for accepting my goofiness, my craziness, and the insanity that usually surrounds me! Come and hang out anytime!

True Story Tuesday

Because sometimes….the truth is better than fiction……

Having children is WONDERFUL. Let me preface this with that.

Because I do a lot of talking at church (hush fellow church members ) I always like to keep a stash of gum in my purse. Unfortunately, my gum-stealing family knows this as well, and long before I get into church, they’ve rummaged my purse looking for my minty-goodness.

So I started hiding it in my little coin zip pocket in my purse. All of the males in my house KNOW what I keep in that pocket and they steer clear of it. And because I work with teenage girls, I always have a nice stash of tampons and pads for those emergencies that happen, tucked away in that zip pocket. No one goes in that pocket. They believe somehow if they acknowledge the contents of that pocket even EXISTS, somehow, menstruation will occur in THEM. Men are strange.

So the gum is safe in THAT pocket.

However, my fool-proof plan did not take into consideration my 3 year old who simply doesn’t care.

Walking through Target one day with both boys and Brooklyn in tow, I suddenly hear, “Look, Mommy! I found GUM! You said it was GONE, but I FOUND it!”

I look in utter mortification as the ENTIRE contents of that pocket were UNWRAPPED and strewn all OVER the cart! And to make matters worse, the pads were STUCK to the cart!

And they smelled beautifully of MINT to which Brooklyn proclaimed to everyone in the store! “See? They even SMELL like gum!”

So there you have….the REST of the story….

iHeartfaces-NO FLASH

WOOHOOO! It’s that time again, and I’m EXCITED! I LOVE natural light! It was the HARDEST thing for me to learn, but the MOST rewarding for sure! Once you master exposure, especially that yummy natural light, the rest is allllllll downhill! I’m still working on mastering it….but I’m trying!

This weeks entry is my 3 year old taken in the front entry way of my living room. I opened up that front door and let the yummy morning light stream in! PERFECT for natural light portraits! My entry is small and usually always a mess with toys and kids, but you’d be surprised what gorgeous-ness you can take in the oddest of places!

And it was not easy finding photos using natural light of ADULTS! When I usually practice on adults, I’m OUTSIDE with them! So finding some indoor ones was not easy. But I kept coming back to the photo of my Dad I took one holiday last year. Again, taken inside my entryway. I’m sure he thought I was nuts when I asked him to stop right there while I take a photo! LOL But it’s probably easily my FAVORITE one of just him. Love you, Daddy!

Thank you, iHeartfaces, for starting this CRAZE we are ALL obsessed with! Click on one of the above photos and begin your obsession!

EDITED TO ADD STUPIDITY: for some reason, I assumed NO FLASH meant NATURAL LIGHT, meaning indoor photos with no flash. …..hehehehehe…..I feel dumb…..so I could have used outdoor photos shot with NO flash….but aren’t MOST photos taken outdoors with no flash? Sorry for my confusion! It happens often….my family’s used to it….

Oh a little of this….

Well, I took some time off. Not for any REASON, I just did. I was concentrating on some things around the house, and trying to catch up on a few things. I had some sewing that needed done, especially, and some house cleaning. I was sick, then Brooklyn had strep. FUN FUN.

Not.

So I’ll try to sum up a little of what’s been going on.

Monday, during my prayer time, I had a little mini-meltdown with God. I wasn’t angry, just trying not to worry about bills and finances. We are FINE, but there are things that I can’t get done because of the expense, and one of those was Austin’s glasses. I have suspected for a long time that he needs glasses, however, that costs money….extra money I never seem to have. And I bought the new camera, and then felt horribly guilty I did that over taking him into the eye doctor. My head tells me I did the right thing, but my heart tells me I’m a horrible parent, my son needed glasses, and I get a new camera….

So, Monday I am confessing what my head and my heart are battling with, Austin needs glasses, Lord, and I don’t know what to do….

A few hours later, I get a phone call from a lady who wants me to photograph her wedding. Here’s a little how the conversation went:

Her: I want you to do my wedding.

Me: Oh I’m so sorry, I don’t DO weddings.

Her: Oh. Well, will you do mine?

Me: No, no, I’ve never done a wedding, I’m not qualified to do them, call around, there are some wonderful wedding photographers out there, but I can’t do it.

Her: OK, but our budget is very small, and most people won’t do it for what we can pay.

Conversation ends and I think, over with.

Later that evening, she calls me back and says she can’t find ANYONE else who can do it within their budget, will I consider doing it.

Oh, and did I mention, their wedding is in 6 days? As in, 6 days from the PHONE CALL. And guess what?

I did it.

(Her toe ring had little blue stones in it for her Something Blue. We thought that was a HOOT, so I took a photo of it.)

(Her dad getting ready to hand his daughter off to her new husband)

I haven’t edited a lot, (in fact, I took 450 shots yesterday, almost double the amount of prints than the MONEY I was paid! HAHAHA) but these were a couple that I had done that were just fun or just too sweet to miss. I am NOT a wedding photographer. I still do not think I am qualified to do them. But, I did THIS one. The family was amazing. They were warm and loving and included ME in all of their stuff.

And yesterday, when I was finished and most of the people had left, the Bride hugged me and said, “I knew it had to be you.”

THUD!

And the other realization….their very small budget for photography for their special day, gave me JUST enough money to take Austin to the eye doctor and buy him a pair of glasses. And I was able to pay my sweet friend for helping me. And it covered the cost of their prints.

So, God supplied the money for this appt. He goes next Tues to have his exam, and then we will go shop for inexpensive glasses for him.

THUD. Does that not just BLOW YOUR MIND?? Seriously? I am on the floor….

Then Thursday, I had my senior portraits from the other GOD MOMENT from the week before. I don’t know this lady, she found my website and loved my photos.

I did NOT fail! I went into it with a contingency plan, a plan “JUST IN CASE” I screwed it up. This is what I’ll say when they don’t turn out. I’m not sure WHY I do this, but I do it almost every time. Another reason I’m SHOCKED when I win the iHeartFaces contests, I just plan to fail. And why I have such a hard time CHARGING people full price for my photos, I don’t see them as moneyworthy. So a lot of times, I end up giving them away.

But I’m learning. I’m getting better. I think the Lord is trying to instill some confidence in me somewhere. And that just knocks my socks off! He is concerned with how I view MYSELF. WOW.

Pam, from Life by the creek , said something that hit home with me: “You must be doing something right, because each week the different judges all like what you’re doing.” That meant something HUGE to my confidence. Thanks, Pam!

And I’ll add my last 2 buttons for honorable mentions from the iHeartFaces photo contests in a bit. They really do mean a TON to me!

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TOTAL change of subject, but one I can’t miss. Do you know what this is?

Yes, that’s my messy kitchen, don’t judge, I have 7 kids in my house everyday. But do you know WHY I took a picture of my groceries? Heidi? Do you recognize any of that? Those are the ingredients for ALL 3 of the recipes!! I’m actually DOING it! Yes, I’m terribly slow, but I’ve had some God-moments going on, and He said I could take a few days off from cooking. OK, that’s a lie, but I did it anyway.

I’ve only made ONE so far, and my family thinks I’m a lunatic for 1) taking a picture of my groceries, and 2) taking a picture of the end result:

This was the Chicken Carbonera and it was YUMMY!! Yes, you see BASIL in there! Yes, I had to BUY basil at the store because I don’t believe I’ve ever OWNED any. And YES, those are SHALLOTS for tonights recipe Georgia Chicken, and YES, I had to GOOGLE what shallots are….and then had to ask the little veggie boy the If-I-were-a-shallot-where-would-I-live question…. But DOGGONIT, I made CHICKEN CARBONERA and it was GOOD! That’s love, Heidi , that’s love. Seriously, go to her page and check out the recipes. And then COOK them.

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I’ll blog my Ruth lesson later. And also my iHeartfaces entry. I THINK I’m going with this one:

Or should I go for THIS ONE?

Let me know cuz I’m posting TODAY.

EDITED TO ADD: WOW, I LOVE that last shot, however, I am seeing the HUGE difference in cameras now that they are next to each other! The first photo is with my new D90, the second one is with the old D80! That is a HUGE difference there!

iHeartfaces-GREEN

YAY!!! Another week, another contest! I do have to admit, I’m kind of finding them stressful. I seriously stress a WEEK ahead on what photos I’m going to post. Or do I just try and take new ones? Some weeks I use old ones, some weeks I plan ahead and take photos ahead just for the competition coming, and sometimes, like this week, I take new ones. So, for your viewing pleasure, these photos are brand new….today actually.

This week’s theme is GREEN! And I cannot think of anything nicer than green eyes! The kids photo is my son, Chandler’s gorgeous green eyes. And the adults photo is my handsome husband of 17 years, gorgeous green eyes. I am so thankful that at least one of my children has his eyes! Brooklyn is still deciding on her color, somewhere between blue and green, but I think they are leaning more green than blue the older she gets.

I know eyes can be really creepy close-up and I tried to think of that when I took the photos. Chandler usually always has a smile on his face, and his eyes show the twinkle whether or not you can see his mouth. Mike on the other hand….well, he thought I was creepy for taking a picture of his eye.

Luck O’ the Irish to ya, and skip on over to iHeartfaces and check out the other entries! I am ALWAYS inspired and blown away by so much creativity and talent!

Photo Friday madness!

This was my week…I’ll sum up:

Chandler had his FIRST play! YAY! Austin always hated them and hid in the back. He was in a Christmas play in the 4th grade and REFUSED to wear an elf costume. He wore the hat, but was the only elf wearing a black tshirt and jeans instead of the Christmas attire he was supposed to wear. Nice.

Chandler on the other hand, was not shy. At all. He loved it and hammed it up for the camera!

Well I tried to add a video of him dancing, but I can’t. Too bad too, because he was a riot! LOL

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I discovered Prop Insanity this week as well. I am a new photographer (I have to start calling myself that or I’ll never make it. Gotta LOSE my fear!) so I’m just starting out with a lot of this stuff and learning a LOT about props and this web page was exactly what I needed!

Last week, I found THIS lovely gem, not sure what it is SUPPOSED to be, but for my purposes, it will be holding a beautifully swaddled newborn.

See? This is my “lovely” model, Brooklyn’s MUCH beloved Ghetto Baby. If she has a name, we are unaware of it because we just call her Ghetto Baby. Brooklyn adores her….as you can see.

But since I didn’t have a real baby to stick in there to demonstrate, I just stuck Ghetto Baby in there. The fruit bowl (I’m guessing) only cost me $12 at TJ Maxx! YAY!

And then last night, I found this TREASURE at Ross for $8!! I am SO UBER excited about it!! It looks like a vintage suitcase with silver hardware. It’s the PERFECT size for a new baby boy! WOOHOO!

Now, I need some newborns…I’m desperate.

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Did some practicing with my faux background as well. I still have some kinks to iron out, but I LOVE how it turned out for the most part.

And my FAVORITE….and will be entered in the iHeartfaces contest one of these weeks:

Love that photo. Love my new camera. Love my new lens.

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Lastly, I stalk follow a blog by a remarkable lady that makes me laugh so hard, Rachel, from Once Upon a Miracle is doing a giveaway for her 300th post! But, don’t go there. No really. Don’t enter it. They aren’t totally adorable magnets you’ll win…..I’m sure you won’t want them at all, so don’t go there and enter the contest because then I’ll have LESS of a chance of winning! LOL And I really really want those darn things! I enter all these contests and NEVER win, doggonit, so you can stalk follow her too, but I wanna win the magnets.

And I guess this will have to be it because there is a line forming behind me for the computer. Darn it. They’re like leeches….

Fix it Friday

I’m slow today, but I have sick kids….oh and, I made sick kids still model for me. Yes, I realize that’s mean, and I’m pretty alright with it when I got some great photos! I’ll post those photos after this post, but for now…..

Do you know what time it is??

It’s….

FIX IT FRIDAY!

The time when all obsessed with iHeartFaces join together to help “fix” a photo they give us!

And todays photo was WOW already….definitely great potential for some FUN photos!

Before: the before is great in composition I think. A little on the cool and yellow side, but the eye contact and catchlights are just yummy. Also, the hazards of standing in front of a window, the darn over-exposed areas on the right side of the photo. But I gotta say, sometimes for the sake of the photo, I just take it and don’t worry so much with the rules.

And my edits on their photo:

#1: just basic edits color, contrast, eyes

#2: I just boosted the colors. It’s fun, I like color, but I think it’s a little yellow. Oops.

#3: Just a FUN take on it; I softened and lightened the edges to give it a ethereal feel to it. Kind of like a soft glow. Again, just for fun.

#4: cuz you HAVE to have a B&W! And I cropped it in where I would have liked. I wish I could have done more of an off center, but the photo didn’t really allow much for it.

#5: You know how much I adore PW’s 70s action!

And finally because it’s naptime and I’m SUPPOSED to be reading my Bible lesson today…

#6: I added a touch of sepia to the BW photo, and just added some funky scroll-y things to the edges. After I did it, I wish I hadn’t added the scroll-y things. There ya go, I’m all honest and stuff.

Now for you other obsessed iHeartfaces fans….here’s a link to the other obsessed fans for Fix-it-Friday! http://iheartfaces.blogspot.com/2009/03/fix-it-friday-6.html

Experiencing God-God reveals Himself

When God speaks by the Holy Spirit, He often reveals something about Himself. Taken from Experiencing God.

As far back as I can remember doing this blog, my first post back in June or July of 2008, I’ve said I thought God was calling me to something. I didn’t know what at the time, but I thought it had something to do with missions. As far back as that first post, I’ve said I didn’t how God would do that because I have a job, and I have to pay my bills. I don’t mind doing whatever You want, Lord, but I have this family here that likes to eat….likes to sleep in a bed….likes to wear clothes….so I’ll do whatever You want, but You better supply the way….

And today I got it. I didn’t trust God to take care of me, supply my needs, or provide.

From today’s lesson of Experiencing God:

God speaks when He wants to involve a person in His work. He reveals His character to help the person respond in faith. The person can better obey God’s instructions when he believes God is who He says He is and when he believes God can do what He says He will do.

Yeah, and I still didn’t get it from that! LOL I’ve always said, Talk to me like I’m 4 and I’ll get it.

God reveals Himself to INCREASE FAITH that leads to action. Listen attentively to what God reveals to you about Himself. What He shows you will be critical when you come to a crisis of belief [the place I come to when I have to decide to act on what God is showing me He wants me to do].

It’s happened twice now, once last week with my roof, and again yesterday with the phone call in the middle of my prayer. God is revealing Himself to me as my Provider. He is trying to show me that if He calls me to do it, He will provide the ways and the means for it to happen.

He is trying to get me to understand this fact. When I understand this, I will be better able to step out in faith and trust that He is who He says He is, and He will do what He says He will do.

So, by Him revealing this to me, I am hearing from God, which means, I am where He wants me to be, and I am BEARING FRUIT!

I feel a little apple there…maybe a little mango over there! If you could see the stupid smile on my face right now and the little wiggle in my seat….oh you’d be laughin’, but only laughin’ WITH me, cuz I’m EXCITED!

The need for a DAILY, intimate relationship is VITAL! I’d like to say I’ve always been this close to God, I’ve always read my Bible everyday, and my prayer life can part the chicken soup in your bowl, but I’d be a liar. I’m only just in the last year figured out the DAILY walk is what gets you there. Otherwise, I get the constant battle of trying to do it myself, the HARDER way because I’m too stubborn to make the effort to build that relationship! I was still a Christian, still loved God, but on MY terms, when I wanted to, and HOW I wanted to. Yes, God still speaks, but it’s usually with a smack to the head to get you to wake up and do it HIS way! “I’m HERE! I’m pursuing you…wish you’d jump on board! Look, dummy, I love you!” He was patient with me, and He was faithful! It’s been a long, slow process, but I had to come to the realization that it’s a DAILY relationship, not whenever I wanted to spare the time. So, a few years ago, He laid missions on my heart. Then nothing else for awhile. I had to come to the realization that I had to pursue HIM as hard as He was pursuing ME. And now, He is revealing Himself to me! HE IS MY PROVIDER! If He calls me to do it, He will equip me to do it!

So there ya go….my BIG AHA moment today.