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Dear Teachers:

I know this is the beginning of school, and we all have grown fat and lazy over the summer (that may be just me….), but there are a few rules I need you to comply with:

These are my precious babies that I am trusting with you. They are boys, and in today’s society, seem to be treated a lot harsher than the girls. Boys are good too. Please be fair.

Treat them with respect or you are toast. I’m just sayin’….

I am a working Mom who is doing the best she can to make ends meet, I am not sending extra supplies for other students. I am not sending tissues. I am not sending Ziploc bags. I am not sending wipies. If they do not know how to wash their hands and faces by now, then shoot me. I am not sending sharpies or extra dry erase markers for you. I just can’t do that. If my child needs it, I promise to send it. But I cannot afford to send school supplies for you too. Said with respect for your position and hard work. Honest.

Please stop sending me everything under the sun to sign, I have writers cramp and I’m not even in school anymore! If you want to know all about my sons, let’s meet, you’ll get all my jokes a lot better. Please do not send me forms that ask about expectations and strengths and weaknesses or I will have to fill them out how I see fit:

Expectations for Egg #2 for this year: financial independence and the ability to do his own laundry. Amen.

Strengths: His arms are pretty strong. His odor after playing outside. And he is a closet genius, you must work to find it, he isn’t going to show you on his own. (but don’t tell him we know his secret)

Weaknesses: kryptonite; his ability to shower or brush his teeth without being told, his jokes on occasion (I don’t know where he gets that from.) ;)

(actually taken from a real form filled out and returned to a teacher…I will not disclose the name of the sender so as not to incriminate myself. {ahem.})

If you promise to follow these guidelines, I promise:

-Not to go to the school for “meetings” with you outside of conference time.

-to ensure my boys are respectful to you.

-my boys will shower everyday. And brush their teeth. (You’re welcome.)

Get a good nights’ sleep. (Just don’t tell Chandler I took this. HAHAHA)

And I promise I will make sure they get a good start in the morning.

Thank you for all that you do, teachers!

Sincerely,

Austin and Chandler’s Mom

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