I’m sorry.
There, let’s just get that out in the beginning. Some of you will not like me when I am finished with this post. I just have to be OK with that.
This is the Free Train, this stop is YOURS…..time to get OFF. All of you.
Over the weekend, I went to the iHeartfaces Dream Big weekend in Dallas and I learned a TON! But, I had to take a long, hard look at myself and my business and I had to be honest with myself. What I saw made me really really sad, mostly at myself. And I had some hard decisions to make, one of those being whether or not I would even continue in photography.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it! It’s a stress reliever for me, and it’s something I actually have talent in. But, it’s not making me money. Now, how in the world, with my prices is THAT possible?
Let me show you……
I cannot tell you the times I’ve heard “oh, I can’t afford you.” Or “Your prices are just out of our price range.”
And me…….being me…..I cave and either do them at such a discount that I make ZERO money, OR, as is the case a lot, I do them {gulp} FREE.
OR, and this happens a lot too……I VOLUNTEER in the beginning….and then the project becomes WAY more than I ever EVER anticipated, lasts way longer than I ever thought, and here I am stuck doing all of this work for FREE. Again. And it IS work! It’s time away from my family, time away from my actual DAY JOB that does pay me, and ends up making me upset with people. My body is wracked with stress and I’m taking 10 different vitamins a day to keep from strangling people.
Here I am, being brutally honest with you. I am standing here virtually naked in front of you with an honest heart.
I am angry.
I was sad at first, and then I really took a look at what it really was, and it’s people taking advantage of me. My friends (or those I thought were my friends….let me tell you, true FRIENDS do not do this) and some of my family and some of them just expect me to do this because I know them, I’ve met them, I’m related to them, I go to church with them, etc.
These same people also know just how hard Mike and I work. They know that my husband was laid off last year, he is making LESS money this year, and we are struggling to keep our head above water. They know I work a 10 hour day, 5 days a week, and I have a family to maintain, and none of this includes my 2nd job: photography. Some weeks, it is really hard. My life is not RainbowsandUnicornsLand. I am making myself physically ill trying to keep up with everything.
90% of what I do is FREE work.
Shocking huh?
I was shocked when it was broken down into such a black and white percentage. There are things I never mind doing, one of those being Littlest Heroes Project. I will always ALWAYS do those. Teaching Sunday school….I love it, and God called me to do it, so that stays. But, everything else? I’m sorry, this is your stop…….time to get OFF the FREE TRAIN.
My kids like to be clothed and fed and I enjoy ALL of my bills being paid. Do not take advantage of a KIND HEART! Shame on you. At the VERY VERY LEAST: SAY THANK YOU!
So, this is my new take on those who “can’t afford me”.
I know what Mike and I can and CANNOT afford. I’d love a new Lexus, but I cannot go onto a Lexus car lot and tell them how I LOVE LOVE LOVE their cars, they are the best cars ANYWHERE, and I’d LOVE to have one! “Ohhh….but your prices are too high, we just can’t afford that, would you just give me one for free?” And I LOVE me some Red Lobster! LOVE it! I cannot go into Red Lobster, tell them I LOVE their shrimp, but can’t afford it……Can I eat for free?
No, I knew I could afford a USED car, so I went to the USED car lot to buy a USED car….one that was in our budget. I don’t go to Red Lobster, I go to McYucks (McDonalds for those that don’t know my complete aversion to McYucks). I go to what I can afford. If you cannot afford CUSTOM PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHY, then do what you CAN afford. If it’s WalMart, no shame in that. I did WalMart most of my life, would still be doing it if I wasn’t a photographer myself. *I* could not afford my work. DO what you can AFFORD. No shame in that.
Please consider that we are a struggling family in this economy. Please consider my family cannot afford what A LOT of other people can afford. We do without a lot of stuff. I am currently LITERALLY saving pennies/nickels/and dimes to afford the ONE thing my boys want for Christmas: an XBox 360. And instead of begging others to pay for it, or expecting people to give it to me because we are a struggling family, I am working my b u t t off to buy it for them. That’s what I do: I work for things. I don’t expect hand outs. I am working odd jobs to pay for one.
So, please, when you need my services, please PLEASE expect to PAY for it. My sitting fee is for EVERYONE. I may have a discount for friends and family, but I cannot afford to give away my work. Don’t expect me to do it.
And when I do something KIND for you, please say THANK YOU. Don’t expect it all the time. And don’t take advantage of me.
I work hard. I work VERY hard.
So, now, at the end of this rant, if you no longer want to be my “friend”, that’s alright. If you no longer want to go to church with me, or be my family, I don’t know what to tell you.
Be kind anyway.
Dana….was just looking at your photography site yesterday. I was impressed with your reasonable and professional pricing. I love your attitude in what you do give…no time restraints and complicated rules. It is hard to put your foot down, but you did it! You are right, you’ve put everything in perspective and the view seems focus and balanced. Phil and I go through the same thing with our private teaching and sometimes with church work too. It’s hard not to want to give everyone a discount or do for free. Hold your head high and be proud of what you do professionally and how it WILL bless your family. You know, you also have the Holy Spirit inside you that will guide you and lead you when you do need to give to someone…don’t let your head or your heart speak too loud…it sometimes deceives us. I think I’ll stop now…I’m proud of you, impressed with your work…can’t wait to see what great things are ahead for you.
BB
Dana, I think this is a huge step for your career, it had to be said and I’m glad you did…
You are an amazing photographer and you should be paid for your skills, let me know what I owe you for all the work you have done for us over the years, and I will try and get it for you…
Proud of you,
Jeff
There are a few places in your pricing sheet you could adjust that are too high.
You could do better with package pricing by making the packages more flexible.
You do have talent and skills but seem to be learning on the business aspect.
The beauty of Dana is a willing heart to learn — teachability.
Thank everyone!
Anonymous, please feel free to send me an email to explain more. If my pricing is off, I’m more than willing to look at it!
And packages are pretty flexible. Most photographers won’t budge, AND insist the packages be all one photo. Each print can be a different photo in my packages. And I’ve had several families not want the cards, so we do the equivalent in other prints….usually 5x7s. I need to let it be known that the packages are flexible, I think.
Thank you, Jeff! You’ve always been in my corner!
Dana,
You worked so hard to attain the skill level you have….I know how very hard you have worked! You deserve to be paid for your time and talent, and you have every right to stop doing free sessions for all!
I know personally I had many people tell me they couldn’t afford me, and then I would take a good long look at them….driving their expensive car, their kids having the latest and greatest gadgets, the fact that they just got back from Disney, or a cruise, or recently bought a new boat or Coach…Seriously, and they looked at me expecting me to bring my prices down for them.
I separated these people from those who have true need, its easy enough to tell the difference. The ones who have a child or loved one with a terminal illness…the struggling family of 7 who just had a baby and will have no good baby pics, the graduating senior who’s mom passed away a month ago…these are the people who I will willingly drop my price to ZERO for.
Close friends…I mean people I hang out with on a regular basis, those who’s kids my kid’s play with, they get a discount based on how close we are. People who just ‘know’ me…sure, how about 5-10% or a free 8×10…that way they still feel like you appreciate them.
I beleive if you market yourself correctly from this day forward, you could eventually quit your day job. You are a GREAT photographer, you just made the mistake of letting people take advantage of you. You have a huge heart, and thats NOT a bad thing, it just made you a little more vulnerable to being used. Hang tough sweetie, those who do not want to be your friend after this, were never your friends to begin with.
Lots of love,
Donna
BRAVO!!!!! Dana, I only know you through your blog and your photography but you are VERY talented and should be able to make a living at photography. You deserve to be paid for your skills. (I am a fine one to talk–your rant made me get a clue, too). I have even talked people out of paying me. HELLO!!??!?!?!!
My brother just said this to me the other night…and now I’m going to say it to you. God has given you a gift–and He wants you to use it to bless others.
You cannot continue to bless others if you don’t have the time–which means you need to make enough at photography to quit your day job. And yes…with your talent, it CAN be done.
Just the other night, I saw a man at church holding a photo that I took of him and his daughter at the Harvest Fair at our church. He is divorced and the way he stared at that photo all through class, made me wonder if he had ever had a photo taken of the two of them. It blessed my heart SO MUCH to think that I could give him that kind of happiness.
So…what did Paul say to Timothy?? Something about fanning into flame the gift that had been given to him.
So make your changes…don’t waste your time being mad…just make the changes and move forward!!
So proud of you!!! And let me know if I have to come and slap you for doing another session free of charge.
Karin
Dana… I love and appreciate this post! Bravo! You have to do what you have to do! I wish I lived closer I would HIRE you to be our family photographer!
Damn right!
I think it was over at Digital Photography School I read a piece about photographers being taken advantage of by family and friends. They used a wedding as an example of when a photographer might be approached to take some shots, cos, y’know, well you’re here anyway…. yet a dentist isn’t similarly approached and asked y’know, since you’re here anyway would you mind checking everyone’s teeth?
Put that way it is rather ridiculous isn’t it?
So after reading everyone’s comments I see that I am of like mind with them. This is your job. No one should expect to receive your service for free nor should you have to give it away. Good for you girl. Be strong and stand tall. You are worth every penny you ask for.
Way to go girl! I have a close friend who is a photographer. I watch her give and give – she does so much for people for free who really cant afford it. Now, can I afford her right now? No way. Do I think she is worth her prices? Absolutely. And when I can, I will totally pay full price for her services. Until then, we are ok with what we can get. I think that what you see and have experienced is a symptom of a bigger issue in our society. We think we need or deserve something, and that people should just give it to us. It is the always wanting the next big thing mentality versus the being grateful for the very breath we take mentality.
I am not there yet, by any means. But I am working on it. And shame on me if I ever take advantage of someone the way you have been taken advantage of. Because I know what that feels like, and it is nasty.
Hey Dana
I always like looking at your photography and I’ve learned a lot from you. You are always willing to share advice, you are very kind.
You know I’m not a professional. But I got stuck in a situation where I did some pictures for one person I knew, then all of a sudden people came out of the wood work because she told them I didn’t charge. I got totally burnt out this summer. It was totally thankless. I even had one woman threaten to sue me because I edited several prints then tossed the ones that were not worth editing and gave her the nice ones. BUT, she wanted them ALL! OMgosh, she threatened to sue me because I tossed many of “HER” photos. That’s the discussion you got involved in and made it clear to me that they were actually “my photos” So I told her to bring her lawyer on. Which never happened. BUt never, thank you…it was totally expected. She treated me, as many others did, like I was making a living on this. I even did a BIG engagement set for a young couple , friends of a friend, that not once sent me a thank you email or card. Then had the nerve to ask me to do their wedding because they couldn’t afford a “real”photographer. A couple weeks ago someone asked me to do pics of their little boy, the lion boy pics. I said I would but they had to give me gas money because it was an hour from my house. I got there , shot photos for three hours (which I truly love) and when we went to leave and I asked for the gas money she said she would mail me a check because she forgot to get cash and bring her debit card. Amazing. Guess what, those photos are still in light room and she’s calling and emailing about meeting me HALF way to give her some photos.
I work for a Doctor during the day, Dana. His theory on handing out samples is that he will do it if someone really can’t afford their meds. Otherwise….he feels people take their meds better only when they have to pay for them. Same with probably anything. It’s an odd world out there with a ton of ungrateful people.
I don’t make a l ot of money. But looking at your prices if I really wanted nice photos once a year of my family I could do it. With a couple mos of savings. Which I would do over standard, walmart, photos. That said….
You stick to your guns. You should be paid as a professional and shame on people taking your kind heart for a ride. Put your family first, always.
Kelly from FB
PS I’m sorry about the long post. I guess all I was trying to say was that I can see people trying to walk all over me, but you have your prices set in stone on your site. There’s no excuse. People that will do this to you, Dana, are just not people that will be there for you when it gets tough. Sorry if that angers anyone.
Hugs and I wish we lived closer I’d have you do my grandson’s pics and I’d PAY YOU FOR THEM!
Dana! I LOVE This! And I love your new motto! You are great and you are going to become greater. Even greater. Praying and rooting for you. Go, Dana, GO!
Dana , you rock,. You know I am dealing with a lot of the same. Stick to your guns, don’t feel bad.You rock , and you deserve to be paid like a rockstar. Some day there will be people who will realize that we really don’t just snap a photo and send it to a lab. Really…I pray lol.Love ya.
I can’t even tell you how excited I was to read this Dana…YAY for you!!!
It was so awesome meeting you at the workshop finally and if we were able to encourage you to value your time and talents more, then I think the whole weekend was worth just that.
Love ya!
I suppose that what it all comes down to is that, talent-wise, you ARE a Mercedes. And anyone would LOVE to drive a Mercedes at Ford Focus prices. But let’s face it; it costs a LOT more to run a Mercedes dealership, and the owner would go broke in a week if he sold his luxury cars at economy prices. One thought for those who would love at least a few pictures from you but can’t afford a whole shoot would be to work out “mini-shoots”, where they end up with a promise of 5-10 good shots vs. the 30 or so that you would usually produce. Book ‘em in 30 minute increments with 10-15 minutes in between. You could price it so that the clients got that Christmas card or Mothers Day photo that they really, really wanted, and you still made good money for 6 hours of shooting. You would only want to offer it once or twice a year, but it could be helpful all the way around. OH.. and on IHF community, one member put her entire file of templates for having a “photo party” in one of the discussions. VERY cool… the person hosting gets free pics for having a “party”. They have to provide the space for you to put up a backdrop, etc. Could be another winner… :<) What IS it about me? I always have to give advice, or I feel like I'm not being helpful. !!! I love what Karin said about your gift; so very, very true. If you want to be able to do the missions trips and all of those other cool things He has in store for you, you gotta follow His plan. And just maybe, part of it is for you to learn to value yourself for the awesome creation that you are. xoxox….
You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need some boundaries….I learned the hard way too….ain’t gonna go there! Love, cj
First time at your site–haven’t looked at your photography work–but I totally respect what you are saying. Many of us sell ourselves short and we end up doing more harm than good. Your honesty was a breath of fresh air in the blog world. I too am really sick of watching people around me who “can’t afford” things (like plane tickets in our case) drive really nice cars, have all the big ticket electronic items etc. etc. I don’t care how they choose to spend their money–just quit whining about not affording–all the while hoping that someone else will pay.
anyway, sorry about the rant–I just liked your post. Now I will admire your photography work
Blessings,
Carin
Hi Dana,
I’ve admired your work on IHF and came to visit your blog for the first time today. Your work is FABULOUS! You are absolutely a professional, and deserve to be treated and compensated as such.
I’m at the beginning of the road that you are traveling now — in an effort to see if I could start a portrait business, I have been shooting a few children and families for free in exchange for the use of the images in my portfolio. I’m wondering what these prospective clients will feel when I do actually start charging for my services… But having read of your experiences, I now know that I will have to be firm right from the start. So thank you so much for this post, and I hope that your business will continue to grow and prosper!
Have a great day!
Mary
Hi Dana…..
Girl…..I “feel” you. I am “you”…..Just starting out and trying to build a portfolio and I can’t quit being nice. I know I have to. It’s hard. I need to make the leap…….instead of that slow struggle up to the diving board. I know what you would say….”Jump off already!”
You do awesome work! I love it!
Be strong! You are WORTH it!
A Fan for Sure!
Jule
Dana,
Hi Dana. I just came over from I HEART FACES and I must say that I am so glad that I did. I have not perused your website yet but I will. However, I just wanted to weigh in on this post and say COUDOS to you for writing it! I think it is awesome and if you are anything like me, probably LONG OVERDUE! It was so refreshing to read. Thank you! I don’t think I could have said it better myself!
I will definitely keep checking on you and I believe it can only go for you from here!
Wishing you much success.
Charisse
Hi Dana,
I am a professional photographer who works at a “fancy high-end” studio that charges a lot and sadly I have learned that people who get things for free or almost free take advantage of me in the long run or don’t come off as grateful for the shoot/images. I get a lot more praise from my clients that pay $1000-$3000 than I do from my friends who pay me $175 for a freelance shoot.
I found this thread because I actually did a google search for “photographer shoots for friends ungrateful” because I’m feeling like my close mommy friends are being awfully demanding after I gave them super inexpensive shoots. Glad to see I’m not the only one. I think you should never waiver on your prices only offer private discounts occasionally for friends.
Ashley
P.S. I have a response for Mary. As I have learned from shooting weddings, once you shoot for someone at a certain price point you can never raise your prices for them and all of their referral clients will be expecting the same rate.
Wow! How *exactly* did you get into my head? You know how you sometimes do not see something until it is in black and white in front of you. Yeah, so that is me. Thanks for speaking for some of us!