I’ve never been the popular one.  I’ve never sat at the cool table.

Why is it we always strive to?  What is it about that popular crowd…the Insiders…that makes them In?

I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to be In.   I longed for the popular clothes that everyone else was wearing, the money that everyone else seemed to have, and the looks. 

Have you ever really taken a look at the Insiders?  No fat chicks in there.  Nope, not one.  Not even one funny, fat sidekick.   Their loss….because frankly, I’m pretty funny.

And, the strangest thing, I thought once I was out of school, the In crowds would disappear!  So, imagine my surprise when I discovered them in the workplace, in families, and even in churches!  For one reason or another, I again, found myself on the outside….one of the perpetual Outsiders.  I didn’t go to the same high school or college as everyone else, I wasn’t rich (always a popular theme), I didn’t dress my kids in popular clothes (probably what fed my Gymboree addiction with Brooklyn), and, big shocker, I was still the fat chick. 

I hurt for my kids when I see them striving for that In crowd too, or when they are teased for being an Outsider. 

I was doing some praying in the shower this morning (don’t hate….it’s the ONLY peace I seem to get these days), for various things and various people, and it dawned on me:  the people I always seem to strive to be In with….really aren’t even nice people.  They are actually pretty selfish people.  They make me feel bad about myself.  I’ve been striving for the wrong thing and  fellowship with wrong people!

I have been in my own In crowd for years and I didn’t even realize it!  It isn’t a popular In crowd, and membership does not require a copy of your income taxes, a scale or mirror, or expensive clothes.  It does require you to think of others above yourself though.  That’s a tall order for most people.  Acts like cleaning a church for free, and anonymously for 9 months, or giving to the homeless when your husband is unemployed, or adopting a family for Christmas, giving groceries to a family in need, or traveling to scary places in the world to share the gospel and teach and train pastors…..these are some of the acts that my In crowd does!

The In crowd was originally called the Disciples and most died for their faith, others unjoined because it was too much for them.  But, they all followed Christ in one way or another.  They learned at His feet and all tried to be like Him. 

My In crowd doesn’t worry about who wore what, or who weighs what….they think more along the lines of, what can I do for someone elseHow can I share the love of Christ with someone else?

It isn’t a popular group, but it’s a group with people like me in it. 

Finally…….I’ve found where I belong.

And I am satisfied with that.

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