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50 Shades of Grey, a Christian's perspective on 50 Shades of Grey, book review, Christian review, Christianity
I feel I must put a warning at the beginning of this post. This post will be dealing with s e x u a l references as they pertain to a particular book series. Please be advised before you continue.
Also, please know, this is *MY* opinion and what I believe Christ has instructed me.
I know this post will NOT be popular with the world. I realize this. And yet…..here I go anyway. I am not supposed to be of this world anyway, so there. LOL
I have been hearing a *LOT* about a certain, new series of books that are out for women and people are going NUT-SO for them! The raving reviews are INCREDIBLE! It’s what The Hunger Games and the Twilight series did for teenagers: got them reading in droves! (Although it has NOTHING to do with the literary talent.)
Now, I’ve always been a book-lover. I love to read.
But, God spoke to my heart a few years ago and convicted me of the kind of books I had been reading: romance novels….the kind involving bodices being torn, etc. (Emphasis on the etcetera.) The racier the better. I loved it all. (Now I look back on it and I cringe!)
I had to come to terms to what exactly I was doing and having it shown to me with such honesty and abruptness by GOD HIMSELF really hit home to me and I’ve never forgotten it.
Ladies, it’s p o r n o g r a p h y plain and simple. I don’t mind being the bad guy that tells you this either. More on this later.
This book series that has all the women a-twitter is called 50 Shades of Grey. As a Christian woman, striving to live a close relationship with God, I cannot in any way shape or form, promote this book. I find it very sad honestly. I know the reviews are saying things like how “liberating” it is for women, but I just don’t see it like that.
Let me put it in terms that you may see it from my vantage point. If a wife stumbles across her husband’s hidden p l a y b o y collection, she would be upset. If she came across her husband’s hidden p o r n collection, she’d probably scream and yell and possibly throw things.
Men are visual, that’s why these appeal to men.
These books, 50 Shades of Grey, appeal to women’s minds.
IT’S THE SAME THING.
The only difference is, women can put it on their coffee tables, carry them around with them in their purses, read them on their kindles, and it is just a part of polite society. Liberating…. (tongue in cheek)
It is p o r n. It is written to appeal to women’s s e x u a l appetites. It is expecting our husbands to live up to this made up, make-believe man in a book and taking our affections away from our husbands and onto another (fake) man. It is emotionally and in some cases, physically draining on our marriages. It’s detrimental. I don’t care about the reviews that say it’s “bringing marriages closer” or about the “50 Shades of Grey” baby boom…..it’s taking your physical desire away from your husband in your own mind. It is finding your pleasure in something else other than your husband.
OR, in the cases of single women…..it’s finding your pleasure in an unnatural source. It’s still p o r n.
1 Peter 5:7-9 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
Now, I realize the early church was not speaking on p o r n o g r a p h y for women, but it IS a warning: Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. I don’t know about anyone else, but that SCARES me!
These books are Satan’s way of devouring us with a made up man named Christian Grey. It’s his way of steering us away from God. Not the direction I desire to go. And it worries me how very popular these books are.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman [OR MAN] with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Now, let me end this by saying, this was written by a Christian woman’s perspective. It is directed at the Christian women out there. Those who do not know Christ will not understand what it is I’m trying to convey. I believe these books to be a stumbling block in a Christian woman’s walk with God.
And…..this is something very personal that God has laid on my own heart. If He has not convicted you (and you have sought Him on this), then by all means, make your own decision. But I cannot, in all good conscience, recommend these books on any level.
Be kind to others, and seek Christ diligently.
Edited 7/10/2012: Please, before you comment with your opinion, make sure to read the ENTIRE post. Please notice the last line: Be kind to others. So, if you feel the need to comment with a mean and nasty opinion, don’t. It isn’t needed, and it isn’t kind, and it will be erased anyway.
Please know, I am an exceptionally kind lady to everyone. I am nonjudgemental of people, and I have very real feelings that can and are being hurt by comments by internet-brave people.
Also, please remember this was WRITTEN by a Christian woman to other Christians out there that love Jesus. So, before you leave a nasty or mean comment, please ask yourself if it is something that you would say to Jesus Himself. If you are not a Christian yourself, you do not even need to leave a comment because I was not directing this post to you at all.
So, in conclusion, let me say again: Be kind.
Just wanted to encourage you as a youth pastor and a husband I applaud you speaking out against this book. My wife and I cringe the more and more we hear about this series, and more people need to be speaking out against it. It is shocking how many women in the church enjoy this literature.
I wholeheartedly agree. I used to be an avid reader and quit when I had kids (I moved on to Dr. Seuss…). Recently, I found a couple books to read and got back into it. After finishing those books I went on Amazon to find a new one. This book kept popping up. “Bestseller”, “Most downloaded”, “Highly recommended”… etc. So, I read the description. Sounds interesting up until I read, “…Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes…” Um… no thank you. How can that, in any way, be God-honoring? Not for me, and it really shouldn’t be for any Christian woman.
Awesome post, Dana! As a believer, with a strong and vivid imagination, I couldn’t agree more! I don’t need anything like this in my life and I appreciate the warning!
Thank you for your post! You are the first one I have heard that has spoken the truth! I cannot believe so many “Christian” women are reading this and promoting it. It is disheartening.
Thank you for speaking out against this book! I started to read this book due to it being a pick for our book club. I stopped reading a quarter of the way through the book and felt the same conviction. Thank you for putting this into words.
I’m so glad there are others out there that feel the same way as me. I, too, got about a quarter of the way in and realized that what I was doing… simply reading… was just plain sinful. Bummed that all the hype got me to spend the $10. The devil works in the sneakiest of ways!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You beautifully wrote all that has been on my heart regarding this series! So happy to see you speaking truth! Be encouraged and most definitely, keep blogging!
Wow I agree.
Amen, sister. You said it all and said it well.
So disturbed by how popular this has become with mainstream women. You are right… I hate the way the enemy has so many sitting in pots on the stove slowly heating up!
Dana, I haven’t heard of this series, but I completely agree with the points you made about what we read. I too have been choosing books more carefully over the last couple years. As women, it is so important to guard our hearts…right on!
Thank you Dana. I am a Christian life coach and my primary area of focus is women’s sexuality. I have had clients ask about this book so I am thankful for your comments because I did not want to read it myself to form my opinion because I don’t want my own mind warped by lies! I pray that the book ‘Intimate Issues, 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex’ has a revival of sales as a backlash to ’50 Shades of Grey’ going viral. I recommend Intimate Issues to every one of my clients, no matter where they live, how much money they have or what beliefs they own. Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus set the standard based on The Truth for Christian wives to follow…the entire book is based on Scripture. It is God’s business to exchange good for evil so let’s be praying that women will search for the truth of what God intended when He created us as sexual beings instead of believing the lies spread by Satan!
Thank you so much for this well written blog about this book. I have been sitting quietly, twiddling my thumbs over this book for weeks now. I heard about it from a friend and knew nothing on it. I stumbeld across an episode of Dr. Oz featuring the book and I was appalled. But it seems like everyone around me is all about it. I want my affections… physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual to be directed at my husband my husband only. It’s insane to me that this is all of a sudden the “it” thing with women, even Christian women. Not for me. I stand with your convictions on this one.
Why aren’t MORE PEOPLE talking about this?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Why aren’t MORE PEOPLE talking about this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Amen!! Thank you for sharing this. The librarians couldn’t even read the descriptor out loud. Porn is to guys as romance novels is to women. Point blank.
I had never heard of this book until I recently started seeing posts on facebook about it. So, I decided to google it..from a Christian’s perspective. I’m thankful I came across your blog because now I know what it’s about and I will be steering clear of it!
I just wanted to share a quick note on this, and ask for prayer on it. My finance and I are coming to know the Lord. I feel like I’ve walked a bit longer with Him, and have picked up on things a bit more easier then she may. I’m trying to build our family around being a Christian household, and I feel like the accuser is knocking on my houses door. I found her reading this, and decided to read a few chapters (away from her) to see what kind of book it was. I have to say it really crushed me to find out the type of book she decided to read. In my old life, I would have not thought twice and would have thought oh great this is going to make her want to be more sexual. I really felt God speaking to my heart against this book, and I mentioned my feelings to my fiance about it. She felt I was trying to be controlling, and this and that, and I know I should be patient with her. I really feel like she’s taking the energy she should be putting on me onto this book. Sure, its just a book, but I really feel the “stuff” we put in our lives does affect our walk with God. I thank God for the readers of this, who agreed and are speaking against it, she’s right in saying the world isn’t “our way”. I thank God for giving me the wisdom to pickup on these sort of things. As stupid as it sounds, my relationship is in risk over this book. I put it at the feet of the Lord to sort out! I’d love any input on a healthy way to approach this subject to her. I just feel like the Devil is pulling her way, and I want to describe to her that I feel this is taking away from what she should be giving me.
:/
This is my opinion: broach it from another viewpoint with her. If she caught you reading a playboy and then you were wanting to be intimate with her, she would be hurt. (I would be angry!) If she knew you were watching a p o r n o, and then wanting to be intimate with her, she would be upset, and rightly so!
What women don’t seem to realize is that it is the very same thing. We are stimulated with our minds, where men are stimulated with their eyes.
Satan is using these books (and books like Shades of Grey and tv shows) to move us further away from our commitment and walk and relationship with Christ.
But, trust me, we ALL have to learn what our failings are and to be open to changing them. She may not even realize, I didn’t for many years. God opened my eyes, and since then, I have been on a journey to help other women to open their eyes as well. Good luck to both of you!
Well said, Dana. The double standard is there and evident. I don’t understand how people are justifying this book. At all. Your point was well stated, eloquent, heartfelt and dead on. Thanks for sharing it.
THANK you for this. I 100% agree
I came across this because a friend shared in on Facebook. I totally agree with what you have to say. When I got married my husband was addicted to pornography, it almost ruined our marriage. He was a Christian but had struggled with the addiction for years and thought he could give it up once married and in a sexual relationship with his wife. It caused him to have expectations that no woman could fulfill! Thankfully God helped him to overcome the temptation, but it was a struggle!
I remember reading some romance novels when I was younger, books my grandma had lying around the house, and now I’m just appalled by the idea! I feel that these kind of books are equal to porn, and am so glad that you are standing up for the truth!
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On another note, after discovering your blog I have gone through and read about your fostering, you are amazing! I’m praying that God will bless your family, including your foster children, in ways you can’t even imagine! I will be checking your blog for updates!
Amen!! Thank you so much for your willingness to take a stand against this latest satanic deception. The oversexualization of society, and women in particular, is key in leading society in rebellion against The Lord and our Savior Jesus Christ. Online porn was one step and now lit porn has taken over and will no doubt spark copycat novels in the coming months.
Marriage is under attack from all angles. Now more than ever Christians need to stick to the Bible and contend for the faith. To those reading this article, please listen to the Bible over your heart (I speak for myself when I say this as well) and flee from sexual perversion. It corrupts homes, hurts marriages and can lead to serious sin.
Thanks again for this excellent article. I googled to see if anyone was writing about this book series from a Christian perspective and this was the only article I found. Keep up the great work. May God bless you abundantly!
Amen to youfor posting this i thought this when all these older women my age told me i have to read this book, i said i am to busy for that if i have extra tine in my life i will do another my on line bible study people are so caught up in crap! my time is so preous to me.
I just found this post when someone linked it on facebook. Good for you! And I don’t feel you need to apologize for your stance in the least. As you pointed out, the Bible is clear on this issue. We have no need to be timid in condemning this book and encouraging other Christian women to steer clear. My friend and I will be starting a blog next month, and we plan to include good things that we can be filling our minds with. Maybe I’ll see you there!
Hi,
I just wanted to share here. I downloaded this series for my kobo. I started reading Friday night and finished the second book lastnight! I am an avid reader!! I just wanted to share with you all that since I started reading this book I have felt nothing but separated from God. This is the sort of book that I would have ploughed through and recommended to all of my friends last year before I met God in September. My goodness me, I have had every mental battle from saying, Yes God, I know, I feel your conviction, however I will get back to you as soon as I finish the books. Surely it’s not bad if I am thinking of my husband when I am reading this book. But I can truly say it has separated me from God, it has taken my eyes off the beautiful man who is my husband and focus on some imaginary character. The devil is at work, and he is a liar! He steps in where we are the most vunerable, for me my husband isn’t saved yet, I am awaiting the promise of God and know that he is faithful! I had truly battled with the idea of finishing this series until I came across this blog this morning. I am happy to say that God really spoke to me and said is this book more important than me? Is it more important than your relationship with your husband? I can honestly say to you, I have been having negative feelings about my marriage, where God has restored me to be blessed in my marriage. The answer to Gods question is this book more important than me? is…. NO WAY!!! I have deleted the books from my Kobo and now feel peace in surrendering to God! I thank God for you and your blog! Ladies please guard your hearts! I really did not realise how the devil sneaks in to the smallest things in your life and uses it for purpose! This morning I have trampled on his head and I thank God for his grace, forgiveness, glory and his direction!xxxx
I, too am glad I found this blog. I was at the checkout stand at the store and two women were talking about these books. Dr. Oz even had a show about it. It goes along with the same line as the twilight books and Harry Potter. Just another inroad from the devil to get people to flesh out.. and be enticed and deceived by him.
As the Bible says we are to be watchful because the enemy goes about as a roaring lion seeing who he can devour. The world fallls for anything.
We have to be more discerning! Bless you for speaking up!
Thank you for your blog and for your obedience to God. With many of my friends reading the new bestseller, one of them loaned it to me. I have questioned the book since it was handed to me and have yet to read it (and I love to read). However, I know that if I must question the book, that God is convicting me. Upon searching the web for more opinions, I came upon your blog. You (and the other posters) are correct that the devil attacks when we least expect it and it sounds like he is all over this one. Thankfully my GOD is much bigger and stronger!
I applaud your comments. My 22 year old daughter and I had a conversation about this today. I asked her what she thought about it. She said she thought that Satan had pretty much saturated the market on male pornography and was now going after the women. I love my wise beautiful daughter!!!
Thanks for your well thought out blog.
Im a christian teenager and ive been wanting to read this since most of my friends have been, i figured id see what a christian thought before i did read it so…. i appreciate your opinion and i now know how bad it would have been for me to read it, no where else said anything like this….
Thanks for talking about this! Here’s a link to my hubby’s opinion http://missionhusband.wordpress.com/2012/06/05/fiftyshades/
Completely agree!!
I am glad you read all of the imput. I was thinking I should read this book everyone is talking about. Now I know it’s not for me. I am glad I save my time and money.
What I find disheartening is all of you so called “Christians” passing judgment on Christian women who are reading it. Its none of your business and only God can judge. Do you honestly think you are any better because you aren’t reading it?
Andrea, honey, did you actually even read the post? I didn’t judge anyone for reading it, I said what it IS: PORNOGRAPHY. I didn’t say anyone would go to hell for reading it, I said it was pornography. LOL If someone is feeling judged, that wouldn’t be from me, that would be from the Holy Spirit.
Wow I am a christian and walk the walk but am dumbfounded by narrow minded ness .. What I do with my husband is God honoring and the books have given USA spark… Just us no one else… Alone … Behind locked doors…. It’s just a Book……
Dana, “honey”, (so condescending BTW), I did read the post and perhaps I wasn’t talking about YOU but someone else’s post. Also, I never said you people would go to hell for reading it! Wow! Adults amaze me sometimes!!! All I’m saying is that if anyone of you want to reach someone for Jesus, you are only doing it in such a way that makes people put their guard up and want nothing to do with Christians. Love them, don’t belittle them.
I apologize for the “honey”. I live in the south and use it all the time. I did not mean it in a condescending way.
This particular blog post was not directed in any way to those that do not know Jesus. This is not a post to reach the lost. This was a post written for Christian ladies. Those that already know Christ. And I do not feel that the post was belittling at all. It was informative. It was to bring some of God’s truth to the discussion.
Thanks for this blog, I googled this book to see what all the hoo-ha was about and was completely put off by it before I read your blog. You wrote what I was thinking. great work!
Dana, thankyou so much for your truly Christian perspective. I googled 50 Shades of Grey religious opinion and found you. Thank our GOD that I did. I had read about 100 pages of the first book and then started to doubt where this was going, I’d heard it was ‘great’ but not in the way that you and I, as Christians think of as ‘great’. It was starting to creep me out so rather than read more, ew, I read your blog. I have decided to burn them, all 3 books. I would not hand them on to anyone and I can’t think of a better way as I think that’s the best that they deserve! Thankyou for your truth and honesty and may our God bless you for spreading His message through His words. Linda xx
Whoa…seriously, God lead me to Google “should Christians read 50 Shades of Grey”…I was disappointed..BUT..I know that Dana is right. Thank you for this post and my disappointment comes from the fact that I have to stand on the outside and go against society..God calls us all to do uncomfortable stuff that is His will. Time after time, the Holy Spirit says…no..follow me and my ways…we have to be bold and speak the truth because that is what is needed to walk the walk. I use to really really like the Harry Potter series, now I am sure that God doesn’t want me to show them to my children. It is all the little moments of guidance that matters in parenting and I am definitely changing for the Lord. Thank you for this blog. May God bless all the women and men who stand up for what is glorifying Jesus.
Dana,
Thank you for the insight on this book. I understand what you are saying, and I fully support your opinion.
Thank you for making this point and getting this out there to women who care about getting closer to the Lord. I am an author and one of the reasons I started writing fiction for Christian women is because of all the deceptive secular novels out there, and also the the Christian novels that most sinners can’t relate to. I believe it’s important to focus even your leisure time reading on stories that edify Jesus Christ and help you learn more about His truth. If you’re looking for a new, Christian novel to read, perhaps to cleanse your soul’s pallet after reading 50 shades of grey, I’d love for you to check out my novel “Santos.” You can purchase it at amazon, barnesandnoble.com, or tatepublishing.com. God bless!
Andrea, I wanted to address a couple of things: first, I have known Dana for a long time and she is not one to be condescending at all, she knows that people would be offended, but was more concerned with being obedient to the Lord, than to being “popular with women”.
You are right- you can do exactly what you want to do, and it is none of my business, BUT I can tell this, if you have a relationship with Christ, then it is HIS business! You then have to commit to obeying his word. What i have learned is it doesn’t matter what I say or even what Dana says, but it does matter what The Lord says. In I Thessalonians 4:3-5 it says: it is GOD’s will that you should Be sanctified: that you should AVOID sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to CONTROL his own body in away that is HOLY and HONORABLE, not in a passionate lust like heathen, who do not know God.
The truth is, that the Lord our God loves us so much, that he gives us His word to hide in our heart to protect us from going down a path that is not good. These books may seem good, but they are not! If you are offended by what I have said, take it up with the Lord, it is his Word and conviction, not mine.
After reading the book Resolutions for Women by Priscilla Shirer, God convicted me of the same thing. To be careful what I read and watch that might seem acceptable according to many, but that He had called me to live a pure and holy life. Holy means set apart which means I don’t do things like everyone else. I have to be careful what I read, watch and hear because they do effect how you think about things.
Thank you for standing firm on what you know God has spoken to you.
Was so glad to read this. You summed up my feelings very well, with scripture to back it up!
Thank you for putting my grieving thoughts into words. My heart is so sadden by all the moms in my MOPS group who are jumping on the porn wagon.
Like you said,for non believers I expect no conviction, but not these women of God, I’m so disturbed and driven to pray pray pray
Dana, Well said. May God Bless you for speaking truth to So many women! I have heard several Christian women talking about this book and it crushed my spirit. I had a hard time just reading the reviews on it, I wanted to have an informed decision and stance on the reading material. I know for a fact it is incredibly inappropriate for Christian women. What goes IN will come OUT. How important it is for us as Christian women to guard our hearts, minds and emotions, for out of the heart spring the issues of life.
I agree 100% with everything you have said. The book is taking off like a rocket because it is tapping into an area of women’s sexuality, that for many women is bone dry. By reading books like this women create a false sense of reality, thinking their husbands can meet up to the ideas and standards that are portrayed in the book. And they CAN’T! Just like most of us won’t be in the next Playboy magazine. When men read junk like that, guess what? Women feel hurt. Why? Because the immediate feeling of knowing we cannot meet up to what those women look like damages our self worth and value. Christian ladies, you are a daughter of the MOST high KING! You are royalty, act like it! God has so much more for you than books like that! You want a spicy love story, read Song of Solomon! That is real love AND is blessed by God!
REMEMBER: Sin over promises, under delivers and NEVER satisfies. Sin always leaves you wanting more… Why else would there be three books… Another and another… Jesus is what satisfies you. Before you read any books, pray. Ask God to show you if you should even pick it up and read the cover. Even the slightest bit of doubt, don’t do it. Good rule of thumb, would you want your kids reading what you are reading? Watching the movies you are watching? If Jesus walked in your house today what would you be ashamed of?! What would you try to hide? Remove it, honor God! He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek HIM!
This is no way, shape or form to judge anyone, or point fingers. But I challenge you, ask God what to do. Remember a good tree brings forth GOOD fruit. What are you watering your tree with?
Thanks Dana for your boldness! Love you girl!
Just came across this blog as I was searching the internet for something that talked ‘against’ this book. I’m a 39 year old still single guy and am seeing a lot of comments on facebook of people raving about this book. I did a little research on it. Then I wanted to see what christians were saying about it, and found your blog. It’s nice to know there are still women out there that think like you do. Hopefully a single one will find her way to me
Great blog on this book!
I couldn’t agree any more!!!! You are right on target! I too, feel the same conviction! I’m not interested in any wedge to come between me and my relationship with God or my Husband! This is modern day Babylon stuff……and I don’t know about ya’ll, but when I see something like this cause such a stir, that’s my first indication to take a closer look before indulging. And it is PORN! Plain and simple….Just like most of us desire our husbands to have eyes only for us, we too, should have eyes only for our husbands. Engaging in such a read opens our minds up to so many unseen things, and this my friend, sets the stage for DECEPTION! The enemy is out to STEEL, KILL, and DESTROY! ……….He’s not about to steel my mind, to kill my joy (for my husband) just so he can try to destroy my marriage!!!! Nope, NOT ME!!!!
I am a Christian, and I think it’s worth noting that just because you read the book, it doesn’t mean you are going to do unholy things with your body or with your significant other. You can read it and take the story for a grain of salt – just like any other book. The Hunger Games discusses violence and the killing of children. Those are obviously sins too, but I don’t recall anyone being up in arms about that book. When all is said and done, it’s just a book. The way people choose to react to it is, of course, up to them and will say a lot about their character. Personally, I am confident enough in my beliefs and Christianity to not be “affected” by the book the way others claim to be. My husband and I are perfectly happy and our relationship has not benefited or suffered as a result of the book. And neither has my relationship with God. I do think it’s unfair for you to pass judgment on those who may be interested in reading it, because you shouldn’t assume that everyone will immediately start becoming sinful.
All in all, aren’t you giving it more attention by blogging about it? Just my two cents.
I have not even picked up the book, however, I have several friends who have and are raving about it on facebook. My gut said to run not walk far from it. I am so pleased with you writing exactly what I was wanting to say to those Christian friends. How in the world can I share your comentary on my facebook page?
But you’ve read the book before writing this critique yes?
Also – I didn’t realise that porn was spelt p o r n. Thanks for the heads up!
AMEN SISTA!!!! Everything you said is exactly how I feel. I am so shocked at how many women that I know who have read this book and are so “excited” about it and when you ask them about it they say “If you can ‘get past’ the sexual stuff it’s a REALLY good book”… REALLY???? I feel that it IS exactly the same as a woman finding a hidden stash of nudey mags or porn… It just goes against everything God has established for marriage…. Thank you for giving us your perspective on this book and I will be sharing!
As a Youth Minister and Husband I am do happy to read your blog. My wife Lauren turned me on to your blog. We as Christians can not buy into the lie that this is ok or harmless. It is 100% destructive. Stand firm and fight the good fight. If we bend and say this is ok then we tell our young girls it’s ok.
I am a God fearing, bible believing Christian woman and I have read all 3 books in the series. I respect and understand your opinions about the book. I personally loved the books, not for the sexual content but for the plot and love story behind it. I personally got a little bored with the sex scenes, which calm way down by the 2nd book. I dont think that it is “porn” and the reason being is I can read it without getting any sort of sexual arousal from it. Just like you can drink alcohol and enjoy drinking without taking it to something sinful like getting drunk. I am happily married and in no way did I expect My husband to act as this fictional character in the book. Just as I enjoy a good romantic comedy that may have sex scenes in it, I felt the same for the book. I do know everyone is not like me and some may let it become sinful. I think it should be left up to the individual, if it violates your conscience you shouldn’t read it, but don’t push your convictions on people who just enjoy reading romantic novels which include sex. Yes there is a lot of sex in the book but there is a sweet love story in it as well. I do believe that its possible to read it without letting it affect your relationship with God. It had no affect on my life because it’s a fictional book, just a story I read and enjoyed. I love Jesus, my husband and family and that’s not going to be affected by some trilogy that happens to describe sex in detail. Sorry that’s just me
I just wanted to say, I didn’t agree with you until about half way through, I read the twilight series and during my reading found myself actually falling for the character and wishing my husband could be more like him… so yes, you are right in everything you said, thanks for sharing
Just as I get a chill everytime the Twilight series comes up, 50 Shades, Magic Mike and the likes scares me to death… With Twilight it was, “But they are GOOD vampires.” Now it’s, “I feel so liberated.” It all sounds too much like, “But this is GOOD fruit, Eve. It will LIBERATE you.”
I have not read the books but every time I hear about them, especially when Christian women were sharing, I felt really, really convicted for them in my heart and feel disappointed because I knew these books did not glorify our Lord. I’ve wanted to speak out but didn’t have exact ammunition. So, I wanted to do a little research and found your blog through Google and I cannot thank you enough for writing what Jesus instructed you to share. Thank you for heeding the voice of our Lord.
Ladies… if it is a story of love and loss, joy and heartache you are looking for then let me recommend the trilogy on the wives of King David by Jill Eileen Smith. They are FICTION NOVELS… She doesn’t try to pass it off as fact but they are riveting. You will find yourself looking at Michel, Abigail, and Bathsheba in a different light!
I never comment on blogs or posts like this, but after reading it & the comments, I feel compelled to. I have been a christan for a long time, but I am beginning to realize that I don’t think about God in everything I do. God is leading me on a path to fix this, to be more selective in every aspect of my life. I am in no means perfect, & have read this series. I flew through all 3 books. at the time I LOVED them…. but am slowly seeing God open my eyes. I still truely loved the story, but feel a lot of the sex could have been left out. I will say this tho, this book truely did bring me & my husband closer together. being a mother of two young boys & being on anti depressants, lets just say there were parts of our life that were lacking! & these books brought us closer together. I feel like I am at a place in my life where god is trying to show me right & wrong & feel that this is a area in my life that needs work. I wanted to be angry when I first read this blog, but after I read it again & the comments, I feel differnt. I do want to say that it saddens me how much we are judging others. if I weren’t a christan & saw this & lots of the other blogs people have written on this topic, I wouldnt feel comfortable going to church with that person. I think we need to realize this too.
Thank you for taking a stand against this book series. I feel that it is in fact a direct attack from Satan. I mentioned on a social network that I am opposed to this book, and I was shocked at the amount of Christian women that are reading it! And the first thing they have to say is “Don’t judge me”….Are we forgetting that the verse Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” As Christians we are called to keep each other accountable….out of love not judgement. Taking a stand against this book is COURAGEOUS, not judgmental. We also have to remember that people who are not Christians are completely blind to why there is anything wrong with this book, which can be frustrating and even painful to watch them settle for less than they were created for. Regardless, even Christians will read this and try to justify it. But if we are truly trying to be more like Christ on a daily basis, I CAN NOT see how this book fits into a Christians lifestyle. I am truly worried…..and we need to fall to our knees in prayer over these sweet women, that their eyes will be opened and their hearts will be healed. God intended sex to be beautiful, and Satan has taken it and twisted it and it is hard for any of us to not fall into the lies. I have just recently realized how damaged I am from my past sexual experiences, and the images that will forever be in my mind and I am still healing and didn’t realize it was damaging me at the time(almost 10 years ago now). The passion and “true LOVE STORY” God wants us to experience is far better than anything wrapped up in a pretty package and disguised as “innocent” or “just a story”. We as believers are called to have sex and do it well man! We don’t need 50 shades of anything, we have song of Solomon! We are in the world but not of the world. Let’s act like it! We don’t need petty books to hide in our heart and find our treasure in… Just like Paul says in Romans, do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. We should be striving for fruit in our lives and showing the world we don’t need the things they find temporary satisfaction. Why would anyone want to worship the God you worship when you have to chase after the same things they do?
Thanks so much for sharing. I wholeheartedly agree. God bless you!
I never comment on blogs. Thank you so much for posting this. I was out of state for missions for six months. I never saw these books before I left, and when I came back, they are everywhere. I am an avid reader. I love Harry Potter and the Hunger Games (hate Twilight!). I had no idea what they were about, and I was researching them. I am so glad I found your page! I want to walk in a life of purity, and a life completely honoring to God.
The bible says that we were bought with a price! As women, we have GOT to protect our minds! Because if we leave our thought unguarded, our emotions will quickly follow.
I recommend Redeeming Love by Francien Rivers. Epic romance novel!!!
Thank you again for being open and honest about this series! You have prevented a fellow sister (whom you have never met!!) from stumbling!
I loved your blog on this book. I posted it to my fb page. We live in a world where this is acceptable and I do not accept it at all! I have a few friends that have read it and I am not ok with it and I wanted to take a stand!! We are women and our minds are wired differently then men who are very visual! I do not understand why women cannot see that it is the SAME thing! It IS porn for women’s minds. It down right makes me so angry at our ememy and his horrible schemes. Thank you for posting-
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have helped me to realize how weak my response has been to those who are raving about this book series. You have also convicted me to be more vocal. God bless you.
Thank you so much for posting this blog Dana. I only heard about this series of books a couple of weeks ago and soon noticed so many people on Facebook were talking about it. I didn’t have a clue what it was about, so I googled it and read a summary on Wikipedia. My instant reaction was “this is pornography”! It seemed to me that this is nothing but the devil’s work, disguised as an angel of light, sent to steal, kill and destroy. What concerns me most (and why I decided to check out what all the fuss is about) is that my daughter decided she would buy the book just because everyone was talking about it, without even knowing what it was about! She is not a Christian, so will not see it from my perspective, but I can see the effect it is having on her relationship with her husband, which apparently is amazing. The same can be said for my niece and no doubt many other young girls in the same situation. I would ask all Christians who agree with what I most people posting on this blog believe, to join together to pray and seek God’s help in keeping the courage of our convictions. My comments are intended for Christians who know God and understand where I’m coming from. No offence whatsoever is intended to anyone.
Thank you for you’re words! All I hear about at work is these books and I find it sad and disturbing how popular they are. I reas one excerpt and that was too much for me. God gave us standards to keep us from getting hurt and from hurting others. we need to respect that and stand against books like this.
Um. Is there a link between the main character “Christian” Gray, his intention of subordinating the other main character and this line from Corinthians? “As in all the churches of the holy ones, women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not allowed to speak, but should be subordinate, as even the law says. But if they want to learn anything, they should ask their husbands at home. For it is improper for a woman to speak in the church. (1 Corinthians 14:33-35 NAB)
I am writting this with tears in my eyes and such heartache you can’t believe. I cannot believe what is happening. Satan is alive and well – he has snagged our daughter thru this book.
Even Satan used scripture to tempt Jesus. The name of the character or the analogy does not excuse the blatant immorality of these books. You can’t drink a glass of water with a drop of poison in it.
Thank you for your Post.
I seldom watch the news/TV. I was clueless to the subject matter of this book (or books) my wife was reading. She is often reading a book. Usually books by James Dobson/FotF, The Shack, Dr. Laura, etc.
What sparked my interest was the book swapping that began with other Christian women. I inquired after I picked up on the clandestine nature of it all. I was told “We are not to tell our husbands we are reading it.” That ALONE is cause for my concern! How would wives like husbands doing something secretly they “were not supposed to tell their wives” !!! And I am not talking about Christmas shopping.
I didn’t like it at first, I had mixed emotions really. The secrecy, to me, was being dishonest. It was peer pressure that initiated it, I don’t like that. But, if that’s the worst thing she keeps from me (and I think it is), I can live with her absorbing some steamy verbiage from time to time.
We have discussed it, she knows and understands how I feel. I understand how she fells. It is opportunity for some occasional healthy ribbing. Communication and not hiding things from your mate, is my take away. She is reading something more innocuous now.
Dana, I understand and appreciate your view. However as a 50+ male, married 30+ years, I feel there is room for some “interesting content” to be shared in a relationship. I am still not sure the extent of bondage or rough content in this book series. From what my wife has shared, her discussing it as she read it may have proven a positive. She did say she skipped some parts. It may be P o r n as you say. I will not read it, so I can not evaluate that. But, from what I have read, obviously not a book for new Christians of Young couples.
I do appreciate your Post, I just felt like sharing my slant. Somewhat cathartic maybe!
)
DH
note: the lead character name does create search confusion.
Hi there! I just wanted to let you know that I do not know you or even follow your blog but I typed “Should I read 50 Shades of Grey Christian” in the search box and found this post…. I am so glad I did. Your message really reached me and I will NOT be reading this book. I strive to be a loving, woman of God… a true Proverbs 31 woman. This book does not support that. Thank you for your post! You have bettered me and strengthen my walk with the Lord is your few words. God blass you!
Hey.. Errrm this was really interesting, as a woman who read these books I never really thought of how this review would changed my mind about them well not changed but made me open my mind to them. Yeah I see what you meen I sat for like 3 days doing nothing just constantly reading soo addicted to the feelings of love and stuff the “made up people” where going though, wanting more and more and getting so involved in the story so yes
thanks for this . review … Kellie 19 Ireland 
x. X
Have you read the book to know its like porn? Im guessing not!!!the book is very cell written and the author should be very proud of herself . It’s a great story about a girl telling us how she is feeling and how her telationship blossoms. Yeh some of the things she discribed are kinky but so what! Show me where the pics are that turns it onto porn????
Hiii I read the book also kinda agree on the relationship growing part! I do massively love the story.. But saying its taking away from your husband is ridiculous I think its only weak minded people who will see them selfs with the “charming amazing rich’ man. have everything. When reality you have to work at it
x
I did have the displeasure of reading a very small portion of it and was horribly unsettled in my spirit because of it.
Pictures do not make it pornography. SEXUAL CONTENT makes it porn.
(And I do want to reiterate, I was writing this to CHRISTIAN women, I do so hope it is NOT Christian women here speaking so rudely in reply.)
Yes and amen. I just had a debate about this with the ladies in the nail salon. Surprisingly I was the youngest. I was the only one who had not started to read this book. Thank you for blogging about it though it may not be the most popular opinion.
I agree with Mary’s post from June 30th.
I am wishing I could post this somehow on my Facebook for all of those I love to read … Well said! I applaud you for your outspoken, Christ Centered, Biblical response to this sin epidemic that has taken over the minds of many. Satan is crafty, and as the father of lies, he is using our own fleshly desires to further decay our families! Again, well said and God Bless!
I went on a search for a “Christian perspective” of this book and to my dismay I found very few that actually said exactly what my heart was thinking. I am amazed at people in my life that are reading this book and can’t see it for what it is. Thank you for putting into words exactly what my heart was thinking.
thats right its ok for men to have there porn but god forbid women read a book about sex…Christianity is fading out anyway…get with the. times
All I have to say is AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are many “Christians” who do far worse things than read a book as intriguing as this… Open your mind. There’s more to the world and life than what’s in your narrow mind. Seriously, it’s a fictional book and if you read more than what you have found on Google about it you would find the characters inside have much more depth than mere porn stars…
Thank you! I find myself pretty alone in sharing this conviction with you. It has been suggested to my teenage daughter, it has been suggested to me by our neighbor, and whenever I say that it’s not for me, I am met with arguments in every side. Sad to see so many women rushing into a terrible pollution of the soul. More people need to keep mind that Eve originally dined in order to be “liberated”.
It’s funny how “non Christians” for want of a better phrase, are happy to share their opinions on a Christian blog, but expect us Christians to keep our opinions to ourselves! I’m NOT being judgemental here, just expressing my opinion which I have a right to do. The only reason I looked for and found this page was because I wanted to discuss this book which I felt was not right from a Christian perspective, with people who were like-minded. Thank God that the majority of people are Christians with varying opinions, but not judging each other. While I respect the views of fellow Christians who see nothing wrong with the book, I really just cannot understand why people who do not have our faith feel the need to comment on something that is not really intended for them.
I am shocked by the women who said these books are not porn. I read them all, my friends have read them, so I can say with all authority that they are porn! If it were made into a movie, exactly how the book is written, it wouldn’t be a movie you’d see at a regular theater! Your blog is great, Dana!
Dana, I read this a while ago but came back because of all the hype. I have to say that of course I agree with you. As you know, I am a Christian. I walk a fine line from time to time because of books like this and other things that come up. You inspire me all the time to do better. I understand someone’s attraction to the book, there is so much hype but I have no interest in this book and your posting backed up my feelings on this. It makes me think of the movie Fireproof.
I just wanted to thank you for the respectful tone you used. I personally have not felt convicted about these books and do disagree with some points, but as a sister in Christ I am so thankful and proud of your prevailing message to diligently seek God when making these decisions. It is refreshing to see your perspective without a condemning tone. Thank you!
Kiss me tenderly!
Your love is better than wine,
and you smell so sweet.
All the young women adore you;
the very mention of your name
is like spreading perfume.
* * Hurry, my king! Let’s hurry.
Take me to your home. <-<-
"Pictures do not make it porn content makes it porn"
With all kindness this passage is the Song of Song 1:2-4 if we keep reading we will find what most of us are calling porn.
LET ME MAKE MY SELF CLEAR!!
I am not saying that the 50 trilogy is anything like or to do with the Bible.
Respect and appricate your opinion Dana!
I needed us all to look at the whole picture sometime conforming to the " Christian" way is just as bad a conforming the the world.
Very proud you did what was laid on your heart. This was laid on mine. Blessings
Thank you! I have been contemplating reading this book, but for some unknown reason felt like I shouldn’t. Now I know why.
To develop an emotional connection to any other man aside from your husband is adultery. Whether that man is fictional or not, 50 shades of gray or porn from the adult book store, a co worker at work or your ‘best guy friend’. Great Post Dana
Amen! Well said! It is disturbing that this is the #1 book seller in the nation right now. Just another example of where our country as a whole is at morally/spiritually! I kept hearing several of my female co-workers raving on and on about this book, so much that I decided to look it up and was really saddened that this book has gained so much popularity. Even more saddened to hear some of my Christian co-workers, as well as a couple of church members speak so highly of it. You are right, it is porn no matter how you “dress it up”. We, as Christians, need to continue to pray for our society, for our nation!
Well said Lori! My feelings exactly. What I found strange was that my daughter, and no doubt many others, bought the book on the strength of the fact that everyone was reading it, without even finding out what it was about. I have to stress she doesn’t know the Lord, so I don’t say anything to condemn her. My point is, if that’s the way this tidal wave has spread, it must be the devil’s work.
The devil is in those books! They make people lust!
Let’s burn them!!!
I’m a bit puzzled at the level of negativity in some of the comments. This blog post was never hostile. It seems as though in todays world you cannot express your view or opinion without it being considered offensive anymore.
There have been quite a few here who say everyone needs to lighten up and realize the good things about these books, and that as long as it has a good story that the rest of the stuff isn’t so bad. To me that is like the guy saying he gets playboy to read the articles. From the perspective of a husband; I would be just as bothered about my wife reading this as she would be of me looking at porn.
I try so hard not to read the comments on anything but recipes, people are so discouraging. People will say many hurtful words to protect the sin they truly love. I wish I’d read this a few years ago when I had a stack of Cosmo magazines in my closet. If only I’d know what I thought was educating and liberating me was actually taking away from what I enjoy with my husband now. So often we want to know how much of what our flesh loves we can get away with, but scripture is clear:
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. (Ephesians 5:3 NIV)
I shared this link with my friends from facebook, all of which loved this blog. I had one friend send me a private message regarding it, saying that she had been reading the book, but had a tiny feeling that it wasn’t the right thing for her to do, and by me sharing this blog she knew it was an answer to her confusion. I told her I appreciated her letting me know in private and I wasn’t on my high horse by posting it by any means, I just felt like sometimes people are on different levels of how they respond to that gentler nudge from God and sometimes things like this are just a confirmation of what their heart is already telling them. “Dana” I just want to say, nothing but good responses from my sharing of this blog. Thanks once again!
I shared this with people on twitter and I was sliced to pieces! Not in the sense that I couldn’t defend what I believed but most disagreed completely and these people are professing Christians. I’m not surprised because I’m not here to preach a popular message. I preached it in LOVE as best I could. But I felt their hearts hardening even more towards God. Please stand with me in prayer that this wont be the case. Thank You. Much love!! God Bless
Thankyou for this.:)
Bravo! I am so happy to call you a Sister in Christ. This world needs more people like you who are not afraid to preach the truth. As a Theology Major, I think you proved your point biblically and very sound. Your post made my day!
Pastor Steven Dodd
http://pastordodd.com
First I would like to say I cannot believe how cruel some people can be. It is one thing to discuss our opinions as adults but when we start getting rude it’s like were in highschool again, grow up. Second I have read all three books in the series. I googled this because I wanted some Christian feedback about the series. I completly agree with Mary’s post from June 30th but this post and some of the comments made me realize that although I did not desire to do any of the things the couple did in this book I did get a little obsessed with it. I read all three in about a week. Actually I am an avid reader and get obsessed with any book I read. I believe God is speaking to me about how much time I spend reading things that are not honoring to him. As a Christian woman I will continue to pray about this. To the non christians that are posting about this blog, remember this woman is simply stating her opinion, which she has a right to do. If your offended by it then you should not be reading a site that was intended for Chrisitan woman. Or perhaps you feel a little guilty and lashing out is your way of dealing.
Great stuff, Dana! I tried to just read these posts to give me insights in dealing with this subject as needed. But when I saw the post comparing a romance novel to Song of Songs in the Bible….well, I just had to come up for air on that one. I would expect an atheist or agnostic to throw such a wrench in the works, but not someone who writes as a believer and should know what Song of Songs represents. I’m gathering that this novel is NOT about a husband and wife growing in their love and sexual appetite for each other.
The Song of Solomon, on the other hand, is a lyric poem inspired by God and written to extol the virtues of love between a husband and his wife. It’s the expression of the powerful beauty God created in sexuality between husband and wife. The poem clearly presents marriage as God’s design. A man and woman are to live together and enjoy intimacy within the context of marriage — loving each other spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Song of Songs takes the form of a dialogue between a husband (the king) and his wife (the Shulamite). The book represents three parts to this love: the courtship (1:1 – 3:5); the wedding (3:6 – 5:1); and the maturing marriage (5:2 – 8:14).
This book is also designed to show us the middle between two unhealthy extremes: asceticism (the denial of all pleasure) and hedonism (pursuing only pleasure). The marriage described in Song of Songs is a relationship of care, commitment, and delight. If you need to spice up your marriage, I suggest reading Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) along with your spouse. Be reminded of what HE designed it to be. There is nothing pornographic about God’s letter of intimacy between a husband and wife. It is God’s design and desire for your marriage! PORN is anything literary or visual that precludes that powerful bond HE designed for you and your spouse. What a great gift HE gave us!!!
Dana- thanks for sparking a great discussion. I love being affirmed in what my heart knows as the truth. Can I encourage you not to continue to respond to the comments you see as rude or negative? It distracts from the truth you are sharing. You were more than clear and completely sincere in your original post.
Dana..came on line after work tonight to see if Christian sites such as Plugged In had reviewed the book but found nothing. Your review was the first I found. I echo a lot of the sentiments posted here and totally agree with your post. Everytime I go in to my break room for lunch, a different woman is reading this book. I had made myself aware of the content and synopsis of the story in order to engage in conversation should it arise using discernment (I am an avid reader but didn’t want to read it given the content). Now the women I work with are not believers but I do wonder how many women who are believers are also reading this book and not making the same realisation that it IS porn. I came to that conclusion tonight while sitting there..would this woman be happy if a guy sat in our break room openly reading and S&M magazine? Thanks for your honesty and critique. It makes you wonder what is lacking in these women, what are they searching for that the enemy is drawing them to this book? He has his ‘hook’ in there and the book is the bait. This book is a good intro in to a conversation where we can be explicit sharing the Gospel. I asked the woman tonight who was reading it, some key questions just about why she liked the book, what draws her to it, etc., Have other Christian women here experienced the same thing with what seems like every woman around them reading this book??
So totally confused by all of your perspective(s)… “The Relationship” in the book is between two consenting adults… hello???????? That is NOT pornography.
After hearing so many people raving about this book I went on Google to find a christian review about it. I found your blog post and am now convinced that it is not something that I should read. Sure, I wouldn’t repeat the behaviors in the book, and would realize it is fiction, but why even read things that are so against God’s commands? Satan is sneaky and like the song says “It’s a slow fade…”. Thank you for your post, I will continue my search for something worthwhile to read on our upcoming family camping trip!
Interesting post, but I must say, I have come across a handful of people who feel as you do and I think it is wrong. I don’t believe pornography is wrong. The naked body is beautiful, and the acts that it partakes in are sacred, religious or not.
Moreso I think it is wrong of you, and to the others I have see who have posted things like this to make other people feel ashamed of reading the novels.
Sex is a wonderful and personal thing. Is it wrong for me to dress in lingerie and seduce my husband? No. Its it wrong for me to takr naughty pictures for him? No. That, too, is pornography and there is nothing wrong with that, even if god tells you so.
At the end of the day, its your choice, I respect that, but you need to respect others in their choices to partake in these readings, christian or not.
I’m sorry for the crude analogy, but it seems fitting: Religion is like a penis, my friend. Just because you have one, doesn’t mean we want you to whip it out and show it to everyone.
I’m quite fed up with people being so judgmental with how other people choose to spend their time. I’m happy for you that you have found a virtuous path that does not include sexual readings, but for those who have, please leave them be.
Read books by Robin Jones Gunn. I’m a thirty something and love her Glennbrooke series. It makes me want to seek God and his will for my life, find christian girlfriends to fellowship with and draws my heart back in love with the Lord as well as draw me closer to my husband. I read the Christy Miller series (for teens) when I was a teenager and bought the books recently for my ‘future’ teenager. I re-read them and found myself amazed that God used that book to heal some broken places in my heart from my teen years. ‘Friends’ that you meet in the teen book you get to learn more about in the Glenbrooke series. It’s nice to be able to get snippets about girlfriends from the first book in the later books and see how their lives intertwine. I haven’t made it to the Sisterchicks books yet and think I might save those for my older years but who knows. I’m in need of some new material!
“So totally confused by all of your perspective(s)… “The Relationship” in the book is between two consenting adults… hello???????? That is NOT pornography.”
I don’t think you understand the definition of pornography. Pornography is not someone forcing themselves on someone else. A graphic video two adults having consensual sex can still be pornography.
You are right the it is between to consenting adults. Why should I have an interested in knowing the details of another couples personal sex life. It can lead to zero positives, but has the potential for plenty of negatives.
Bahaha, its a book. Not, an abomination. Your religion, has nothing to do with it. & honestly, you sound like a Boaring twat. maybe if you actually read this book, you’d add some spice to your life
I totally and definitely agree with you Dana. Thanks for posting this. And to add as well, we should not compromise— “You shall love the Lord your God with ALL your heart and with ALL your soul and with ALL your strength and with ALL your mind…”
There should be no room for not being right with God. So for all of us brothers and sisters in Christ, let us all pray for each other that by God’s love, mercy and grace we will endure whatever the enemy is desperately trying to do to attack us and to let us fall out of grace that we may run the race victoriously until He comes. God bless!
For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear.
2 Timothy 4:3
Everything you said is true, but most people don’t believe in the God of the Bible. If they did, they would fear God’s judgement.
Basically, they follow the secular principal that any action involving consenting adults is OK.
Assuming that the Bible is the word of God, the vast mass of humanity, past, present, and future are lost.
Don’t forget that many generations of humanity have come and gone. The issue of salvation no longer applies to them. For them the issue has been settled for all eternity.
Even the Bible states that the road to salvation is found by very few.
I did a search for “what do Christians say about 50 shades of grey” and your blog popped up. Thank you for your stance and for not being ashamed to proclaim it. We Christian women need to support and encourage each other. These books tear down the very foundation of our marriages – intimacy with our spouse. Satan has to be thrilled that these books do damage to many marriages and relationships. Let’s be bold and proud to tell others why we feel that God is dishonored when we read this trash! And let’s have mercy and show grace to those who are confused.
Compared to the pharmaceutical lifestyle religious and non religious women have adopted (go ahead and count the number of bottles in your house), stimulating the mind using cognitive skills through reading seems like a healthy choice.
I haven’t read the book yet, however, based on the reaction from otherwise responsible women, it seems to have more positive than negative effects… Is this book self destructive?
Finally this book is nothing more than the flavor of the month, and such controversial media have existed since the beginning of recorded history… Many of those paintings in museums were once considered pornographic.
Don’t be serious,
Like a shocking number of persons you see nothing wrong with young people being showered with pornography.
Girls between the ages of 13 and 18 are reading this book, a book describing a man who is sadistic, and the female character loves the man’s sadism.
You may not realize it, but woman are routinely attracted to domineering men. It’s called the “bad boy syndrome”.
The question is:
Do you want to feed that sick attraction that routinely operates in woman?
Thank you so much for this blog. It seems today it is very unacceptable, when we stand up for Christ and HIS teachings. As Christians we are called to “judge” ,not people, but what we allow the world to place in our hearts. Christ said, ” if you so much as look at a women with lust…you have committed adultery.”
These books are plain and simple an attack on our spiritualism. To bring us to more worldly selfish pleasure. Respect and honor your marriage, and your spouse, and God will put true passion in your “love making”.
God bless you Dana! I too have felt God put the issue of these books upon my heart, so I sought a Christian perspective online. Like others, I found your blog. I have since read other similar blogs also written with great articulation and eloquence, but yours spoke to me first. I am a woman who goes to great lengths to avoid controversy and confrontation—less said, best said. (Online debate often turns into the low blows of a Jerry Springer show.) Then I remember Edmund Burke’s quote: “All that’s necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men (or women) to do nothing.” So I applaud your brave efforts to share your convictions. We are taught to have courage of our convictions. Most who say this omit the: but only if it doesn’t oppose or conflict with my views part. You clearly did not seek debate, but it is a casualty of conflict. Onward, Christian soldier…as it states in Ephesians, “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Dana, don’t let negative responses dissuade you in your good works.
Most everyone I know has read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. My righteous indignation is fired up over the attitudes and irreverence connected with these books, and so far my response has been to avoid discussion for fear of being labeled judgmental. It is a convenient sound bite to turn, “Judge not, that ye be not judged” against others when it serves us. In life, we can make judgment calls about behavior and activities without persecuting people. Love the sinner, not the sin—“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I don’t think myself better than any person, but I know that these books and what they represent are FAR beneath me. If a loved one shows poor judgment (heavy drinking, gambling, etc.) or a child needs redirecting from inappropriate behavior; wouldn’t one, out of love and concern, try to dissuade them? Dana, your blog clearly is written with love and concern for others. If someone feels judged or ashamed, an inner conscience will have to hold claim to that. No one (at any age) likes being told what to do or having a mistake pointed out because it can feel like a personal attack. So our pride (one of the 7 deadly) encourages a knee-jerk reaction to rebel/lash out/shift blame, because to admit a fault makes us vulnerable. Being vulnerable takes a certain strength and maturity. How brave and admirable would it be for women to stand up and say, “Yeah, in a weak moment I followed the “popular” crowd and tried something that in my heart I know I am FAR TOO GOOD to be a part of, but that’s history. I quickly realized I have too much self-respect, and prefer being adored by my man and treated like the AMAZING and honorable creation that God made me!” That, by the way, is my fantasy.
Specifically addressing these books…I don’t honestly believe there is as much confusion as to whether Fifty Shades of Grey is pornography or not as people submit. I went to several dictionary sources to define pornography. The consensus is: obscene or lewd writings, descriptions, or images of explicit sexual activity for sexual arousal–seems clear to me. (Fine art or the Song of Songs does not fit this explanation at all) So the real question has to do with perspectives on what is obscene or lewd. Who or what has to be involved for something to become lewd? Oh yes, anything goes as long as it involves two “consenting” adults. Two consenting adults can’t be wrong—really? Two adults can consent/agree to steal—lie—cheat—commit violence…so, that theory needs rethinking.
Some claim the books have helped their sex lives. These books aren’t PhD endorsed marital advice or the sex tips of a medical expert. These are fan-fiction books written by a woman who herself stated, “This is my midlife crisis…all my fantasies.” A fictitious story about a college kid seduced into a sadomasochistic relationship is what it takes to bring you closer with your partner…really? The media markets these books as “Mommy porn”. Putting the word mommy in front of the word porn makes it cute? The fact that it is written by a woman targeting women somehow gives this validity? Remember when porn was socially unacceptable? Now, thanks to the defamation and degradation of society, pop culture has little-by-little fed it into our psyche so it seems pedestrian. To me, it’s a bad dream. When I was 6, I experienced the shock and awe of being shown a Playboy by some older kids. That has a very familiar feel (wide-eyed whispers & giggles) to the reactions from women over these books, but I digress.
Finally, your blog Dana is wonderful. If you put conviction in even one heart, you’ve done a blessed thing. The subject matter clearly strikes a nerve (with me for sure) and all sides of the issue. To me, the strife and division it’s causing is just one more way our clever and crafty enemy is using it for his purposes. There is a lot of scripture on discernment, and our world needs it desperately “…for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.” For the secular readers, whom you didn’t intend to address…putting morality & religion aside—there are other social conventions to consider. What about class, dignity, good taste, propriety, being a lady, or being a person of substance and virtue? Women have gone from We’ve come a long way baby (Egalitarian thought) to Laters, baby (Submission & the male character’s catch phrase—progress???). I’ll say an extra prayer for you Dana; keep up the good work. And, I’ll pray that God continues to place convictions of respect and self worth on women’s hearts.
If I am not even dedicated to reading my bible then how could I even consider reading this? I admit I have been tempted to read it but have refrained from doing so. Even men find this man’s behavior and mentality apalling and wonder how women can be attracted to this kind of behavior-I think after hearing a few mens perspective on TV it was a done deal in my mind to stay away from this kind of reading material. Thanks for posting.
Thank you for posting this. I totally agree. I also really appreciate how you handled the comment section in regards to negative attacks. It upsets me how people fly off the handle and immediately attack my character for my opinion. It happened yesterday over something which should not offend anyone, and I was completely caught off guard. Thank you for being courageous an speaking the truth in the midst of our culture.
I stumbled across your blog in searching for information on the book, people are talking about it everywhere. I am a Christian woman and had no idea that it involved such vulgar, and I absolutely agree that this book isjust another form of porn in a hidden package. Thank you for you post.
I 100% agree. Great job!
I just heard about this book on Rush Limbaugh’s show this morning and looked for a Christian viewpoint. I am glad to find you, Dana, and your thoughtful comments. I don’t plan to read the book now that I understand what it is about. I appreciate having the Christian perspective clearly stated here.
I think the reason it has become such a big deal is that it is anti-feminist in nature; anti–woman is “on top,” anti–woman is stronger than man, etc. It is a reaction to the fakery of the movies with women beating up men using violence to solve problems, etc. I am sure it is the novelty and yet more realistic view of the relationship between men and women. Possibly it is giving women “permission” to be submissive after years of brain washing. It is, if I see it correctly, a perverted and sad confusion of the relationship between men and women and even though it is a pendulum reaction to the lesbian-tinged feminist mystique it adds a sad deviance to the normal sexual relationship.
Thank you! I found your post when I googled for something to post on Facebook for my Vhristian friends. I was hoping someone had written just what you did to save me some time! Lol! It’s perfect! And needed to be said! Carry on!
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Phillipians 4: 8
I imagine the Lord’s heart is so very grieved at what our society has become. All I can say is “Come, Lord Jesus!”
I’ve been hearing the title of this book trickling through the grapevine, so decided to look it up. I’m shocked, especially when I hear my Christian friends talking about it so openly. We tend to blind-sighted to the fact that this is pornography since there are no pictures, and yet God created women’s minds to be very creative and imaginative. We don’t need pictures. So thank you for this review! I really appreciate your openness and honesty.
Wonderful statements and spot on. I hope that you, and others, continue to spread the Word. This fallen world certainly needs it.
I have heard about this book. A non Christian friend of mine raved about it and then almost the same week another lady I know that claims to be a Christian gave the same compliments about the book. *_* Though I have been saved since age of 7 my personal issue I deal with is in my mind, even been reading The Mind is a Battlefield by Joyce Meyer (I think I got the title right..it’s across the house and I don’t feel like going to double check LOL) and so I think I better stay away from this book. Don’t want to even look at the can of worms know what I mean? : ) Thanks for this post BTW. God bless! – Meghan
Thank you for speaking the truth!
Amen!
Thank you so much for writing this! I have been trying to encourage some of my christian friends who are reading this book (and i for the life of me cannot understand that) to not read this book.. but yet they still are reading these books.. it’s so disheartening and they only say “we are not to judge” but i am not judging them i’m trying to help them see it is wrong!
Thank you!! Some of the women I work with are reading and talking about this book. Some of them are professing Christians. This grieves me. I am posting this on my facebook page. I pray that those who read it will see and understand that this is TRUTH! thank you again!!
Hey, i was sitting at work the other night and about six of my female colleagues (40-50 yo) started discussing this book. They were talking about how they love and hate to read it at the same time. So I googled the plot and was gutted to find what kinds of themes it contained.
God really opened my eyes to the “written p o r n” issue a few years back and this stuff just makes me sadder and sadder at the levels of base-ness we are going to and that we enjoy! Dana your post is right on the spot. I think the enemy is sucking women in left, right, and centre on this issue – Christian or not, and sadly it seems graphic sex is now a mandatory component of a bestselling novel. I would not recommend this book to anyone.
50 Shades is a big topic with so many women on Facebook had to find out what it’s all about. Was glad to stumble upon your blog. Christian women and men both need to guard their sexual purity, including from any form of pornography. It’s sad to know so many Christian men have struggled with porn, and that for much of society porn is a normal and even celebrated part of being a man. And it seems like women (Christian or not) are trying to catch up with men on making porn a part of their lives through things like the book 50 Shades or the movie Magic Mike. Had one friend on FB post about “having a date that night with Matthew McConaughey”. Wonder how that made her husband feel. Probably the same way she feels when he went to a bachelor party and watched some 18 year old woman strip for money. God designed sex for marriage, for physical and emotional arousal and intimacy to remain between husband and wife. I wish a loving fellow believer in Christ would have told me that long ago. But unfortunately the porn my wife and I watched together to spice up our sex life eventually lead to a desire on her part to have an open marriage, and a messy divorce.
Okay, so here goes…Dana openly said that her post was for Christians, not for non-Christians, therefore if you are of the latter of the two, then no comment from you is needed AT ALL! As far as the very nasty things people have said about Dana for the view she has is completly unnessecary, really people. And as far as that goes, some of those people who have the nasty comments are hiding behind “anonymous” that is just plain wrong, you feel it is important to say your mean things, then do it with true heart, own up to what you believe…just like Dana did. I, for one, have yet to read the book and when and if the time comes that I want to read it, I will take it to the Lord and search for His will for me then. I never post comments, until now- all these vial attacks on this wonderful women, whom I do not even know, is just wrong. We are entitled to our own opinions, and yes, if you can be nice then post it. There are many Christian women who have posted comments and KINDLY explained their view point in a very Godly way, and they do not agree with Dana, however they are still examples by the way that they handled themselves. All in all, do as you know is right, if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all. Also to the post who states Christianity is fading out, REALLY, really-keeping thinking that if you would like, I for one hope you are WRONG about that because to me, that comment alone makes me very happy Dana did as she did, to prove to people that Christianity is not fading out and it is okay to take a stand and not compermise oneself for others.
To Dana, you have done amazing at not commenting on the negative comments, I just want to encourage you on this
Luke 6:27-28 “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which depitefully use you.”
Go with the Lord Dana, and may you ever be richly blessed for the TRUE example that you are.
Thank you for this post. I had heard lots of great things about the book, reviews, and how it even helped relationships.
I, however, feel that God would not want me to read this book or it’s successors, and I thank you for your blog.
I have read many romance/erotic novels in my life…and recently gave them up. This time, before deciding to read this book I wanted a Christian’s perspective about it. I struggled with porn for a while after finding out that my husband had been watching it,,, I felt like I wasn’t enough for him…so I decided to watch it to figure out what pornl stars had that I didn’t. All that did was make me feel worthless… I since have given up that part of my life…and anytime I feel tempted I run as far as I can in the opposite direction.
Your post has helped keep me on track with the Lord….and I want to thank you for that.
Thanx for this!! Up to chapter 5 in book because everyone is telling me to get it, felt a bit doubtful if its the right kinda thing to be reading… Realise that the doubt is actually the holy spirit warning me! Thankyou for confirming that it’s not right and that I’m not alone in this battel with the fleshly desire to want to read the book!! Thankyou Lord for your impact through others!!
I am a Christian woman and I fell for this. At the time while reading it, I honestly saw nothing wrong with it what-so-ever. I will be completely honest with all of you, I am sad to admit that my faith has been lacking a lot these past several months. I haven’t been attending church regularly since March, I rarely pick up my Bible to read anymore, I don’t have discussions about the Books in the Bible with my friends like I used to. And I was the one in my relationship with my boyfriend who was very quick to judge him for his addiction to p o r n o g r a p h y . I remember how it made me feel when I first discovered it; worthless, not good enough, belittled, ugly, etc… I was completely heart broken. His addiction went on for a while, and I stuck by him, hoping that he and I could get through it together.
Fast forward several months…
He confronted me last night about issues that revolve around this book and the message it is conveying. I said some pretty mean and hurtful things to him that I wish I could take back. He wanted me to come here to this post and read it. How could I be so blind to not realize I did the same thing to him that he did to me. The devil is conniving and an opportunistic player and will strike when we are at our most vulnerable states. What he told me last night hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I’m so angry with allowing myself to fall away from Christ. I just lost the love of my life because of it. Two and a half years in our relationship, very close to getting engaged, and it’s all over. I am so upset and disappointed with myself. I’m in a frantic and panic state of mind at the moment…..
Stephen, I love you and I am so truly sorry for what I have done to you.
Ladies, please beware. These books are not worth it. Don’t allow yourselves to be prey for the devil for he wants to destroy your life.
I wish I would have read this blog a while ago before I read the books.
Thanks for the post and I’m loving all of the subsequent comments! Plus, I’m laughing over the end phrases asking others to be kind…completely get it as a fellow blogger!!! The internet makes many brave and in turn, nasty. May you continue to follow the Lord’s guidance in all that you do
)
Totally agree and have had a hard time expressing it to the women I know who have read it or think it’s okay (even people in my bible study which I couldn’t believe). Thanks for saying it so perfectly…you are right…it is porn.
It’s not just Christians who are against this book – a lot of non-Christians find it offensive as well, for the way it portrays women. In short, many women believe that it promotes physical abuse towards women.
No woman, regardless of their faith, should ever feel they should stay in an abusive relationship. Ever.
No, I haven’t read it, and I have no intention of doing so.
Apparently, a lot of Christians (men and women) have trouble with p o r n. I was surprised when I found that out when I read and reviewed A Good Girls Guide to Great s e x, an excellent Christian book on the subject(see http://christianreads.blogspot.co.nz/2012/05/review-good-girls-guide-by-shelia-wray.html).
Incidentally, one commenter compared 50SOG to the Twilight phenomena. That’s very appropriate, as originally, 50SOG was written as Twilight fan fiction. When the author decided to sell it, she changed the names of the characters so that she wasn’t plagurising Ms Meyer.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I am a Christian and have heard so much about this and wanted to hear a Christian perspective on it.
I am a Christian women and I had considered reading it to see what all the hype was about. A friend linked your article on Facebook. After reading the article and the comments that follow it, I now feel convicted not to read it. My husband (an awesome Christian man) still struggles with an addiction, how hypocritical it would have been for me to read it and feel the pain and anger at his addiction (not him)… THANKYOU SO MUCH!!!! and may God bless you for being brave enough to stand up for what you believe!!
and to Sandi Adam who wrote “I applaud your comments. My 22 year old daughter and I had a conversation about this today. I asked her what she thought about it. She said she thought that Satan had pretty much saturated the market on male pornography and was now going after the women.” – what a wise daughter you have!!!
Interesting…
I must admit, when I first heard about the series, and I jokingly said to my wife “I’ll get you this new book”, a still small voice said to me (not the exact words mind…)
“Be careful. The same way Satan now has males of ALL sexualy relevant ages – pre-teens, teens to adults getting further and further away from REAL emotion and relationship – through the proliferation of Pornography, it’s now time for a similar attack on women”…
Lots of failed marriages are blamed on men wallowing in pornography, which ends up leaving the man completely alienated from true sexual relationship with his wife.
Dare I say that we may be entering an era where the same is said about the women, who as a result of such titilation as provided in this book series, end up longing for that elusive “something else” too…
As far as Satan is concerned, Game over for marriage…
I am a Christian woman and I enjoyed the book. It’s a book…and God still loves me even though I liked it, or maybe even fantasized about parts of it.
Amen, thank you for sharing your heart with us
How can you judge something you have not read? Or have you read them and don’t think others should? I think censorship in any form when it comes to books is wrong. If you pick up a book and it is not for you, don’t read it. I personally did not care for the first one so read about a fourth of the way before giving up on it. But adults should be able to make their own decisions about what is right for them.
Kathy,
By your logic no one should give a review on anything. Dana was pointing out some of the issues in this book that would be a problem who share the same faith she does. She is giving these kinds of people a heads up so they know not to get into something that would be offensive and (in my opinion) unhealthy for them.
Censorship would be Dana saying these books should not be sold and either locked up or burned. Instead she is expressing a waring of some of the content and message of these stories. Everyone keeps using this word “censored”. I do not think it means what they think it means.
I find the comments regarding ‘not reading’ the book very narrow-minded… the same narrow mindedness that Dana is unfortunately being accused of. I have read parts of the book myself – and was disappointed at both the content (from both a literary AND spiritual level) but particularly my girlfriends’ lack of discernment about said content. The Scripture ‘Everything is permissible, yes, but not everything is beneficial’ comes to mind here… We are called to live in the world, and be salt and light to the world. As missional Christians bearing witness to the lost, we are simply not able to do this without being aware of our cultural environment. That means that we have to be able to live in a world where immorality abounds on every corner, and live in such a way that is strengthened and sustained BY FAITH. The Holy Spirit should be convicting us constantly about the world we live in and the people we meet. Sure, go and read the book, that in itself shouldn’t be an issue. I personally would not pay any money for it, because like Dana I cannot possibly support it. But I WILL certainly be using what I have read of it as an opportunity to witness about what God’s grace and obedience to His Word can do to restore the broken marriages I see around me. Yes, I’m a sinner and I have a very human marriage just like everyone else, so I am not trying to sound holier-than-thou here. A preacher I heard once summed it up beautifully – there is no such thing as compatibility when you have two sinners coming together in marriage. Only Jesus can fix that problem, not ‘porn’, not ‘sexual license’, not ‘open-marriage’. The loneliness and sexual need that women (particularly Christian women) feel cannot and should not be sated by our imaginations – it should be satisfied by our husbands, who SHOULD be endeavouring to love and serve their wives. Idealism, yes, but it is the only way it works, and aside from that, it is also God’s instruction to us and His standard. Be discerning, people.
Thank you for writting this! It is written wonderfully with great explanation!
. It is encouraging to me as I also have felt the Holy Spirit put this conviction of hearing about these books! I’ve now been able to use your page as a resource 
thank you for being brave and posting what God has put on your heart! To His glory!
I am waiting for some Christian women to speak out against CHRISTIAN romance novels. These novels paint an unrealistic picture of a ‘godly’ man. Husbands and boyfriends have a hard time living up to them or are not there yet. I believe this has become more destructive to marriages and relationships then the Gray novels. I think the Gray novels are destructive on a different level but they can be more easily dealt with then the CHRISTIAN romance novels because they hit at more of a higher desire in christian women. Christian women desire to marry and be with a ‘godly’ man. These novels paint an unrealistic picture of a Christian man. Maybe they Grey novels are more realistic because they portray a flawed man who is trying to change.
I would like to hear the responses about this.
I totally agree with you. I know people who have read or are reading these books and I am scared of what the outcome may be. I am a single woman and I do not want to subject my mind to this stuff. It does bother me that believers do not have a problem with it, but I have to leave to the Lord to do what He does best and live my life for Him.
Thank you for having what people think of as the non-popular view.
Bless you
Thank you for being honest and risking ridicule by writing this. I had several unconverted girls tell me not to read this because it was porn on paper. Wow! Then, I saw a Christian friend reading it!! I am hoping to find something to pass on to her so she might reconsider these issues and this just might be it! Thanks!
Your blog is very well thought out and written. Thank you for talking about 50 Shades. I confess that I have read all three books and I am a married Christian woman with two young children. Like one or two others that have commented, I have not taken anything from the story but a story of love, loss, and change. Twilight and Hunger Games have a watered down theme of that as well.
As a result of this, reading Song of Solomon is now a whole new experience. Wow, who would of thought THAT was in the Bible. Oh my!
That aside, I do not recommend the 50 shades series because I know there are many Christian women who are unable to separate themselves from fiction.
My concern is when I walk into Big W the first thing I see is a display of these books, front and centre, all displayed beautifully, making customers want to pick them up and take them home. Children and teenagers have access to them in these shops and can flick though them or buy them without restriction. I worked in a bookshop after I finished school, and these types books were put on the top shelf, or if the content was really contriversal, put under the counter and customers had to ask for a copy.
I have been feeling very uncomfortable about these books for a while. A friend of mine was talking about them, calling them ‘mummy porn’ and saying she was enjoying them, but I talked to her again today and she has changed her mind, and said after reading them all, she was disapointed that the content was so degrading to women, and made this man (who really is not nice to women) into the type of man every women should want. And no, this is not right.
These chain stores dont stock playboy, or the like. Why are they stocking, and letting anyone purchase, these new pornagraphic novels. I know that they are making alot of money for these businesses, but they are also encouraging the wide spread of these undesirable materials sold alongside the mass market paperback, making these pornagraphic novels seem alright and ok because they are so reddily avaliable, and easy to get.
Sorry to go on, but I have a really bad feeling about this. It feels like society is testing the waters about what is acceptable and making people feel anything is now acceptable. What is society going to be like in years to come, if this is the way people want to behave, and want to have their lives to be like?
Please, get off your high horse. Every person that tells me they are a “christian” is a damn hippacrite. The bible is 1 man’s interpretation of a book, an opinion, just like you are posting. And just like i’m going to.
These books have greatly improved our (my husband and I’s) sex life, not that it was boring before by any means. These books or any porn books, give ideas to those who don’t want just
plain “vanilla” sex. Do you own cook books, home & garden books, or any other books that give you a different perspective on how to do something? These books do the same thing.
There we go again, Anonymous again, and mean at that. If you feel you can say it, then have a back bone and stand behind it with a name. Anonymous posting are for weak people who stand behind it because they can not take the heat of the fire.
Grow up and act like one, no need for mean, stabbing remarks.
Thank you so so much for writing this. I agree 100% with what you have written, I have even just shared this article on my FB wall. Your article is so well written and I love the verses with it..
Thank you to all. Stand and be counted. Our minister on Sunday gave a sermon on King Solomon and how he was so wise once but his many wifes and their false gods brought him down. Our pastor made an analogy between humans and the boiling frog. Apparently when you put a live frog into a pot of boiling water it will jump out, but if you put a live frog into cold water and then slowly bring the water to the boil, the frog will be so content in the water that it will forget to jump out and slowly be cooked. And yes as humans we can become ‘normalised’ in the simmering water around us and forget to jump out, until it is too late.
I’m going to comment here as anonymous. The reason I am doing that is because there are people in my life who I’m not ready to find out about my past in this way.
I’ve not read 50 shades of grey. In fact, I’m staying far, far away from it. That should mean I can’t have an unbiased view on the subject. But here is the problem. I do have an unbiased view on it.
It’s so very, very dangerous.
I was in the BDSM lifestyle. Deeply into it. I was a Christian before I got into it.
Here’s the thing, it starts with basic Bondage sex scenes, and then it goes deeper. Let me tell you, whilst I was in it, I met a good, maybe 50 church leaders that were into it? Let me tell you something else, they were wound up with guilt and shame so badly that most of them ended up mentally ill. I myself ended up mentally ill.
I walked away from it, and Jesus restored me. I am fully healed. BDSM is addictive physically (as in chemically addictive) and it perverts the beauty of sex as God designed it.
This book is something that satan will use to draw people into the lifestyle, and trust me it’s a slippery slope.
So thank you for what you wrote. Thank you for standing up for truth. I just wanted to add a warning from someone who has been there. Trust me, I’ve never met a mentally well BDSM’er, its created to destroy you, by the one who destroys best.
I am so relieved I want to cry. I’m not alone in this conviction. It’s like some kind of virus hit all of my Christian friends and took their ethics entirely away. They are reading these books with fervor, and then judging me when I won’t. ‘Well, you haven’t read it, so you don’t know.’ is the sentence of the month, aimed at me. And don’t get me wrong, I haven’t condemned anyone, I simply won’t read it. If these books are creating lust in our minds, that is NOT from God. And if reading it makes us want to have sex more often with our husbands, but not because we are thinking about our husbands, then that’s not from God either. The deceiver is hard at work, ladies. Don’t allow yourself to listen to the lies.
Thank you for posting. I needed this today, as my heart is a little wounded in this battle.
Thank you SO much. I am a Christian wife and Mum. My friend and her sister were raving all about this new trilogy. I was updating my kobo this afternoon for a time away at a cottage and almost just clicked buy…then I thought perhaps I should check this out with a Christian review or something like that (just as I would with a movie for my kids or for my husband and I). I came across your blog and was so thankful God led me there. You’ve stated it so well in your message and I can’t thank you enough. I was tempted and then God gave that little doubt in my mind and I searched for something to reaffirm it and there you were. God bless.
I’ve never read romance novels before, so when the buzz about this book started (not going to lie, i was interested, but didnt know what i should expect or if it would be wrong. I refrained from buying just because I wasn’t sure about it. After your post, I absolutely solidified my choice. Thanks so much! So greatful!
Stop being so dramatic. Its a book. (;
My 34 yr old Christian daughter and her husband are reading these together. She claims that they are helping her marriage, but I feel In my spirit these books are a tool from the enemy. She is very head strong so I need to pray for the right words to say to her about it. Satan will fool us, we need to be on guard at all times. Thank you for sharing and I pray that others will see the truth. God bless you.
I am a Christian mom raising four girls and I am so pleased and happy you wrote this for women, especially those of us striving to be pure and pleasing to Jesus. I was going to write a blog on this myself and was grateful to stumble across yours. God is rejoicing because you stepped out in faith. Warmly in Jesus, Susan Peters
Quincy, Illinois
http://www.seeyourjackson5.blogspot.ca/2012/08/fifty-shades-of-grey.html
My thoughts.
I had never heard of this book until I saw some where that a hotel in England was replacing the Gideon Bibles in the guest rooms with this book. I could not imagine a book worthy of replacing the Holy Bible so I googled it and read a short, but disgusting, synopsis on the book. I wanted to weep. Then I read that it is a huge seller in Europe and also here in the States. Very sad commentary of our times.
I think Billy Graham says it best in his recent letter to America:
“My heart aches for America. Self-centered indulgence, pride, and a lack of shame over sin have become emblems of the nation’s lifestyle. The farther we get from God, the more the world spirals out of control. But there is good news.
In Jonah’s day, Nineveh was the lone world superpower—wealthy, unconcerned, and self-centered. When the Prophet Jonah finally traveled to Nineveh and proclaimed God’s warning, people heard and repented. The wonderful news is that our Lord is a God of mercy, and He responds to repentance. I believe the same thing can happen in our nation today. It’s something I long for.”
Let’s join Dr. Graham in praying earnestly for our country.
My girlfriends are all pushing me to read this, taking a stance and NOT reading has become a testimony to them. God has laid it HEAVY on my heart to resist this. I googled “Christian perspective on 50 shades of grey” your post came up. Solidified what God was enforcing upon me. Thank you letting the Holy Spirit use you to speak to me! In my weak moments, I’ve almost downloaded this book, justifying it would put a spark back in my marriage, whew! Close one, thank you
All of my friends have read this book and has asked why I hadn’t; but i couldn’t give them a clear answer. After reading your post, I know in my heart it is the right answer to not read this book. In fact, it is God’s Will. Thanks for being a strong Christian example.
Dana,
Thank you for writing this, no matter what anyone says YOU have been faithful to Him. You have given me the courage to speak what I believe, romance novels eventually destroy happiness in marriage.
If a spark is needed in ones marriage then read this:
“Real Marriage” by Mark and Grace Driscoll.
Thank You for writing this post! My Sister and I have been discussing it since she just bought it after her friends hyping it up… She had no idea what it was about. I hope she does not decide to read it.
My husband is a pilot and a FA handed him a copy that a passenger left on the plane to give to me. He was polite but said we had already discussed the book and I wasn’t interested.
We have to push back on society. I don’t need fantasy to help me behind closed doors. I need a biblical marriage! My behind closed doors marriage improved when we both starting putting Christ first!
P o r n o g r a p h y is not art but made to sexually entice. It is explotation of the human body. If your DH had an issue at any point with porn (mine did) and was drawn away from it… Why would We cause them to stumble with what society says its okay?
Great Post! Thanking God for your courage!!!
I am so tired of hearing my CHRISTIAN friends reading this book! I wish I could post this on FB but I don’t want them to feel ridiculed or judged but I have to wonder what women of God are doing reading this kind of junk. Good for you.
Hi Dana…my mom sent me your blog post because she knows how mainstream these books have become and wanted to make sure I was not reading them. I assure you, unless these books are discovered to be the new wave answer to correcting fertility issues, I have no interest.
That being said, I did feel convicted to comment. I am a fellow Christian woman that tries to lead an honorable life, showing kindness and love to both my Christian and non-Christian friends. To be honest, I was very unsettled by your final statement, “If you are not a Christian yourself, you do not even need to leave a comment because I was not directing this post to you at all.” I heard a very good sermon a couple weeks ago about how Christians & the church can get it wrong sometimes, making our case on what we are against, and being judgmental towards fellow sinners and those who have not come into a relationship with Christ yet. I feel like your statement conveys the message that this post was not directed towards non-Christians because they are completely beyond understanding and who cares what their souls read anyway. While it is important to encourage our fellow sisters in Christ to walk an honorable life, why would we (as Christians) completely write off those that have not found faith and say we do not care about the filth they read? Even when Satan comes to deceive, God always has a way to get His glory. Rather than completely writing off the non-Christian reading world, maybe just maybe these books could be an opportunity for us, as Christians, to start some faith-based discussions with our non-Christian friends.
Hey Jen, I don’t’ disagree with your comment, but I think Dana was writing because of a conviction in keeping believers accountable, not that no one else mattered.
Char…I do agree that her motives were pure in writing this post. While I am not a follower of her blog and do not know her personally, the topic she’s writing on is a popular one and would be easy for a non-Christian to stumble upon through a basic google search. That being said, I felt the statement was a little cold and could have turned off a non-Christian reader who found this post and may have been interested in what she had to say up until that point. Is that fair?
I think so, and no harm intended. There is certainly enough discord in this world without us Christian gals getting at each other. I’m so glad both of you care enough to speak out for Christ!!
II find it so interesting that this is even a debate among Christian women or men for that matter.. It’s simple, can you read this book lay it down and pick up your Bible a read it without feeling convicted? NO! I have tons of Christian friends reading it, and I think it just because they want too. They wanted to read it more then they wanted to talk to God about if they should..
Is it Porn, yes! no I’m not watching something however the act is being played out in my head, same thing..
Non-Christian Women on here, How to view this book is a matter of the heart. Its books like this that make non-believers avoid their emptiness for a while but only a personal relationship with Christ can make you feel full all the time. When you’re walking with Christ he can give you a passion for your husband that does not burn out just because you got to the end of a book.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV84)
Questions??
I’ve seen so much hype on FB about these particular novels, and was wondering what all the hype was about. It’s truly sad when you have to investigate the content of a book before you read it.
Where did all of the TRUE literature go?
Thanks Dana!! I am so tired of people saying its “just a book”. Its not “just a book”, its porn and porn is destructive to relationships and one of the top public health concerns in our country. There is black and white (not grey) research on this but of course it is not picked up by the mainstream media. The enemy is doing a great job at sneaking this book into so many homes (christian and non-christian). Been praying about this a lot… so scary that it has become a bestseller.
I was so relieved to read this post. I am a christian woman worrying about my christian friends reading this book and seeing no harm in it. I’m too scared to say anything to them but what I want to do is remind them of Philippians 4 v 8.
mmmmmmmmm……well,I am a Christian,and considered if I should read the books..I caved….I recently divorced after 20 years, my ex is on drugs…badly on drugs…I have read all three books…the couple in 50 shades marry after 8 weeks…and yes, the sex is spicy…as it should be in marriage…if ALL of us women did a few of these things in bed, there would be no need for our husbands to look at porn,and yes, looking and reading is TWO different things…we read The Song OF Solomon,…..a VERY sex book of the BIBLE! to learn about sex…reading 50 shades in no different…if we all was as submissive to our husbands as ANNA is in 50 shades….well, our husbands would be AS LOVING AND ATTENTIVE as Christian is too his wife in the books! women do need to get out from under the covers, turn on the lights,take the PJ’S off…look at our men as they pleasure us…learn new ways to pleasure each other, and little spanking isn’t going to hurt anyone…lol….or wearing a mask as your husband touches you…you for sure won’t be looking outside a marriage if you keep it alive, between TWO people , that is what the book promotes,two people becoming one…in ALL areas….inside the room and outside the room…my next marriage will model this marriage….that is a promise!who else is going to talk about this subject? our pastors wives? mmmmmm,no…..is there a sex ed class at church on Sundays? nope…..but if there was….I bet a lot of men would come to church after a hot date with their wife with a BIG SMILE on there FACES!
Thank you. We continue to look for shades of grey to avoid having to make black and white decisions that are hard.
Thank u for ur encouragement, stumbled upon this book. Had no idea what it was and got hooked, thank u for ur scripture based thougts. Really helpful. Thank u
Funny….but I actually do pick up my Bible and read it after I read 50 Shades…it actually reminds me of a lot of what I have read in the Bible…minus adultery,murder,incest,which the Book is strictly against…and allows me to have an open conversation about sex with spouse that I wouldn’t have otherwise had…I am on last book, will finish it without regret….just as I watch Twilight,God looks at what is in our hearts….and My heart is all about my love for God and to be the best wife I can be for my husband…one day I hope to be a wife again…From: Recently Divorced and Did everything “right”…
tell me how S & M that has it’s roots in Kama Sutra Hinduism religious practices is the same as Song of Salomon?
Three questions to ask one’s self –
First, how does it bring Glory to God by reading these books, watching these movies, etc.? Our purpose is to bring God Glory through our lives by how we present the Lord to others and how we present our lives to others as well. All the things we do to that effect fall under this category?
Second, how does this help further our sanctification with the Lord and our relationships with our husbands or future one’s?
Third, how does this bear up a good witness to those around us?
What I will further in this conversation is our right to judge another or not and where it comes into play here. The new trend in Christian Culture is to say we are not to judge another. Where does this seem to be coming from as of recent? Is it biblical? We are to be cautious and make judgments because there are those who do wish us harm or cause harm to another. “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” (Mat 7:15).
There is nowhere in the bible that says not to judge another. We are not to sit in judgment of another being a hypocrite. We are to make judgments in a way that looks at the issues and whether or not they are to cause us harm or good. We, Christians, have the authority to judge people’s words and actions. How do you know if someone is a false teacher? Go to the scriptures! In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 Paul says: “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” Here is an example of that shows that: “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” (Mat 7:15).
I think we are seeing a big influence of the nonjudgmental issues because we are now having the ideas taught in many colleges that our feelings (secular reasoning) have a say in what we now decide is right for us and that therefore no one else has the right to tell us what is good, bad, right or wrong anymore. The evidence is the ideal of many that teach that we are able to come to God or our higher power in our own way. It is now coined Having a Conversation in the post-modern church.
We are also seeing a big push for the teachings of Spiritual Formation which is extra biblical teachings like Centering Prayer, Mysticism, Taize Chanting, Yoga, Prayer Labyrinths, Reichi and such that are teaching about emptying the mind, going with our feelings and embracing our emotions. These teachings have their roots in New Age, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Gnosticism. There is no biblical basis for these things that are taught now. Jeremiah 17:9 says, ”The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
These teachings are a set up for us to accept other things based on our feelings or in the case of what the sexual practices in this book that are involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (BDSM). These things have their roots in Kama Sutra, which is Hindu religious practices with the similar concept of that of Yoga and the differing positions have religious meanings behind them. (I had no clue about what this all was or had never heard of it until I saw an article about it from a Christian Apologetics web site a few years ago and was quite alarmed to learn about it.) These things also are in the broader scope apart of it.
I have a 19 year old daughter that in now taking all that she has been taught by us, her parent, her spiritual authorizes and others and then also now gleaming impressions from those who she for one reason or another holds in high esteem as examples of what is right and wrong, healthy and not, good or bad. I would hate to think that one of her influences that might think this is o.k. stuff would possibly have a contributing factor in her decision making. Young women her age are forming their own values and character now and it will have an impact of who they marry, who they date and how they are to be treated.
The depiction of the story line on Wiki is about enough to make my stomach turn. I gleaned from it that there is not a marriage or a relationship here but a sick contract for sex. I can call it what it is….Sick and Evil! Yes, I made a judgment here! We need to quit worrying about others feelings and not offending them when their peril is left for us to wrestle out with God when we sit before Him and he ask why we said nothing.
Ps. I am a friend of Marians and support her perspective full on!
Romans 6:1 “Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace?”
I received the same, well, similar conviction… I loved reading the hallmark romance books, & I was convicted that it gave me very UNREAL expectations about relationships & romance… I stopped reading them too, & turned to books like ‘for woman only’ by shanti. Now I am married, and happy to have a godly & realistic view on what a good relationship should be.
Amen!
Bravo, sister! This is your worship–being bold and declaring truth. Brilliant and beautiful!
Thank you for speaking the truth in love! As Christian women, we need other Christian women to speak boldly for Christ! I was starting to question why so many of my “Christian” women friends are reading this and wondering if I was missing something… thank you for your reminder of who God calls us to be.
Thank you! I agree and have felt the pressure from my Christian girlfriends that these books will enhance my marriage, etc. And have been called judgmental when I question them about it. Thank you for speaking the truth in love.
As a Christian and a man I would never consider picking up this book, even if I were female. The thing that concerns me is the number of novels we are now seeing in stores being promoted as the next shades of grey phenomenon and with covers very similar to shades of Grey. I’ve never picked one up but from what I’ve heard, the content is bordering on the pornographic. There doesn’t seem to be any age restriction on buying them, like there is with DVD’s etc. What concerns me is that they have NO warnings on the book about what they are about. I was shopping with my mum and she was looking at the book chart, as she was going to buy herself some new books. She said oohh everyone mentions these I wonder if I should get them. I diplomatically managed to guide her away from them. So if my mum doesn’t know what they are about, there is a proportion of people who have never heard of them, who may accidentally buy them for themselves, or as a well meaning gift for a teenage relative. I can only imagine the distress someone would feel if theybought it in good faith and read/gave it as a gift. I just want to add that I’m not judging anyone who has read it, is reading it or wants to, that is your decision. This has just been my opinion about areas I see potential problems
Simon
People have sex, people enjoy sex. So why skip past those bit’s in a book? The story line is good and enjoyable, it just includes the sex! If i’s being classed as porn that’s fine. I don’t mind admitting I like it, the sex turns me on. So what? I have sex so why shouldn’t I read about it? I am not ashamed to admit I like ‘mommy porn’. You need to join the young ladies of the 21st century. My parent’s know I’ve read this book and my husbands parent’s know and his mother has also read it. We love sex and we aren’t ashamed to admit it!! I don’t think it’s a sin to read about sex??!! And if it is I’m sure God has more important things to worry about than you reading about a bit of ‘kinky fuckery’ like murderers and the starving children in third world contries.
thank you Sister for what you have written. I cannot fathom why a christian woman would want to read a book based on fantasy…
Linda – Amen for burning the books!
I have been able to share this link to your blog here with a few women I work with. I am a christian guy and am frustrated by this book being passed around the office and everyone has to just be okay with it. Some women have been open to your view point which by the way is dead on accurate and aligns with thte Word, others have decided that they dont feel that way. At then end of the day at least we got a christian view point of these books out there and for that I thanks you
Hi people you mite not want to hear this If you are reading 50 shades. Let i just ask this but WHO is The real autor If this book? It is The Devil!! Too bad If some christian cant see this but even my unsaved partner realise this. We are trying to stay away from having sex until we get married. Then 50 came along. I told her it not à good book to read . I know it was just going to defeat what we were trying to achieve. She Did not listen to me. Now she is finding defficult. Let i just say every one is reading this book are being fool by thèse sexual perverted demons. Yes! They make people feel sexual pleasure If open up yourself too them. They pretty much know how human is wired. Satan is perverting sex but that is to be expected of him, but why christian would want to take à ride. Galatians 5 :24 those WHO are Christ have crucified The flesh with Ittts passions and disires. Its simple If ur not doing that u r not his.
really hard. I overcame perverted
Anonymous above. I totally agree with your position on not reading these books but I have one question ….this I found puzzling….are you marrying a non-christian? We are not to be unevenly yoked. That maybe where some of your problem is coming from with your partner. She is not seeing through the lens of Christ.
Hi jodie! We where together before i gavé my life to Christ we also have to kids togather. I dont think its going to work. Only God knows, but one thing Am sure about is my salvation with Christ.
Thank you! For saying/writing exactly what I’ve been thinking every time I go on facebook and see another woman (Christian woman) posting about the book. For me it’s a good reminder that we all have different interpretations of how God wants us to live our lives as Christians. I struggle with not being judgmental towards the women I know who are reading or have read the book. I cannot make their choices for them, but I can pray for the future generation. My prayer is that Christians see the black and white and do not get caught up in the gray areas. God makes it clear what is glorifying to Him. “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” We really need to ask ourselves, “Who/what are we truly seeking?”
Anon, that explains it!
I will be praying for your both! God can change her heat like we can’t. The best to you both!
Its a bad book and saten loves money
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I agree wholeheartedly. I just wish more people were of the same accord and realized the dangers that they are feeding their minds.
Thank you for your post, so good to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I never even read the book, but I knew immediately something is not right and I believe its a warning that came from the Holy Spirit. So many of my Christian friends wants to read the book, now they will think I’m silly for trying to warn them, but better warn them, than to let them walk into the lion’s den.
SO…. I am not Christian but I would like to shed a little light into your life! We know it is considered a form of porn, but that was obvious when it says erotic romance and is found in the erotic romance section! For some women it is book is very liberating and obviously some are against it. There is no need for book bashing. WE LIKE TO READ THESE BOOKS BECAUSE OF THE PORN!!!! If you don’t like it, then don’t read the books or complain about them. Get over it. Thanks
Amen…jus only found out abt this book yesterday it’s evil and demonic ladies stay away!!!
THANK YOU! You made it a WHOLE lot easier to voice my opinion on Facebook! I just shared your post with all my friends! <3 you!
Anonymous from the 21st of August. You are NOT being kind. Guess that’s why your “Anonymous” huh? We are part of the 21st century & can READ when someone says not to post if your not going to be nice! I LOVE sex!!!!!! God designed it & there are A TON of Christian authors who wrote about it. The best one I read is “The Gift of Sex” By Joyce Penner & her hubby. But I don’t have to read about some imaginary S&M & wish mine was like some fictional characters! The blogger said if you can’t be kind then DON’T POST! So I suggest you find somewhere else to take your attitude!
Plus if this book is “Liberating” for women then they have some issues & need to go seek professional help!
Thank you so much!!!! I am so happy that I came across your web-sight! PLEASE do more!!! God is there for you,always even if you don’t know it.
Thank u so much for this article. I too have felt God leading me away from romance fiction, even christian ones. I am one of those women that become obsessive about these books and it was affecting my marriage and my sanity. While i still struggle with this sin it is encouraging to have other christian women taking a stand on this subject. My husband was recently given this book for me to read. It was from my non-christian neighbors. Being apprehensive about any romance book i decided to do a little research before i read it. Needless to say i wont be reading it. However now i have to regain my testimony and tell the neighbors why i can’t read them. I’m hoping this will be a good chance to witness to them…. again thanks for your post. In the end it will only matter what God thinks. Stay strong.
Excellent commentary. Your points and biblical support is right on. This is also something God had convicted me of a few years ago. And when God speaks you’re a fool if you don’t listen! I appreciate your openness and honesty!
Hey! Just wanted to say ‘cheers’ for the heads up. Before I started reading the book I hit google search looking for a spiritually aware assessment of it which I found it in your blog. If that’s how you feel I won’t begin reading the copy that’s been loaned to me. Peace!
Please allow me to play devils advocate. Myself, being a christian woman who was raised in the church, started reading this series. It didnt make me feel separated from god in any way, shape, or form. The fact is that there are relationships, like the one described in this series, out there in the world. While I have no animosity for those that feel that it is blasphemous, I feel that one should take into perspective that this series was not written in a disrepectful manner, or written to used as a tool against God nor our Holy Savior, Jesus Christ.
The author is extremely intelligent and concise in her description of this type of relationship. Before you ask, no, I have never entertained the idea of having this type of relationship as I am too much of a strong woman who would never tolerate that type of treatment upon my person.
However, the overall tone of this blog brings to mind Matthew 7:1, “Judge not that ye be not judged.” Do we really feel that this series, 50 shades of Grey, and its counterparts takes us away from God and leads us into Satans Lair? I did not feel this way in the slightest. I found it to be an excellent read and very gripping.
God is in my heart and he will forever stay there. There is not a book on the face of the universe that could make me feel as though I were slowly slipping away from him.
Just my 2 cents, take it as you will, though I do not feel that I have been disrespectful to anyones opinions or feelings on this topic.
Just me,
I am going to share my perspective to what you just said.
First off, I keep hearing repeatedly through the halls of Christian web blogs, from my fellow friends, etc.that we are not to judge other Christians or non-Christians. We are to have discernment which is a type of judgement. Paul Copan, in his book, True for You, But Not for Me, describes the fallacy in this all too common thinking:
“It has been said that the most frequently quoted Bible verse is no longer John 3:16 but Matthew 7:1: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” We cannot glibly quote this, though, without understanding what Jesus meant. When Jesus condemned judging, he wasn’t at all implying we should never make judgments about anyone. After all, a few verses later, Jesus himself calls certain people “pigs” and “dogs” (Matt 7:6) and “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (7:15). … What Jesus condemns is a critical and judgmental spirit, an unholy sense of superiority. Jesus commanded us to examine ourselves first for the problems we so easily see in others. Only then can we help remove the speck in another’s eye-which, incidentally, assumes that a problem exists and must be confronted.
The idea that we are not to judge another is actually a Post-Modernism concept that has crept into the churches across the land. We also see in in our secular culture, which is a form of Humanism. Many say not to judge another but are then turning around and judging the person they are in disagreement with by saying their values and world view have no place to be shared.
There are far too many of God’s people who misinterpret this verse and as a consequence wind up adopting an extreme position of tolerance not taught in the Word of God! First and foremost, we must be a people of spiritual discernment and exercise great caution in accepting as genuine those who claim kinship because the Bible clearly teaches that “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Matthew 7:14, ESV). It also teaches us that Satan is busy “planting tares among the wheat”–filling Churches with unbelievers. Satan is quite happy when we don’t practice the discernment that is taught to us in the Bible. Just down further in Matthew 7:15-20 it says:
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”
There are many other verses that teach about being discerning. The Holy Spirit lives in genuine believers and with His presence in us we will produce “the fruit of the Spirit” that will be displayed in our lives like it says in Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
In Matthew 7:1, it uses the Greek word krino, the meaning of which–according to W.E. Vine’s “Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words”–is this: “primarily denotes to separate, select, choose; hence, to determine, and so to judge, pronounce judgment.” In other words the admonition is for us not to sit as a judge and pronounce sentence upon a person–to harshly condemn them–particularly if we are using ourselves as the standard. It does not mean, however, that we must refrain from observing others and forming opinions about the validity of their profession of faith. And it does not mean we shouldn’t warn others about doctrinal errors that are being taught.
—————————————————————————————
Second point, In Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
9 The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
It goes on to say, “I, the Lord, search the heart.” (Jer. 17:10 NKJV) God knows the heart, “So God, who knows the heart, acknowledged them.” (Acts 15:8 NKJV) He knew the hearts of the children of Israel who came out of Egypt. “They always go astray in their heart.” (Heb. 3:10 NKJV, see also Psalms 95:10) “God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.” (1 John 3:20 NKJV) The Bible says, speaking of Jesus, “But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, ‘Why do you think evil in your hearts?’’ Jesus could read a man’s thoughts and knew their hearts. We cannot hide from God for, “There is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Heb. 4:13 NKJV)
We have to be careful to not believe our hearts cannot ever be deceived. One of other statement say this, “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.” (Prov. 28:26 NKJV). If our heart is deceitful, if we can fool ourselves, how can we ever be sure our heart is what it needs to be? There is only one answer: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” (Prov. 3:5 NKJV)
——————————————————————————————–
Final point, Philippians 4:8 (ESV) says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
We are not to fill our minds with things that are lustful. The dictionary definition of lust is “1) intense or unrestrained sexual craving, or 2) an overwhelming desire or craving.” Lust has as its focus pleasing oneself, and it often leads to unwholesome actions to fulfill one’s desires with no regard to the consequences. Lust is about possession and greed. The Christian faith is about selflessness and is marked by holy living.
Sometimes I think we forget what being Holy is. 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8 it says, ” For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.’ Those are good verses to let penetrate our hearts.
So, in closing, I just thought I would reiterate what the bible has to say about some of the things that you covered in your comment and thought I would share my views on them.
Be blessed today!
WOW! Loved that last response after reading a few responses from “Christian” women who say that there is nothing wrong with indulging in the reading of this book. I think many of us, including myself, have wanted to respond with what you said, Jodie – but just haven’t taken the time to do it. We should not be complacent with what the world says but to stand up for our faith. Thank you again.
In Christ,
Julie
Thanks for being “brave” enough to share your thoughts..and most importantly give a God perspective.
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
New Living Translation (NLT)
12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”[a]
Just an FYI for Christians.. you’re supposed to be judged by other christians. it’s our responsibility to each other. you’re not supposed to judge those who don’t know Christ. So the next time you feel “judged” for doing something by another christian (assuming you are a christian), maybe you’ll disagree, but we’re supposed to keep each other accountable. so speaking on something like this is biblical. when it comes down to it – it’s between you & God. but listen to advice, have a learning & humble heart. ask the Holy Spirit to convict you if something is wrong.
Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart. 1 sam. 16:7
I don’t see any unkindness in your post. What I do see is a very strong Christian women telling it like it is. I applaud you and thank God for you.
Thanks so much your post is uplifting ! I will be following your blog now due to this book . Raising kids in the world today is difficult I was trying to find a book for my pre-teen to read and the options at the store are so inappropriate and extremely limited (@ target). I will keep searching for interesting books for her this talk about this book in the media everywhere has young girls 8,9, 10 ,11 wanting to get their hands on it badly, has me concerned what will come of it by age 16 .
Hi Anonymous, I posted a while back with a similar point, under my name Simon Garner) but I’ve started a word-press blog so its logged me in under that. I totally understand what your saying in the lack of titles available in some stores. Here in the UK (I’m assuming you are in the US with the mention of Target) these books are still very popular, and in local supermarkets they are on shelves right next to children’s books (which is very limited, mainly just picture books). Also these books have no warnings about the content, and are displayed with the normal mainstream paperbacks. As for books for your children have you tried http://www.Christianbook.com ? They have a wide selection of fiction and Non-fiction books for children and adults of all ages, on a wide range of topics. They also have lots of digital editions, a number of which are free or less than $2, so if you have access to an iPad or mobile device you can down load an app called christian book reader (search CBR n an app store) or you can download it for your Mac or PC. Hope you find something suitable. God Bless
I definitely agree. The abusiveness of the relationship was also something very against what God expects from a relationship. I didn’t read them but read overviews and heard friends discussing it. I just didn’t want to go there. I’m glad there are people willing to stand for truth and God’s true word on such things. I am highly highly against this book and it’s public acceptance is just evidence of the enemies fight to win souls.
Bravo for having the courage to write this! I believe that any book that paints a fantasy picture of the perfect man, even without including sex, is technically porn for women. We are emotional beings, and anything that plays on that fact, and turns our eyes from Jesus, is wrong!
Dana Thank you so much for writing this post!!!! Finally a woman to stand up, and not proclaim how “great” this book is! I have so many christian woman friends who think this book is great. when I try to tell them why it’s not, they just come back with you haven’t read it….Thank you so much!!!
Thank u so much, as a Christian woman I read a little of the book & god convicted me of it a few days back, I will pray for forgiveness & ask that he helps me to focus on him & my marriage. I love my husband so much & this book wilBinet in the bin tonight. I pray god forgives xxxxx
Hi I work for a magazine publishing company and we are actually putting out our second 50 shades of grey magazine. Don’t get us wrong, this doesn’t mean we are all supporters of the book, but it means we are reaching out to the consumers’ interest.
Anyways – In this issue, we want to get perspectives from the other side; the people who didn’t like the book. We were curious if you would be interested in speaking to us briefly about your opinions/feelings towards this book. Your post here was very honest and brass and we could definitely use that in the article
Please let me know! my email is JNWeber516@gmail.com
I don’t understand why people are saying there is any judging going on from this blog. All that has been given is someone’s opinion of the books based on how she felt the Lord was leading her. If you don’t agree, then don’t agree, but if you feel judged, then that seems like a sign of guilt or uncertainty in your own heart. In terms of judging, the Bible has no problem with judging the sin; we all sin, so it doesn’t affect whether or not we like someone, therefore, no one should feel ashamed going to a church. We all sin every day. Someone is just deciding to blog about an issue that perhaps many are being sucked into without being aware of how it is or could affect their minds and/or relationships. If you are a Christian, and you do not feel convicted when reading these books, then that is between you and God, and no one is judging you. The author of the blog specifically stated that in the beginning the fact that this is how God has led her to address this book series, and indeed it may not be fitting for all believers. She just challenges Christians to seek God as to whether or not this series will benefit her.
Praise God for not keeping quiet that which the Lord has convicted your Spirit on! I pray this helps other women in a powerful way. Lord bless you and keep you and I pray the blood of Jesus covers your life and cancels any curse that may have been spoken over you for being sold out on the favor of our heavenly Father!
Bless you & thank you, united Christians & woman in Christ we stand & praise god for giving us discernment over these books! The only book we should have our heads deep in is Bible!!!
Our church has a magazine which finally had an article written about this, much along the same lines you’ve written. I thought it maybe helpful. http://sydneyanglicans.net/life/books/supermarket-porn
Thank you for your post! I agree with you completely and I appreciate you stepping out in faith and making this opinion known.
THANK you for sharing this blog…..PLEASE pray for a friend of mine who is reading the second book…. and for those of you who did not respect this bloggers wishes, bbut making crude comments…we live in a “free speech….freedom of religion’ society, if you do not agree with the Blogger, then please don’t defile a Christian’s mind with your vulgar responses. Whether you like it, or agree with it or not, PEOPLE were created by GOD…and HIS intent for us is to worship HIM…HE created sexual intercourse, and has reserved it for those who are married…for their pleasure, and not for our minds to think, or imagine a character in a book’s sexual relations with other characters…..it’s just plain unhealthy, and yES, pornographic.
Hi Dana! I came across your blog when I googled “Christian reviews of fifty shades of grey”. Yours is the first one that came up so I clicked on it. I absolutely agree with your viewpoint. I received my monthly subscription to “Parenting” magazine and was intrigued when I saw the tag line “marriage cpr”. I flipped to the page listed and saw some quotes from moms and dads raving about what this book has done for their marriages. Again, I was intrigued and thought to myself “who couldn’t use a little marriage cpr?” so I decided to give it a try. I got all the way to chapter seven to the point when “Mr. Grey” is explaining what he would like to “do” to the main character. As I sat there nursing my 3 month old I glanced down at her and then over at my four year old daughter, singing and painting at the table. Then it hit me–”What am I doing?” I immediatley shut it off (I was listening to the audio book verison) and silently thanked God—I know without a doubt that the Holy Spirit resides in me because of how bothered I was by this book. The ONLY thing that makes me want to keep reading is so I can write up a full and complete review of the book and send it to the editors of “Parenting”, reprimanding them for recommending such a vulgar book in a publication that is supposed to give me advice on being a better mom. Suffice it to say, I will no longer be subscribing to THAT magazine. I cringe to think that I live in a world that has become so backwards in its way of thinking. God designed sex to be a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. I have heard some Christians argue that bringing porn into a marriage bed is ok, as long as its between a husband and wife. Again, I disagree with this view. The Bible tells us to think on “Whatever is pure”. I could go on for days about my opinion of this subject and I won’t take up your blog space but just wanted to thank you for stepping out and speaking up. We are truly not of this world. Who knows, maybe I will start my own blog and do the same. Thanks for the good advice and inspiration.
Thank you Sara!! I couldn’t agree more! I’ve emailed Parent’s magazine about the SAME THING! LOL
My wife is reading the Book and it highly disturbs me. I’m praying she will put these books away and not fall for the deception the 50 Shades Series is wedging into the lives of Women today. Not only is it Literary Pornography, but anyone who reads this trash and says it is helping their marriage is doing nothing more than justifying their husband’s unholy lusts. The Book of Song Of Solomon in the Bible is God’s instruction manual on marital intimacy. If you are struggling in the sexual area of your marriage I encourage you to read and deeply study this beautiful Book together. It is God’s Holy word and I will guarantee you, not only will it spark up your marriage, but it will also bring you closer together spiritually with God right in the middle, and as the Word says, “If God be for you, who can be against you!”
Praying with you!
I’m single but also asexual ( not kidding)
I will never have interest in this garbage
And its garbage
I decide what I like not society
I’m asexual
this book would nothing for me
I’m single too
No interest in this garbage
Sending prayers your way Dana. Thank you for this review, it helped me decide not to read the books. Sorry for the flack you are getting! Jesus said that would happen to believers and we can rejoice in being counted worthy to be persecuted for his sake
P.S. to all of you being mean and spiteful on here: Jesus loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You said it! I am truly shocked by people around me whom I thought I knew so well that are reading this kind of stuff…
Thank you for your post. There are some things I definitely agree with but personally reading these books increased my sexual desire for my husband and improved our sex life.
I am glad I read the 50 Shades trilogy before I saw this. I enjoyed them immensely and have not been changed a bit one way or the other from the story. Because that’s all it is. A story. Interpreted differently by each individual who reads it. I could say more about those who are so loudly against this series (but yet they read them anyway) That would be judgmental on my part, now wouldn’t it ?
Anonymous,
Judgmental…. You and others keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. The only thing this post has done is expressed why the author thinks these books are unhealthy for Christians to read. That is it. It is an encouragement for others to look into things a little more before they read. Judging would be saying I am sending you to hell for reading these books. A judge proclaims the guilt and carries out the sentencing. You do not find that here.
Thank you for clarifying and giving an honest insight into a book series I call ‘mommy porn’! Not good at all. I appreciate others with the same views. I had someone tell me I should read it before placing an o opinion against it. I told her I guard my eyes, ears & heart against such reads. I didn’t have to read it to have an opinion. Yes ladies, guard your eyes, ears & hearts!
Hi! so..i was looking for my ipod that my mom took away from me, and i found this book in her drawer and I have no idea that she was as sexually immoral as a Christian as this..What am i supposed to do? I can’t even look at her the same way anymore and I lost all respect for her. I don’t know what do do OMG .___.
So thankful to read your blog! I will not be reading 50 shades! : ) I am the same as quite a few of the others that posted here. I give my reasons for NOT reading it and am always told, “you don’t know until your read it!” This book, to me, is just a way to make pornography acceptable and mainstream. True, I have NOT read it, but just the reviews and what my friends have said about it, are enough to let me know that I am not suppose to read it. Thank you Dana! Stand strong in the Lord and His Ways! : )
Right on!! I couldn’t have said it better. I haven’t read the books and do not plan to nor see the movie. Thanks for stating your opinion so clearly. As Christian women, we need to keep our minds clear of such things.
Thank you so much for your post! I’ve been really interested in hearing a Christian point of view on this topic!!
My mother pours on and on about my dad n how she finds these DVDs and mags hidden and web sites and lives in fear of h being unfaithful. She started reading this trash that is ” best selling” and ” oh it must be ok it was on dr oz!” Blah blah blah it’s TRASH also did everyone know about the killer Fred west from the reading I’ve done about these books the events that take place are equal to the criminal acts done by a sick man. Thank you for posting this I e forwarded it to m mother with hopes of light of be shed into her heart
I am a born-again Christian – 23 years old. I work in a hospital, I gave a colleague (sweet sweet girl) who does not know Christ personally a book “The Death of a Guru” to read. It is an amazing testimony of a Hindu who found Jesus Christ to be his personal Saviour. After she had had it for about 2 months I asked her what she thought of the book. She said she has unfortunately not yet had time to read the book. Later I found out that she had started reading 50 Shades of Grey in the meantime. She gave me back the book containing a powerful testimony about Jesus having not yet read it, but was hooked on 50 shades. My heart was sore. When I heard what the book was about I was absolutely appalled. Please people – do not defile your minds like that.
Turn to Jesus – ask Him to make you sensitive to sin, and you will realize He is not happy with His children reading such filth.
Would you read the book if He was sitting next to you?
Yes, good question HANNAH! We all need to remember if we are HIS then he lives in us and knows and sees all. Most don’t think of it in those terms but the point if HE were right next to us, looking over our shoulder (Him knowing our every thought and deed) would we be comfortable reading this?
Daughter, you are a brave, bold and precious warrior for the Lord. It is hard to point out flaws to our parents or those we hold in high esteem or council over us, such as pastors and mentors and such, so this is a big step to have taken. Praying for you both!
UG. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone! Sad to see MOST of my friends falling for this sneaky crafty scheme of Satan!
THANK YOU for this post!!! You will receive your reward from our Lord, Jesus Christ, for speaking out against these shocking books….which seem to please the masses so much!
Thank you again from a Christian woman in South Africa.
I couldn’t agree with you more about these books! Thank you so much for posting!
God bless you Dana for taking a stand on this. I am a christian woman and could not agree with you more. Those who say it is NOT pornography and choose that path choose to be ignorant to God and what He says. It is so sad that people feel they need books like this in order to have “SPICE” in their lives. If that is the fact then there is something very wrong in those peoples lives. I love Jesus and the more I know Him the happier I have become…that beats any of the so called spice that this world is trying to satisfy themselves with….and if they were truly happy and satisfied they would not keep looking in these places for it. Those who have Jesus, on the other hand, know true happiness and satisfaction that ONLY HE can bring. They say the mean things they say because they do not understand any of that. Don’t worry about the negative comments…Jesus said they did things like that to Him and they will certainly do it to us. Our reward awaits us in Heaven when we will be with our Saviour. God bless you.
Dana,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I was led to your Blog for a reason. I am so convicted becasue I got caught up in reading the trilogy when I should have known better. I won’t even go into what I have been going through, but know that you are a blessing and I so needed to read your blog today. As a Christian woman I should have guarded my eyes, ears and heart and not even picked up this book. This book will be deleted from my nook. It just goes to show how satan can so easily come into our minds if we are not focused on God as we should be. I thank God for being a forgiving God.
Praise God for you! I searched “Christian 50 Shades” and your was one of the first results. I have not read it but I’ve heard over & over about this book and decided to do the search and get the opinion of a true follower of Christ. Thank you, dear Sister for your faithfulness in posting the truth. God bless you!
Dear Dana,
I’m a preacher’s wife and foster momma, and I love to blog because it’s my outlet of writing. And one of the many things that I love about blogging, is the community, and how easy it is to find someone you have something in common with. And I’m glad I found this post.
Over the passed several months as this hub-bub over 50 Shades as exploded, and then waned a bit, I have been increasingly more discouraged by how many women, and especially CHRISTIAN women are reading and supporting this book and encouraging other Christian women to read it as well. Finally, last week, I hit a low point. A girl that used to be in mine and my husband’s youth group posted on Facebook that she was going to read the book. I started commenting on her post about how she shouldn’t, I gave her scriptures to look at, and even shared my own story about how at first I had been tempted to read this book because everyone was talking about it, but how after I realized what the book’s content really was, I pulled away and never even glanced at it.
She read it anyway.
And I don’t know why it affected me so much, but it did. I was discouraged. Incredibly discouraged. I felt completely defeated as a Christian. Last week, Satan pushed me down into a valley, but what he hadn’t anticipated, as that in my valley, God would find me and lift me up. I’ve been talking with a few ladies from church about this book and my feelings about it, and I’ve been surprised that many of them don’t know anything about it. (We’re from an older congregation.) So as I’ve been turning to God about this whole mess, I decided to Google “Christians and 50 Shades” because I wanted to read some articles from Christians about this book, just like your post. Your post encourages me. It reminds me that I’m not alone, I don’t have to feel alone, discouraged or defeated, and there ARE women out there who are NOT reading this book because they recognize it for the sinful trash that it is. SO thank you for writing this post. Thank you so much!
Many blessings!
Love & Prayers,
Regina
ps – sorry for the novella comment, but that’s just how I roll sometimes.
haha!
Hi! Thanks for your post!!! I love reading, but stopped for a while because I noticed I was not giving God the time he deserves. Some days ago, I wanted to read this book even though I knew the plot wasn’t appropriate. The Holy Spirit was telling me not to read it, but at the same time I felt curious, until I found your blog. Thank you.
I applaud your bravery and courage to step out in faith. I think God is proud of you!
Thank you so much for writing this. Some of my old acquaintances were talking about this book, and I replied that I don’t understand that as a christian woman you can read this books. But they humored me, and made sarcastic comments about what I wrote. So thank you. I stopped replying on what they wrote to me. But it left me feeling ridiculed for coming up for my Savior, by others from my own church.
Hello, Dana
I am really thankful for your words here. I am a Christhian woman, and just as everyone else, very curious about the 50 shades of Grey. I live in Brazil, and a lot of my brazilian facebook friends have posted about this book. I decided to download it, and as soon as I started reading I realized how bad the book is. It is really a Devil’s tool. Of course lots of women will disagree, especially the non-Christian ones. I felt really sorry for that Anastasia, even though she is just a character… Anyways, first I felt I should read the book and write a review about it. However, as soon as I got to the part when she has an intercourse with Mr. Grey, I felt really sick, and realized how bad this book is and how it can drive me to sin. As you said, it brings bad thoughts to our minds.
Thanks for your post. God bless you!
My name is Giselle
(from the post above)
Thank you you for the wonderful words of wisdom. I’m from South Africa & this book is making waves this side of the world.It’s sad seeing how “normal” sexual immorality has become in our society. From one christian woman to another, may the good Lord bless you for this blog.
This is the United States of America and women should be able to read what ever they want. No restrictions from Government and especially the Christian churches. Before long you will start wanting the American Burqua and will want th create the American Taliban
Dan, women can choose to read whatever they like. Dana is speaking to women who have chosen to be Christians and want some guidance from another Christian. Each to his/her own. I personally found her comments suited me and my situation, so I chose not to read them. We’re following what the Bible says about morals. (0:
I was about to read the book but this article was a great reminder of why I shouldn’t. Thank you. It made a difference for me.
Well said… Speaking as a (and to) Single, Christian women we need to take note of this blog!!!!! Keep ourselves pure for our future husbands, and this means NOT reading this book!!!
Thanks Dana
Thank you for this, I have a few people who kept saying how this book was great and wondered if I should read the book. I feel like the Lord led me to your page to help me see the trut. May the Lord continue to use your page for the glory of his name and encourage others who stumble upon this as I have
This post is from a man, a life-long Evangelical Christian. Let me give you a perspective that may not get much “air time” because it is embarrassing and politically incorrect. I have been in a marriage for 17 years with a sexual prude. It has damaged our marriage immeasurably. There are only two reasons I am still with this woman. First, I am a Christian and will honor my vows no matter what. Second, the well-being of my children.
I would love it if my wife would read Fifty Shades of Grey or any other female “porn” that would awaken her sexual desire. This awakening would undoubtedly spill over into our bedroom. Her fantasy-based arousal over Christian Grey would not bother me one bit. If that arousal would translate to action in my bedroom, bring it on!!! It might just save our marriage.
I was shocked to learn an otherwise upright woman I look up to also reading this (albeit on a kindle…is that a hint of minor shame to disclose what one reads?)
It also made me wonder about how we objectify the opposite sex from both the male & female perspective. We seek something to fulfill a temporal corporeal need that is nothing compared to eternal satisfaction of
being in LOVE (not lust) with God!
Truly, we must color the world with the rainbow of Christ in a society already making excuses providing shades of grey of what constitutes moral begavior
Lise, I must admit reading some of the comments on this site has been a real eye opener for me. It seems that many Christians think sex should be a totally transcendent act, different for Christians than for non-Christians. And I guess physical pleasure is to be discounted. To quote you, “We seek something to fulfill a temporal corporeal need that is nothing compared to eternal satisfaction of being in LOVE (not lust) with God!” Ah . . . yes. The affection that motivates us to engage in sex is quite different than the reverence and love that motivate us to serve God.
A big part of sex is “corporeal” (bodily) and “temporal” (pertaining to the present life). Please read what the Bible says about sex and reconsider your comments. God made sex to be undertaken in our present life, and it pertains to the body. This is made clear in Song of Solomon, Proverbs, and a few books in the New Testament as well. For example “… may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” Proverbs 5:19
Are there differences in the sexual experience for Christians as compared to non-Christians? Of course. I have had sex with only one woman, and we started after we were married. Our mutual faith in God adds to every aspect of our union, including sex. But there is obviously a physical element to sex, and it should be fun and “dirty” for married, Christian people. Your analogy to loving (not lusting after) God is frankly bizarre.
I don’t mean to be unkind, but these ideas should not go unchallenged. Quite honestly I believe your view of Christian sex is exactly the reason so many Christian marriages are going down as the result of an unfulfilling sex life. I hope you read this post and explain yourself if I misunderstand your point. Respectfully, RH
To Rod,
I was writing from the context of a single Christian woman, who believes in the sanctity of sex as an act of love as you have suggested between husband & wife.
The way today’s culture has made sex to be just a casual act when speaking of OUTSIDE of marriage decreases in my opinion the value of sex, which when in engaged with two people who love one another is to bring happiness-not only as you suggest as physical desire but with the promise of bringing life into the world, a great way of representing how extraordinary the act of sexual union can be.
Perhaps our unique perspectives based on our own life experiences colors our views on this matter. Overall, I appreciate your challenge.
To Lise,
Thank you for the explanation. I didn’t realize your admonitions were exclusively directed toward singles. Of course as a Christian I agree that abstinence is the only Godly option for single men and women.
Unfortunately many Christians (usually women) are unable to make the transition to uninhibited sexual pleasure in marriage. This is a source of unspeakable damage, which results in divorce or marriages filled with anger, bitterness and frustration. So for the sake of your future husband I hope you fill your mind with positive thoughts about sex in the context of marriage before you walk down the aisle. Many men (including me) have been broken by marrying women who can’t make that transition. God Bless! RH
P.S. Yes, I am writing under a pseudonym. But I am a real person who lives in Kansas, and I am being honest about my situation. I hope you and others like you can learn from my story.
Thank you so much for your post and comments. It’s good to know that there are like-minded people out there. When I heard people talking about 50 shades of grey I was repulsed and angry. The enemy has such a sly way of penetrating the ranks. I believe this book will distort many a woman’s perception of sex (because it can’t be called intimacy) and will amount to an impossible target for her husband. I really believe it will breed dissatisfaction and also disconnect between husband and wife… But that is just my opinion.
What saddens me the most is that there is talk of a movie. This is just a polite excuse for pornography. An acceptable form of pornography; a way to innocently introduce pornography to the masses. So devastated that the enemy has won so much ground but knowing that God has the victory. And so greatful that he has given me a discerning heart and so much grace to protect me from such things.
I’ve read the book on its first nine chapters only.. I just can’t continue reading it because it is so lustful.. I’m a christian and yes I repent and ask forgiveness why I let myself read the book that I know won’t help my spiritual growth.. Dana is right the totality of the book is “pornography” it so happen the wordings is not too explicit but the when you read it your imagination is going somewhere bad… Enemy knows human are visual and audible, by reading our we can form imagination that can pollute our minds.. So sad that those who read this books are teenagers.. What we can do is pray and plead to God to intrude in this situation, and I have faith that not for long even the writer of this novel will submit herself to God and trash all the books that was already published.. hahahaha.. not impossible right? with God nothing is impossible..
yeah i agree with what you say here, they cover it up in a nice grey book and all of a sudden its acceptable to the world, DOES NO ONE SEE WHAT THE DEVIL IS SCHEMING HERE?? i mean wow, i had one look at the book and my spirit said NO.
its the same as all these furtune telling caravans popping up everywhere, and i see no one taking a stand against such things.
aslo this book promotes woman wanting more dirty sex, ( lust not LOVE) its not Gods way its just the devil taking another shot at making what God wanted to be perfect ,, ugly,,
i applaud you for the comments on the book,
I am so grateful to read your review. Since so many people were talking about the book, I was starting to get into that “me too!” mode where I just *had* to know what everyone was talking about. Then I read your review and the summary of the book on wikipedia. When I got to the part of the summary that discussed how the main female character was willing to give up her precious virginity to a man who was into a strictly sexual BDSM relationship…I wanted to jump up and yell “NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!!”. I’m so terribly distraught, even by reading the summary. Personally, I’m glad I didn’t buy or read the book…I would probably be ill for days after! I also pray for the ladies who have read the book and may think that sexual abuse is ok. Believe me, as a survivor of an abusive marriage (and yes, I was a virgin when I married)…sexual abuse does NOT make you happy or release your “inner goddess” or whatever. Physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse is life-destroying, demeaning, and demonic.
Congratulations! God bless brave and commited christians like you. I am sick of my friends talking about this book openly on facebook. I am not interested in reading it, it is not even good literature as it was rated by well known writers. it is very bad written but as you said sex sells. Sex is part of life, PRIVATE life! I am trying to figure out why they read it!!!? No answer so far. Keep posting!
I have to thank you for your post. God certainly speaks in many ways and through many people. At the age of 16, I believe God called me to work with young girls. For the last four years, my life theme has been living a lifestyle of purity not just physically but in every area of my life, emotionally, mentally etc. It’s been quite a challenging yet exciting walk. All this to say that it is certainly encouraging and challenging to know that there are other Christians publicly striving to be more Christ like. God bless
Sad comments by Christians trying to push their views on others. How about instead keep your comments to yourself. When you blog openly you are talking to anyone and therefor opening up yourself to attacks. First…. It’s a book. 2nd it’s adult yes but how is a book that has an end result of bringing a man and woman together more through sex bad?? Now if its causing women to feel like they have to… It’s wrong. But if free will is talking to them I trust there bond with god even if they aren’t Christian’s. I will tell you I am Christian but have lived in a relationship where for 7 years intimacy was a huge deal…. To point it ruined that bond. If a book like this could have excited her to want more closeness we would still be together. I feel this book deals with inner thoughts of a large group of women. How to be a woman yet not feel dirty about it and enjoy your sexuality. But it’s a book…. Of course I also feel porn can be can be mutually enjoyable if done right. The key is to share with your spouse as you do with god. Open up your heart and soul fully without fearing judgement. God provided a spouse or wants relationships to help foster growth to help others more. Hiding no matter what it is…. Thoughts on book. Porn playboy. No matter what leads to pain and suffering both to others and a spouse. In turn opening up. …. Non control …. Being allowed to try new things….. Sharing and discussing all foster a closeness to a spouse. I trust god made sex pleasure and that how someone enjoys sex is up to them.. Just as in the book ( now ild never do things in the book but I don’t feel others doing them is bad. …. But I’ve had friends who are swingers too ). What’s ironic is those friends were closer than so many other friends I knew. I never saw fights. They discussed anything wih each other. They were Christians Nd were the first to help our the community or give money or be on commities. Others turned to them in times of despair. My good guy friend was first to help other guys out in terms of spiritual or just a good friend. Yet behind their ” shade” they were swingers every now and then. It was something they enjoyed together. God works in mysterious ways. Nobody knows god fully accept through himself ( meaning how god calls you is different than how god calls others). So I say as long as the book is read by women never meaning to be controlled fully, treated as a toy, and more mean for enjoyment however hey choose and shared …. I doubt god will look down on that.
God bless you! I totally agree with you. The devil is prowling like a lion waiting to devour. God did not create us to share our love in this way. In fact, it is not love, it is selfishness and lust. God design with marriage is to gift ourselves to our spouse. If anyone would like further information: Theology of the Body by Christopher or Jason and Crystalina Evert have resources for information as well.
I had recently received this book by a friend(non Christian friend) I had my doubts to whether it would be a problem for me to read this book, and thankfully i found your site! In regards to the books, whether you want to or not the book WILL poison your mind with sexual ideas.. and it’s exactly what the enemy wants! Thank youuu after reading this i know have made the right choice!
Thank you!:) God bless you!
I have spent the last 2 1/2 years coming out of the BDSM lifestyle. My heart is broke as I read that this book has sold over 65 million copies. This lifestyle may sound fun, erotica, liberating but it is far from it. It is like drugs you just go deeper and deeper. You allow someone else to control your life and you have no idea who you are. I spent 8 years living it 24/7 it has taken me two and a half years to allow The Lord to show me who I am. If you are considering doing the type of activities in these books please pray about it. I am going to get very personal here for a minute, if you have sexual desires to that sort of thing there is a reason, most people who are in the lifestyle has had those desires all there life. I had the desires for as long as I could remeber for those type of things. I really believed God had made me that way!! I will never forget the day He told me He did not make me like that. My next question to Him then why was I like that? He answered me a few days later, I had seen something as a 4 year old I had forgotten about at that point the enemy came in and told me a lie (that being controlled was a good thing, spanking can be fun) when this was revealed I traded the lie that satan had told me for God’s truth. It made a difference. I beg anyone who is thinking about reading this book to please reconsider. This is coming from someone who knows what this type of thing can do. It is not all fun, games and sex. It is very damaging in every way and it is very difficult to come out of. Only by Jesus and a very supportive spirtual mom was I able to come out. I have seen some horrible things and have permanent damage on my body due to it. This may be too strong for some and I understand if my comment is deleted.
I also read the books and can’t understand why they are so popular but not because of religion. I skipped mostly the parts with sex after the 5th or I don’t know what time because I was not that much interested in it and it was like reading the same paragraph all over again. I don’t love the book but I also don’t totally hate them. In my opinion, it’s not well written and, especially in the first half of the first book, certain expressions are showing up over and over again. Like ‘we aim to please’ (in the whole 3 books -.-’ there’s not one chapter without this phrase -.-’). But I think that anybody who reads books, particularly ones that are fiction (!), should try not to mix the fiction with reality too much.
But who says that it is bad to spice up your life a little bit?! (What everybody does by his own choice is none of somebody else’s business, I think.)
And also if you have a certain image of a man or how a man should be from reading books or watching movies, it’s not a bad thing. You might not fall for every wanna be and just look for the right one.
You can’t compare this book with the bible! … 50 Shades of Grey is just fiction and not the next guide for life or moral. If having or wanting or imaging to have sex would be evil or not wanted by God, sorry guys but then having kids must be too -.-’ Not everybody can be conceived like Jesus -.-’ To have fun is not forbidden!
How many of the commentators have read the books? Take the sex stuff out and you have a bad written copy of Cecelia Ahern, Nicholas Sparks & Co. books. (Like I said why should it be forbidden to try some new things and look if you like them or not ? Sex is not a sin (reminder: result=baby).)
Try to combine life (science, sex, fun…) with religion in a little more relaxed way and if you don’t want to, don’t be so harsh with someone who does it.
Sorry if my English is not so good ^^’
Have a nice day everybody
Dana, I write a daily email Bible commentary and I was looking for some comments about this book and upcoming series from a Christian perspective. Sadly, they were in short supply. Thank you for your courage to speak the truth in love. I’m also just beginning to set up a blog-site (very much “under construction”) and I was inspired by yours. God bless you and your family.
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All i can say is THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!, You keep standing firm in Christ Sister, you are an amazing women of God and i myself steered clear from a book like this, I fell for it once before with the Shack and i am leery of new books now.
I am SO glad Christianity is declining amoung Americans now a days. Because all you “loving” and “caring” all preach hate. “Look at what they’re doing, it’s the devils act!” Who gives you the right?! Especially for those broad based assumptions. I know for a fact you haven’t read the book.. You’re TOO Christian to let it in your sight. The way Christians act these days, will get them disliked by all Americans. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Not after you post a blog entry about the worst book in history, when you haven’t read it? Put the bible down, and open your eyes.
yes we know its porn, thats the whole point! just saying:)
I thought about reading these books so many times. The first book was lent to me when I was reading a different book, so I lent it to someone else. She then lent it to someone else two more times. By the time it finally got back to me I was feeling like there was a reason why this book was not making its way into my house. I read this post and decided to read a little bit of the book and make my own opinion. I did not get very far and several of the comments from your post kept popping into my head. I determined that for me, reading these books would go against what I believe and that this truly is a tactic that Satan is using to grab hold of our fractured world. After much thought and prayer the book never did make it into my house, I read the little bit that I did while I was visiting my parents and left the book on the table in the guest room before I left to go home. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion.
By accident I came to this site. Interesting discussions, but still these are one of my favorite books. I have read them several time and I know almost them by heart. They did not ruined my relationship with my boyfriend, but it encourage us to try something new. But we are Europeans and he is a Dutch. Holland is country of free options about homosexuality, sex and nudity. It is simply part of our life, and if you don’t like it you don’t do it, you don’t read it or watch it.
A friend shared this Blog post on Facebook, so I decided to come and have a read and it’s exactly what I’ve been saying since I heard about this book in 2012 sometime! It’s p o r n 4 women, p o r n targets men’s vision and is more common.. however for women it all happens in our minds! and this is what I feel this book is about, hence chose not to read it.
Love this post, could not have said it any better myself
Sex is not the only thing that this book is about. So before you start bashing it, why won’t most of you try to read it! To those of you that act as if you have read it, clearly you have not gotten the bigger picture. The bigger picture is about a man who cannot have a real relationship, other than just sexual, with a woman because of his life growing up. This kid was beaten by his mom’s pimp, and left in the apartment with his dead mother. These books are written as a demonstration to how bad parents can mentally screw their kids up, not just short term, but long term in their adult lives. This book is about love conquering all. The other main character, Ana, is the one who teaches mr. grey, that there are people out there willing to love you for all of your imperfections. That’s where the sex comes in. Mr. Grey is not attracted to anyone, but Ana. And Ana is faithful to mr. grey. They get married and everything. If anything it could teach you about standing by your husband, and being obeidiant. So actually read the book before getting on the internet, and throwing out bible verses, and words like porn! Most of you read between the lines in the bible, certainly you can read between the lines of a book written on a 10th grade reading level.
The IN2G show has reviewed Fifty Shades of Grey in a little video. Do you reckon it’s 50 Shades of porn? Our two Christian presenters have divided opinions… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRjoeHYA7jU&feature=youtu.be
I think the book is perfectly fine, but only for grown, married women. If a woman wants to experiment sexually with her HUSBAND then that is perfectly fine, sex is not a sin. Therefore if you want to simply read a book, about a natural thing, then that is your business. It’s just a way for woman to get deeper into their feelings and sexual desires. No need to be boring with your husband (;
Holy moly! I know this is an old post, but I stumbled across it while trying to find out what Priscilla Shirer had said about the books. Thank YOU and praise Jesus!! This post is exactly what I’ve been saying from the first time a girlfriend told me about it. Thank you for being bold enough, and loving your fellow Believing women enough to be honest. I’m certain that The Lord is delighted in you too. Thank you for your courage.
Joyfully-
I too, just found this post doing some research on whether or not Christians are actually talking about and doing something about the HUGE problem of sexual lust in the church, for both males and females. I am grateful for your honest and true words. As a recovering porn/lust/sex addict (whatever you choose to call it), who has lost his job, reputation, income, marriage, and precious time with my children over this issue, I can assure you, there is nothing more frustrating than seeing the double-standard Christian women place on sexual fantasy, spotlighted by the incredible popularity of this book. Just because it doesn’t have pictures, doesn’t mean it’s not porn. I have heard quite a few Christian woman say, and some in this blog have stated, “It’s no big deal. It’s just a book. It’s spices up our sex life, etc…” But like you correctly point out, it is pornography for women. If a man looks at another woman lustfully, he has committed adultery by Jesus’ standards. I’m pretty sure there is no difference in God’s eyes if a woman thinks about another man lustfully. God bless you for being so honest and bold.
BTW, based on the popularity of this post, it appears there is a big need for more discussion/action on the issue of lust issues and sexual addiction in the church. Do you think women would want to know what their Christian husbands are really thinking about porn, lust, sex and God? I bet it’s not what you think. I ask because, although I haven’t read the books, from my research, my story is sounds similar to that of the character Christian Grey, except without the money:) And I feel called to help Christian men and women who struggle in this area.