I’ve been reading through Matthew and taking my time with it, absorbing all I can out of it before I move on. My goal is not to read through the entire Bible, but to ABSORB and savor, like a steak cooked perfectly. Now, I’m hungry. I should have eaten before I blogged…

It’s funny that now I’ve been reading the Bible EVERY day, what changes I’m seeing. Oh I’m still my rotten ol’ self, but, yes, there are changes. I’m just not happy with things like I have been in the past. My obsession with Gymboree has definitely taken a backseat, and I frankly didn’t think that was possible. I seriously LOVE Gymboree, but somehow it doesn’t satisfy me anymore. It’s still nice to buy the fun outfits, but even going to their website doesn’t hold the same appeal for me.

Message boards I’ve gone to for years, has lost my interest. I don’t care about their petty stuff anymore. I don’t care who said what to whom and who is mad at whom now and who bought what before so-and-so could. I simply don’t care. Buy, do, say whatever, I don’t have interest in their drama anymore.

My classes I’m taking….I’m finding them difficult to do anymore. They are by no means HARD, but it’s not what I want to do anymore. I’m not sure it ever really WAS, but I got pushed into them for my job that I’ve lost interest in now too. It pays the bills and keeps me home with Brooklyn and the boys in the summertime which I find VERY important. But something is missing.

And this is going to sound harsh, so if you are easily offended, close the blog slowly and walk away now.

Last chance…

I mean it….

OK, if you’ve chosen to stay, you either like drama too or may actually be halfway interested in what nonsense comes out of my mouth.

I’ve lost patience with ignorance. I’ve lost patience with stupid people to put it frankly. People given opportunity after opportunity and they WASTE it or throw it away! Even people in church, in my own Youth dept that come Sunday after Sunday and Wed after Wed and yet take NOTHING back with them! It’s SO frustrating! I sit with the girls and teach Sunday School and look around the room and it’s EXCITING to see the girls that GET IT and are applying what they have learned or what they have read. But then I look around the room and see the same girls doing the SAME things, not even PAYING attention in class, and I just want to SCREAM at them! “LISTEN! PAY ATTENTION! TAKE THIS WITH YOU AND LEARN SOMETHING, IDIOT! CHRIST IS COMING BACK AND HELL IS *HOT*, DUMMY!” But, ya know, I’m supposed to be NICE and sweet and I don’t want to be anymore. I’m just TIRED of ignorance. I’m tired of people being satisfied by stupid things instead of Christ! Tired of people having the opportunity day after day and week after week and yet they STILL return to their vomit! Yeah, we go from yummy steak to vomit….that’s nice…

I read the Parable of the Weeds today and thought of our Youth dept. I know, what an odd analogy for the Youth dept, and yes, I possibly may be crazy, but follow me here.

We have these great students (wheat) and they are growing and some are REALLY getting it, and then we have satan that has come in the night and sown weeds into our field (I won’t mention any names here, but there are weeds in there…more than 1 or 2). And when the owner discovers this, instead of pulling up the weeds and possibly damaging his wheat harvest, he let’s them both grow until harvest. But at harvest time, the weeds are gathered into bundled and BURNED, but the wheat is saved and put in His barn.

I just want to SHAKE those Weeds!! I’m just frustrated at their hostility towards God, or in some cases, their indifference. And all I can do for them is PRAY, because physical violence would possibly land me in jail. And that would not be such a great witness either.

I’m just restless. And hungry for that MORE. But to end on a good note, Austin has a good friend that he has been bringing to church every opportunity he can, and his influence on his friend has now stretched to his family and they ALL want to come to church now! WOOHOOO!! She said she needs a CHANGE and the difference in HER son is one she wants for the rest of her family…that’s God.