Have I mentioned I love my pastor? LOL Eastwood…..great church…..anyway, his sermon today just allowed me to be in the RIGHT frame of mind for what God was trying to tell me. And He did…
Luke 5:10b-11 “Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.’ So they pulled their boats upon shore, left everything, and followed Him.”
I am shallow. Let’s just get that right out in the open. I have become a very shallow lady, and I don’t like it. Granted, I didn’t want to change it either! LOL And I’m open enough about myself now that I can say that honestly, doesn’t mean I want to continue it, it just means I can say the words outloud. I’m a closet opera-liker too….there….while we are letting it all out….I enjoy some operas. Not to be confused with Oprah, and I WON’T go there…
So today in church, Gordon is reading from Luke, and God spoke to me and showed me ALL this work that I am so willing to do to buy more stuff. I have this whole little business thing on the side on these message boards selling custom made and custom painted outfits, and I’m talking from the hairbows to the custom painted SHOES! And I get pretty busy during the fall/winter doing these outfits and this is how I fund all of Brooklyn’s beautiful clothes she wears AND Christmas for the kids. It can be profitable for sure!
And being on these message boards will all of these sweet ladies, it’s easy to get caught up in the Gymboree, Naartjie, Gap, boutique stuff! VERY easy! Every changing of the season, I go through Brooklyn’s clothes and decide what we’ll keep, what we’ll get rid of, and what I’m just tired of seeing. <SNOB> There are times when she legitimately NEEDS something, but more often then not, I just WANT something new, so I use that money I work so hard for, to build up a wardrobe full of clothes that she seriously may not wear more than twice! Well everyone ELSE is buying all new stuff….I must buy more too! And it most of it is not new, and I’m just fine with that, and the stuff she outgrows, I give away, so that’s at least good….
But God showed me today that I could be making so much better USE out of my time and talent that He gave me by SAVING that money instead of spending it to buy MORE stuff that is NOT needed, only WANTED! So that is what I’ll be doing…..and I have to admit, it does pain me to say this…but for this fall/winter season, I won’t be buying any new clothes for Brooklyn, I will save that money towards my mission trip. I will have to use some towards Christmas, but that will be scaled back as well because my kids really do not NEED anything. America is full of WASTE and greed and I need to stand up for MYSELF and put a stop to it in my own life. I do not want to raise my kids that way either. I don’t need to buy new clothes JUST for the sake of outdoing everyone else or to make myself feel better.
I owe my family and my God that. So that is my commitment. I have 4 orders RIGHT NOW and that money will be saved for my mission trip.
And, finally, it has happened again: I was asked again “Could you give it all up?” I don’t know if God is really serious about this, or He’s just testing the waters. But standing in my nice hot shower, I hear it, and my mind just goes to all the luxuries we have in America….that nice hot shower, good schools, great beds to sleep in, convenience of EVERYTHING at our disposal….that closet full of Gymboree….”could you give it up for Me, and go….and stay?” And when I mentioned it to Mike that it’s happened TWICE, he admitted it happened to him just last week as well.
Now, I am definitely not saying that we are leaving the country to become Missionaries in Sudan or anything, but I find it odd that it’s happened not only to MYSELF twice, but now to Mike as well. And if nothing else, God is preparing us for SOMETHING, that’s pretty safe to say, and whatever or wherever it is, we will be ready. We have both committed our willing hearts to Him. In my prayer at the altar this morning, I had to admit my fear in doing that, but my TRUST does not waiver. I trust God and I’ve had enough experience with Him to know He does take care of us.
So there ya go: I have committed my heart to GO like He said. I have committed to actively start saving the money I am earning for more stupid STUFF to go for whatever God has in store for us. I am dedicated to do this. I have handed over my will to Christ and I will trust Him. Those are some mighty big words there….but I will strive to do better.
So, if you need a cute little custom outfit, the proceeds go for a really good cause…..or you feel God calling you to GIVE instead of GO, just let me know….but for sure, I need your prayers….