I am living my Mother’s life.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard this or have actually said it myself! There are some stark differences, but the commonality between us is our love for children. Both my Mom and I have a great love of children and have dedicated a large portion of our lives to children: raising them (our own AND others), teaching them, care for them, etc.
But….I am not my Mother. She is not my identity.
I am my own person. But finding my true person, my own identity has not been easy, I’m not even sure I’ve completely found her. I’m still searching for pieces…
I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, an artist, a clothes designer, a photographer, a student, a counselor, and most importantly, a follower and believer in Jesus Christ.
Some of those titles I’d like to change, some I’d like to drop altogether, some are out of necessity only, but those right now, define me. These are the titles that make up my being right now. My definition and stamp on life around me.
We’ve recently had issues with the boys (at separate times, but both times THIS year) acting out in ways that are out of character for them. So to help us find the answer, we met with a child therapist who sat down with us in a casual setting, listened to our interactions as a family, read through the one child’s journal assignment, and came to a ‘diagnosis’ rather quickly as to the problem: identity.
The boys have been lumped in together their entire lives. You did not say Austin, without saying Chandler. One did not play a sport without the other, one did not go without the other….etc. Now one has gone off in a totally different direction and left the other one struggling alone. He feels abandoned, confused and lost without the identity of the other brother, and he has been struggling to find out who he is, and what will define HIM as a person and put his own mark on the world. And this is a very scary place for a child to be. I know some adults who never discovered this, and have floundered throughout their entire lives, unsure, unsteady, and struggling.
I believe only recently, I’ve found more pieces to my puzzle and filled them in, or at least chiseled away at the pieces to make them fit. But the most important piece I’ve found, was my identity in Christ. I have matured to a deeper level of my faith, and I’ve drawn closer to God moreso than any other time in my life. I know WHO I am in Christ, and I’m realizing the goal and purpose that HE has for me! I’m not that mediocre Christian, content to sit on the pew and read along with the pastor, ignoring everything and everyone around me, then go home to work and my family, never to bring any of it into PLAY. He’s opened my eyes to SEE things I’ve never seen before! Hear things I’ve never heard before! And I’m DOING things I’ve never imagined I’d be EXCITED to do!
I see people everyday struggling with this very problem. They have no idea who they are, and no idea who they are in Christ. I do not believe we are just random people struggling on a planet to make a life for ourselves! I believe we are all here for a divine PURPOSE and our goal is to seek our CREATOR and accomplish that purpose! And yet….we have people simply content to struggle through life, never accomplishing anything. And that is a tragedy.
We need to find our IDENTITIES! If it helps to slap a fancy name on it and throw on a CAPE, more power to you! Whatever makes those super powers work for ya! Give me some pj bottoms and call me the Queen Mum if you so choose, but FIND that identity! What makes you WHO YOU ARE? What makes you happy and content in life? What words DEFINE you? As parents we are wise to help our children find it (on their own. If we slapped an identity on them, then it’s not THEIR identity is it?), encourage them to find their own place in the world. As adults, we pretty much have it down, although the puzzle pieces may change, but some DON’T! So PLEASE if you come read, take a second to leave a comment and give me some words that make up the puzzle of your identity! If you don’t know, just say you haven’t found it yet, and I’ll pray for you that God will reveal that to you.
But find it. Find out WHO you are. But more importantly, find out who YOU are in Christ! If you don’t know, you can email me and I’d be happy to share Christ with you!
And I’ll be encouraging my son to find himself. I’ll be helping him to find out who HE is, and what stamp he wants to leave behind on this big planet. And he won’t be alone.
I didn’t want to add a picture of one of the boys because I didn’t want anyone speculating over which son has been having issues. ;0) I wouldn’t want to embarrass him.