I love photography.
I mean, SERIOUSLY love photography. If I could do this full time and make ACTUAL money at it, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I am still learning and studying under some incredible ladies with some extraordinary talent ( Cyndi and Dawn to name a couple). And one day….when I grow up…I wanna be JUST like them… =-) So I’m studying my little heart out, and practicing all I can.
One of my last practice sessions were for my nieces and my baby sister. I love these girls so much and we have a sweet bond, so when I was asked by my Mom to do their school pictures, I JUMPED at the chance!
So last Saturday, I had a little time between our lunch with my mother in law and Austin’s football game to take some portraits with these beautiful little girls. I planned all week to do these! I knew JUST the place that I would be able to take the photos at that time of day, and still be in beautiful shade….in a beautiful area…..and none of it worked the way I wanted. The ice storm last December had taken out a lot of the trees and the cover just simply wasn’t there anymore to block out the sun and give me that beautiful shaded area I needed.
And….I discovered something about these beautiful girls that I did NOT know before. And I thought I knew everything!
These girls are GIRLY! And I mean GIRLY GIRLY GIRLY! They THINK they like nature, but they like the IDEA of nature! I took them to this beautiful park and asked the first one to lie down in the grass and she just LOOKED at me!
“Like…on the grass?”
And I quickly hear in the background from the other girls:
“I’m not laying down on the grass…..there are BUGS in that grass…..”
“Aunt Dana…you don’t want ALL of us to lay in the grass right?”
And that was my first clue that this practice portrait session I had dreamed about ALL week was NOT going to go as planned in my head.
I tried so hard. I seriously put my best effort into this session for 2 reasons: 1) these were for my MOTHER! I canNOT screw this up for my MOTHER! And 2) I LOVE these girls. I wanted to make take some beautiful portraits of these beautiful young ladies that I’m so proud of and love so much.
But, they were NOT going to make this easy for me. I would ask them to sit on a fallen log and the inspection process for bugs took longer than the polar caps took to FORM! I would ask them to lean on a tree and I would get the same process….”Aunt Dana, but there’s BUGS!” Some of my favorite, albeit most frustrating moments, were trying to get them to IGNORE the bugs or try to convice them the bugs were GONE! LOL “But I HEAR them!” “Aunt Dana, I can clearly SEE them, RIGHT THERE! LOOK!” And then I had the actual FREAK OUTS of swatting away bugs that came too close. Now those were pretty funny! LOL And I secretly believe the whacks I was taking on the back in the name of “there-was-a-bug-on-you” were fake. I think they were taking their frustrations out on me…..
I had taken them out of their element and thrown them into an environment they did not know or desire to know. And I think that is my secret fear knowing that God has called me to do missions of one sort or the other. I am afraid of eating weird food. I don’t like to be dirty. I don’t like bugs either. I don’t like to sweat. I don’t like to FEEL out of my element.
I’m afraid of looking stupid. Of not being effective. And this whole MISSION thing is scary for me. And I have to TRUST God that He will prepare me to do this. I have to trust God that no matter where He sends me, I will adjust and adapt…..uhmmmm…GRACIOUSLY. :0P I don’t want to be the screaming girl with the bug on her wall, or the crying girl that has to eat goat tongue. I want to leave GOD behind in those places!
And that is what I pray as I prepare to hit the road….somewhere…..
Lord prepare me. Make me wholly perfect to do this job that You sent me out to do. If I have to leave my comfort zone, give the ability to leave it graciously with a smile on my face and YOU in my heart. Help me to leave behind a legacy of You, and not one of “that-screaming-American-lady”. Give me patience and supernatural strength to go wherever You send me, whenever You send me, because my heart is Yours…in Jesus name.