1 Recipe for disaster….ready? Buckle up!
Take 4 kids and get them all up and dressed ready for church.
Stop the petty fights from the kids who stayed up longer than I said and are now tired and grumpy.
Dress the baby. Again. Explain to her that dresses ARE very nice and everyone will LOVE her pretty pretty dress!
Put tights BACK on Egg #3 while she is kicking and screaming. Explain that the tights go with her PRETTY PRETTY dress….Mr Hugh LOVES to see your pretty dresses…..We LOVE Mr Hugh…..
Brush Egg #3 hair and REPLACE the bow she has ripped out twice now. “See? It matches your dress and your tights!” Leave out the part where Mommy goes insane with the everything-must-match-syndrome….
Stop the fight between Egg #1 and Egg #2 over whose bunk is REALLY whose.
Grab the cookies for the object lesson for the Youth girls, bought yesterday at the store. All 3 boxes of them. Load them into car with Egg #3 who is still crying over not wanting to wear a dress. “I wan’ JEANS!”
DO NOT ROLL YOUR EYES.
Yell at Egg #2 because his shoes STILL are not on, and his hair is STILL not combed.
Reward Egg #1 and Egg #1’s good friend who got up and got dressed and got into the car, by not killing them along with the rest of the family. Good Egg #1!
Drive to church.
OH NO! WAIT….have a discussion with darling husband over WHY the car is vibrating. My side of the conversation went something like this: “uhhh….cough cough….I dunno….OK….if that’s what you think it is…..OK….moan moan moan…gasp….No, honey, I didn’t say that…I couldn’t get the word out because my hangy-down-thing is swollen and I choked on it. Yes, you can stop laughing now….” Now. Roll your eyes.
BANG! Thwap thwap thwap thwap.
No, that is NOT the sound Dana makes when she chokes on her hangy-down-thing-in-the-back-of-her-throat. BUT, if you guessed “What is the sound a tire makes when the TREAD separates” Then YOU WIN!
Oh yes….pull over on the side of the BUSY highway. DON’T CRY. Unload 4 kids. Wonder why NONE of the boys have their coats when it is in the 40’s out. Put Egg #3’s coat on and send the kids away from the car to stand shivering and wish they had listened to their O-SO-WISE-AND-WONDERFUL-MOTHER.
Watch dutiful husband try to change the tire. Watch dutiful husband search the back of the “new” car for jack. Watch in disbelief as dutiful husband comes up empty handed. NO JACK. Curse the car dealership. Silently. 😉
Tire still has air, so dutiful husband with NO jack, decides to TRY to limp back home. That’s a LONG and very slow drive.
We did make it to WalMart, the ONLY place open and available to buy a new tire. No damage done, except to my credit card. I will not say I didn’t cry over using it. I may have. We do NOT use our credit cards. You have to have money to pay them OFF…..oh goodness….I will not cry….I will not cry….I will not cry….
Wait an hour and a half wandering around WalMart with no money to buy anything. Explain in 1,000 words or less WHY Egg #1 and Egg #2 do NOT need a gun for Christmas. Explain in ONE look why Egg #3 does NOT need a gun that matches her dress. “and tights….AND BOW, Mommy!”….
But for days that come off as bad as these…I still have FAR MORE that happen something like this:
When he stands in the middle of the street and raises his hands….Oh Lord, I get goosebumps. So if I can find some joy in a morning like this….just listen and enjoy.