Another rousing edition of painful admissions disguised as ULTIMATE denials…Oh I’m a naughty girl…
I did NOT threaten to take Egg #3 to church totally NAKED if she did not get her clothes on.
I was NOT totally prepared to do so, and then dress her when we got there just so she’ll know I mean business….missy……
I was not totally bummed that all of my tape is MISSING and I could not start wrapping presents already. Seriously now….who took my tape?
I did not bare my soul over my complete heartache over a broken camera lens on my blog. I did NOT get my camera out to practice with my yucky, inferior zoom lens and then I did NOT cry over how the pictures turned out. 😦 I didn’t.. sniff..really…sniffle sniffle….but they are so not the same as before…
And I am TOTALLY NOT crying over how much Egg #1 is growing and starting to look so teenager-ish.
I did NOT actually contemplate wearing my pajamas to a formal, proper ladies tea at church. And my
partner-in-crime dear friend, did NOT ask all the ladies sitting at the table with us to do it too. And if we did do that, they would NOT have all agreed but the Pastor’s daughter who was mortified. Heh. And we did NOT all chuckle that we mortified the Pastor’s daughter. 🙂
We, being myself and my partner in crime dear friend, did NOT also contemplate giving plastic jellybean-pooping reindeers as our “hostess gifts” at the before-mentioned-formal-very-proper Ladies tea….at church. 🙂 We NEVER would have done that. That would have been totally juvenile….and vastly unfunny. 😉 :::snicker snicker:::::
I did NOT decorate my table, then look around at the other beautifully decorated tables and feel terribly inferior. And I did NOT then go out and spend an absurd amount of money to redecorate my table, just so I’ll fit in. Let me add, I wasn’t worried about COMPETING…I just didn’t want to win “Ugliest table” award, if there was one. The old ladies loved me, so I guess I did alright. HAIL! To the sweet old ladies that loved me! 🙂
And we did NOT discuss condoms at our table before the Tea began. I did NOT laugh hysterically when it was the SPEAKER discussing the condoms at our table. 😉 I told ya’ll, I’m totally normal….no “airs” here…. Our very-proper-totally-respectable speaker did NOT happen to mention how much she’d rather be sitting at our table instead of where she was. 😉 BAHAHAHAHAHA I’m the hostess-with-the-mostest by golly!
ANd I most CERTAINLY did NOT send a friend request to someone on Facebook just because I know she doesn’t like me. And I did not laugh myself silly when she accepted!
I did NOT have to retype condom 3 times because I didn’t know how to spell it….and then gave up and hit spell check. Heh.
Oh yes…..I have to say, I am most definitely NOT God’s bright and shining star everyday. But I see my failures and I actually do try to do better. I am most thankful for God’s mercy daily on my soul. And that’s the truth on a post full of lies. 😉
Now run over to MckMama’s blog and read some other total liars too…. 😉 I’m not the ONLY naughty girl!