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Alright…I’ve been convicted. UGH. Although God did not SAY the words “load of crap“, I feel His burning stare and know that my thankful list from the before post was just that….”a load of crap”. I didn’t FEEL thankful….still probably don’t, but I’ve been convicted to look DEEPER and do better.

Here are my struggles right now, that I’m looking DEEPER into:

Austin-I am THANKFUL for Austin. I am thankful that he is smart and FUNNY! I am thankful for his company. For his maturity (even though it is fleeting at times, it IS there). He is a JOY to spend time with. He has a GIVING heart that is matchless in boys I see his own age, or even remotely CLOSE to his age! He still talks to me. Even though I’m grumpy and short with him, he will still TALK TO ME. I’m a dork of a Mom and yet, he loves me. He DOES help me, not always how I want, or when I NEED it, but he DOES help. I need to appreciate him more.

Mike-I’m thankful he hasn’t just thrown in the towel completely with my moodiness. I know he wouldn’t, and I’m thankful. He is a GOOD man. He is good to other people and has a giving heart! He is an INCREDIBLE Dad! Simply INCREDIBLE! I do not fear him in any way. He is INTELLIGENT! Even though I don’t want to constantly to hear about Richard the Lionheart or Wars or Politics or Greeks, I am thankful that I have a husband that has a PASSION for life and a hunger for constantly learning. And that he talks to me. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that he takes enough interest in ME, to talk to me. I am thankful he takes the trash out and folds laundry, puts his clothes away and cleans up after himself. It may not be on MY time, but he does it and I need to appreciate him more.

Chandler-I am thankful for his smile. His happy heart all the time. The constant dancing around and flippant attitude may get on my nerves, but I have a son that is ENJOYING the stuffin’s out of life, and doesn’t mind expressing it! He isn’t OVER THE TOP, but he is JOYFUL! I am thankful that he still comes and curls up with me in my chair. I am thankful that he still loves me enough to desire to sit with me. I am thankful that I am the one he seeks out to tell his day to. I need to listen closer and not shoo him away when I’m in the middle of doing something. I need to appreciate that he does still come to me to tell me stuff.

Brooklyn-she is my GIRL. She was my precious gift when I didn’t think I’d have one. She let me dress her up and put bows in her hair for 2 YEARS! Now, she has an opinion and I need to respect that. She is 3 now and wants to do things HER way. She is frustrated with herself and her surroundings and it is a part of her development that makes her throw those fits. I know this, and need to be more patient with her. She is intelligent and FUNNY and has the sweetest voice EVER! She still let’s me cuddle me with her and she calls me her “Snuggle Mom”. I am thankful for this little gift.

I am THANKFUL I have a J*O*B . The kids may get on my LAST nerve, but I am thankful I can earn money and stay home. I am thankful I am earning money. Christmas may seem tight sometimes, but we have MORE than enough, we will not go without, and we were able to GIVE more than we receive. That is the biggest gift EVER. That is the lesson I wanted my kids to learn! And they may NOT understand it all the time, but they are children. Children do not understand everything all the time. But they will remember THIS year. And God will bless them. Yes, I am thankful for my JOB. And they act like babies because they are babies. I need to find my patience again. They take their socks off and eat them because they are BABIES. I will find new chew toys for them to chew on THOSE and not their socks. They cry because that is the only voice they have. The only form of communication they can use. If I am tired, I will just go to bed earlier. What doesn’t get done, just does not get done. And I will be OK with that. I am THANKFUL I have a job.

I do have my thankful thursday post after this one, that is alright, if only half-hearted. But the 12 days of Giving are listed and that is important. I just had to redo my Thankful Thursday list.

I feel better.

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EDITED to add the video at the top from heidi’s blog. I just seriously needed it. I seriously need me some David Crowder cds. Desperatly.Want.David Crowder.Cds. Worship and otherwise…

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