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Well…try as I might to prevent it, it’s come.  At least on Sunday. I have 2 more days…. I can joke and continue to say I’m 28, can change the year of my birth every year on MySpace to maintain my 28th birthday…. but that’s all it truly is:  a joke.  It’s just funny.

So the truth of the matter is, I’ve hit 36.  Happy Birthday to me.

And as sad as I find that number, the alternative is worse, so I better just suck it up.  I wouldn’t go back to 28 anyway.

So in honor of my 36th birthday, here are some things I’ve learned.  And some things I SHOULD have learned.  We’ll start with the latter…

Things I should have learned in 36 years…

–where socks go.  Seriously?  Where are they??  Who knew boys could LOSE so many socks and they NEVER return??

–spitting out of a moving vehicle. I will not elaborate.

–never leave money out so your husband knows you have it. I’m not SAYING hide it……but don’t leave it out.  It WILL NOT BE THERE WHEN YOU RETURN TO SPEND IT. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

–Don’t let your husband know you have chocolate of any kind. It will not be there when you return….

–arguing with a 2 year old.

–arguing with a 3 year old.

–arguing with a 43 year old. 😉

–Laughing too hard after you’ve had 3 babies. Enough said.

–Thinking boys can get up on their own.

–Puppies are cute. For about 30 minutes…then they’re just nasty…

–Saving money. DO IT.

–Stress eating is bad. could have saved myself SO much pain…

Things I HAVE learned in 36 years…

–My Mother is usually always right. Period.

–Paid days off SERIOUSLY rock.

–Pepsi is God’s gift to ME. Yes….it really is.  Just me.

Reading God’s Word EVERYDAY is amazing. God rocks.

Mean people suck. At any age…mean people suck.

–The baby urge never goes away. 😦 Anyone have a baby girl I can have? Anyone? I promise she will wear Gymboree EVERYDAY! …..and matching hairbows…. 😉

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Gymboree rocks. Oh the love…..

–Large women shouldn’t run. Neither should naked men. :X I’m not elaborating….hide the video, Mom…

–Children smell like dirty dogs after they come in from playing outside. Just accept and acknowledge this fact…it’s true, don’t try to hide it.

–Bubble baths are heaven.

–A husband that still makes you laugh after (nearly) 17 years of marriage, is a gift from God. My husband rocks. But still….don’t leave money out. 😉

–Working out sucks. Oh come on…it DOES! You can’t sugarcoat it….at 6 in the morning, at 7 at night…with the Ipod, watching TV…it SUCKS! Anyone who says differently lies. 😀

–HORMONES ARE REAL. And if they are out of whack….I am the Incredible Hulk and can’t even help it. It’s just the truth and I’m honest about it. “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” 3 days out of the month, I should live in a cave. Not funny, but there you have it….

–Aging bites.

–Laugh lines are real. But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop.

–Pink streaks in your hair is ULTRA FUN! Don’t judge…call it a mid-life crisis if you want to….but it makes me happy. Next year, I plan to wear purple and learn how to spit , so hush. 😉

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Questions I have for God in my 36 years…

–Why would you make the lovable, cuddly, SUPER UBER SWEET newborn stage last 2 months, but the teen years go on ***FOR YEARS***? I mean….that’s borderline mean…

–Why did you make bodies gain weight? Ya know, a one size fits all body would have been PRETTY SWEET!

–Why make our bodies age at all? Ya know…stop and think about it….we get OLDER, but our bodies stay the SAME… 😀 I’d say that would be pretty SWEET really….life expectancy doesn’t have to change….just one day, we’re dead. But with a REALLY nice body….and all the WORK we’d be able to accomplish for You….I mean really…it’d be a WIN-WIN. 😉

Things I’d like to DO in my 36th year:

–Mission trip. Yes…for real. I want to go so badly I can’t STAND it some days! Realistically, I don’t know HOW…I have kids, a husband with no time off for me to do it, and I have a JOB that I have to have money for….but it doesn’t take away the PASSION for this. I want to use my Photography skills on the Mission field. Desperately.

–Read the Bible all the way through. Already on my way….

–actually send Christmas cards out. Oh yes…mine are STILL sitting on the desk…

–Lose 50 pounds. Grrrr…..

–Be kinder. Guess it would help if I had those hormones checked again…. 😉

–Be REALLY effective for Christ.

–Have a weekend alone with my husband. Not sure if that will EVER happen…but it’s a goal at least.

–Be on my way to a NEW job. Oh please, Lord…please please please….

Obtainable gifts I’d like for my 36th Birthday: (since veneers or dentures, gastric bypass or the lap band, and a Chinese baby girl are all things I DESPERATELY want, but are sadly NOT obtainable.)

Beautiful by Estee Lauder. I have loved this since HIGH SCHOOL and have NEVER EVER had any. Sad ain’t it?

–A personal Chef. Oh wait….OBTAINABLE goals…pooh….

–My nails done. Oh YIPPEE!! Wouldn’t that be nice??

–A personal Masseur Shoot…I’m REALLY trying to be serious here….

–George Foreman grill. YES!

–New measuring cups and spoons. I HAD them…where did they all go?? Oh wait….visions of little boys digging with them in the backyard…using the cups to make mud pies….Nevermind…I know where they went….

–Photography equipment. A new lens…the Nikon 85mm would be AWESOME! Indoor studio lighting….backdrop stand and a backdrop….oh Momma!! WOW that would make my WHOLE year….

–Not to have to cook the ENTIRE day. I hate cooking. I just don’t enjoy it….I’ve TRIED…and I don’t want to do it. Please don’t make me.

It’s just a number “they” say. And the alternative is death….so being 36 can’t be all that bad. And the wisdom I’ve gained is priceless. So I’m another year older, and the laugh lines around my eyes are fast marching across my face….but I’m still gonna laugh. I’m gonna enjoy life, for if I’ve never learned anything else, ENJOY LIFE. All of it. Rejoice in the hard times. Rejoice in the GOOD times. A GOOD hard laugh after a long cry feels GOOD! Sex after 16 years of marriage is GOOD! (YES I said it!! I’m “old” I can say stuff like that now! It’s not like no one knew we did it, for goodness sakes!) Hearing your husband breathe next to you in the bed is wonderful. Snuggling with a sweet 3 year old is memorable. Having your 13 year old curl up next to you in your chair and watch TV will make you cry. Hearing someone tell you THANK YOU or I LOVE YOU is precious. Being able to read my Bible whenever and wherever I want is UNIMAGINABLE. Talking to my Mom everyday on the phone is something to never take for granted.

So march on laugh lines…I’m embracing it….and I’ll enjoy my 36th birthday on Sunday. 😀

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