I just find this so funny…God has a BIG sense of humor…He really, really does….
The theme for today’s Thankful Thursday is Security. Not our salvation, at least not mine, I am secure in that. But most of us struggle all the time with our INsecurities, at least I know I do.
I’m insecure about my looks, my actions, my abilities, my talents, my parenting, my wifing….is wifing a word? According to my spell check it is not….
One of my insecurities that I have been dealing with the last couple of weeks is my photography. (Are you guys SICK of hearing about that yet? Sorry….) I am in a photography group of some of the MOST talented photographers I have ever seen, and I’m lucky to be learning what I can under them. But when I look at what I, and then what THEY do, I am lacking. So I have been fighting the promptings of my husband to GO PROFESSIONAL already…He just doesn’t understand. I doubt myself all the time, my abilities, my talents, my eye, and my equipment. Will all the knowledge I’ve learned under these amazing women FAIL me when I need it most? Will someone actually PAY professional photographer prices for MY photos?
So Mike and I have been praying, if you happened to catch my last post, for wisdom and guidance (and FUNDS) to be able to go ALL out with my photography. I’m talking having the equipment to be able to do WEDDINGS and any other events that come my way. Portraits are my passion, but in my heart of hearts, I WANT to shoot Mission trips. That’s what is in my heart. If I were to go ALL out professional, as in weddings, it would free me up to QUIT my FULL time job and do Mission trips.
That’s where we’re at. And then today, my phone rings from someone in WASHINGTON STATE who has found my website and LOVES my photography. But….where are my wedding photos? I…don’t do weddings. Please remember, this is a COLD call. I have no idea who this woman is, it is NOT a referral, she has found my website that a friend did for me. All she has to go on ARE MY PHOTOS.
Of course, I hmmmed-hawwwwed around and let her know I’ve never shot a wedding before/I’m NOT equipped to do a wedding but she loves my photos and she persisted.
So….it looks like I’m doing my FIRST wedding. (where’s that shocked-faced smilie? I need that….)
It’s NOT a BIG one. Just a little one….but it comes on the tail of Mike and I praying for WISDOM and GUIDANCE.
And that simply blows my mind….God CARES about what I love. He CARES that I am insecure about myself and He sends little reminders to show how much He loves me. I am blown away at my God…
O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get the funds to do this, or IF this is God’s plan for me, but I know He’s paying attention…I know He cares…and I trust Him.
Happy Thankful Thursday…