Obviously, most readers of my rambling blog know that I have been desiring to do God’s will. And I feel led specifically towards missions….missions photography to be exact. Problem is: I’ve never BEEN on a mission trip. Like ever. I don’t even have a passport.
The Human side of me doesn’t like to be hot, dirty, and out of my comfort zone. But the God-led side of me is GUNG-HO excited at the IDEA of ever going!
In the past (before my Experiencing God class), I thought that doing anything FOR Christ, was better than sitting on my hiney doing NOTHING AT ALL. But now I’ve learned that just because it’s a GOOD thing to do, doesn’t mean it’s a GOD thing for to do…..if God has not called you to do it. He may call someone ELSE to do it….but if He hasn’t called you SPECIFICALLY to do it, than it’s done by YOUR power and not God’s power at all. I do not want to do DANA-sized tasks, because frankly, I’m cheap and lean a little on the lazy side at times. I want to do GOD-sized tasks that He called, He led, He provided, and He enabled to happen.
Clear as mud?
Well, if you are still lingering in hopes it gets clearer and more intelligent, well…..this is it, folks. Doesn’t get much better than this.
But here is why I’m writing all this confusing stuff in the first place: I have an opportunity to go to Mexico for 8 days in July.
Our church is taking some of the college kids and I’ve been asked to go.
Now, my first GUT reaction is YES YES YES!!
BUT, my human-ness is saying: How in the world am I going to come up with the money to do this? How can I miss 10 days of WORK to go? I still have BILLS to pay and I don’t have sick/vacation days with my job in order to go. Who’s going to keep the kids while Mike is at work because HE is using his ONLY vacation days he has for church camp in June? If he takes off for camp, he has no days for my mission trip.
So, Thursday and Friday during my prayer times, I laid ALL of this mess at Jesus’ feet. First, am I to go at all? I don’t want to go JUST because it’s a mission trip. I want it to be God’s plan, not mine. And, I don’t know if this is testing God (I hope it’s not, because I don’t want to be UNFAITHFUL and UNTRUSTING of my loving God), but I did ask Him to be very clear with me, yell really loud, and if a certain thing happens, than I’ll know for SURE it’s from Him.
I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to go, but I have NO clue where $500 is going to come from! I’ll be lucky to have an extra $5 for my ladies tea ticket this week!
And did you know that passports cost $100?!?!?
Our Experiencing God class teaches us that faith requires action. So, I have been praying fervently about this since Wed night, and since I feel like God is seriously calling me to do it, I printed out all of the paperwork to apply for my passport. And then sat at the kitchen table and filled them all out Friday afternoon after my quiet time. I can’t send off for it, because I don’t have $100….but I have them filled out! That’s ACTION!
So, if you have a little extra second or two in your quiet time, could you maybe say a little prayer for a scared Mom in Oklahoma that feels led to do a Mission trip to Mexico? For ME, this is a GOD-sized task that on my own I would not be able to do. But, I have faith in this loving God, that if He called me to DO IT, He will equip me with EVERYTHING I NEED to accomplish His plan.
And I’m learning to trust Him.