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So….I’ve been accused of being “too stressed” all the time.

Yeah….OK….whatever. Shaddup.

I work a full time job 5 days a week. I care for 6 children everyday to pay my portion of the bills and feed my family. Oh and stupid gas in my car that I haven’t been able to drive in weeks, but that hasn’t stopped me from putting 100% of the gas in it that Mike has been driving since his truck is in the shop.

I am licensed through the state which means they can come into my home and inspect under the finest of microscopes survey every inch of it without notice at any given time. Which means, my house must be CLEAN and ORDERLY at all times. Now, you care for 6 kids, the oldest 2 being ONLY 3 years old, and keep your house CLEAN and ORDERLY at all times. Oh and manage to keep laundry done. This means, everyday at naptime, I have to pick up the living room and vacuum it. And picking up the kitchen floor and sweeping AND mopping it. Everyday.

Oh, and naptime is also the ONLY time I seem to have to do my Bible study. Don’t forget that….must make time for that.

In my spare time, apart from my full time job, I am trying to start a photography business. Which means, when I take clients, like a wedding that I took over 400 photos, I have to have time to edit these photos:

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I mean, these bad boys aren’t gonna edit themselves! I had an hour the other night and actuall got 20 pictures finished! But that’s how long it can take to edit….Now, take into consideration, I have easily 200 photos to edit from this ONE wedding….oh and don’t leave the Sr pictures that I worked so hard to finish editing before the wedding, but only got half done. So then I was editing Sr photos, AND wedding….

And I have another Sr session this Monday. So wedding MUST be finished before then. MUST BE FINISHED.

Chandler’s HUGE report last week.

Austin’s headaches and needing glasses.

Brooklyn’s crying fits and not wanting to leave MY side. ALL.THE.TIME.

Fellowship this weekend. Dana, can you host a table at the tea again? Can you pick up this? New baby started. Losing 2 kids and their income. $286 pair of glasses. Mom, I only have 1 pair of jeans. Mom, my shoes have holes again. Mommy, wipe my bottom….

Go here, do this, say that, pay this, OUT OF LUNCH MONEY AGAIN, In house suspension, Are my pictures done yet? Can you have it done by this date? Can I see my pictures yet? Oh, I don’t have the money to pay you right now….Sorry, Mrs. Suggs, that’s not a covered item on your insurance, oh, they threw up last night and again this morning, oops, she has strep, can you call this person? Have to do more visits! Did you plan anything? Camp coming up, have you learned this? Are my pictures done yet? Dana, I know I’ve been a royal WITCH to you in the past and ruined your vacation, but can you do my Easter pictures for TRADE?

Who left the milk out AGAIN? Mom, we’re out of milk, AGAIN. Don’t feel good, don’t wanna do it, can’t make me do it, gonna hide til you stop asking……oh, but Mom, I need more _______(FILL IN THE BLANK)____ I’ll love you til I die if you get it for me!

And in all this chaos is Dana TRYING to do the right thing. TRYING to maintain sanity, TRYING to read her Bible everyday, staying up late to edit or catch up on her reading, TRYING to Experience God everyday, TRYING to memorize the scriptures, TRYING to keep up with the demands everyday and not fall apart.

So WHY would I be stressed? The only half hour of PEACE in my day is spent in God’s word. In prayer. In my Bible study. Lord, I’m losin’ it…..it’s slippin’ away really fast….

And then Mexico. Yes, I feel like I’m supposed to go. I feel like God is telling me to “Get your feet wet. You have more to do. Mexico’s only the beginning.” Oh but that’s gonna cost you $1100. No money, trust God, don’t worry.

I didn’t even get my picture in this week in time for the iHeartfaces contest:

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And I have NO IDEA why I’m stressed….it’s only that 30 minutes keeping me from the funny farm….

Oh, and Mom, what’s for dinner? Can we go out? That, AGAIN? I don’t like that, I won’t eat that, that’s disgusting! Let’s go out, but YOU’LL have to pay for it, I’m out of money….is that smoke? Should I call 911?

Oh, and I don’t know WHY you’re stressed….I don’t EVER stress…..maybe you should work out more…..

{sigh} Lord, I’m tired. I want to do it all, and what I have I’m messing up because it’s too much. Can I just lay it here at Your feet? I’ll wipe the bottoms, but all the worry, can I just leave it here? The stress takes up a lot of room, but I’ll try to keep it in neat little piles. Thank You for the roof. Thank You for the job opportunities. Thank You for the incredible deal on Austin’s contacts. Thank You for keeping our bills paid. Thank You my head has not exploded. Help me, please, not lose it. Help me, please, get it all done. Help me, please, learn to say no. Help me, please, surrender it ALL. I’m sorry for my crappy attitude. I’m sorry for my impatience with others. I’m sorry for my lack of faith and lack of trusting You. I’m trying, Lord. …..in Jesus name…..

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