Thank you, Rachel, for daring us to take our embarrassing moments, our faux pas, the incidents we just WISH never happened….and put them on display for the world to read.
My name is Phoebe.* Phoebe Buffet.* 😉 And this is a true story.
Last week, my dear honey, Mike, had surgery to remove his tonsils, uvula, repair his deviated septum, and gut his sinuses. The surgery I teasingly referred to as: taking his face off. Cuz that’s the good wife that I am….
Surgery went well, the recovery however did not. What was supposed to be a 30 minute-hour recovery time, turned into 7 hours long. I was stressed, I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do.
Anyway, Mike was supposed to have been home by the time the boys came home, so when he was STILL in recovery, I had to pick them up from school and bring them to the hospital. Something scary for them. This has never happened to us before.
So after waiting for 4 and half hours to even SEE my husband, they allow me back and then I went to bring the kids back to see him. This was not a pretty sight: their normally strong, healthy Dad, looked like a very old man sitting in a wheelchair, slumped over, sleeping with….is that DROOL coming out of his mouth? OK, probably not, but it would have added to the story. 😉
So I proceed to explain what all the machines are and what the doctor did in surgery. I said:
“They fixed his nose, took his tonsils out, and clipped his uvula. They actually cut it OFF!” (thinking this would be cool to them, what was I thinking?)
Seeing the confused look on Chandler’s face, I clarified:
“You know, the hangy-down thing…..”
Question answered with a “oh….yeah…..”
I think, conversation over, they are overwhelmed being in a hospital with their Dad looking very UN-Dad-like.
15 minutes later, Chandler is eyeballing his Dad very closely then leans over to whisper in my ear:
“How does he use the bathroom then? And will his pee-pee EVER grow back?”
{TOTAL SHOCK}
Then the kind of laughter you can only do in recovery rooms: stifled and snorting.
Poor Mike….he didn’t find it funny THEN….and he only half chuckled about it Easter Sunday when I told him Mom and brother what was said.
Who knows if he will EVER find it funny, but, I for one, find it *HIL-ARIOUS*! BAHAHAHAHAHA
That’s my Chandler!
Okay I am in the middle giving the State Tests and I just read your story and I am trying to stifle my laugh and I think I snorted! Oh my!
YIKES! Well, now, that would make for a nice lawsuit, wouldn’t it? Poor Mike.. just the thought of that probably set his recovery back 2 or 3 or 20 days. ouchie. If I were a man, I’d probably be shivering right about now. But I’m not.. so instead I’m just laughing. Can’t wait for Mr. Daddy to read THIS one! ;<)
Okay, I am laughing so hard right now, I could just picture Eli saying something like that. Out of the mouths of babes, you never know what to expect.
Good Lord woman… I have a turkey sandwich stuck in my mouth and I’m thinking it’s permanently lodged there because I am laughing hysterically.
You told that one PERFECTLY and it is just hilarious!
Then I go to the comments and read Pam’s… and I am CRACKING UP imagining my poor sweet husband’s response when he gets home to read this!
I guarantee you there’ll be plenting of grimacing and empathizing and maybe a guffaw or twelve…
Still can’t get over this… and I thought “uvula” sounded like a GIRL thing, LOL.
And I loved the “Phoebe Buffet” reference… you are one silly woman!
Thanks for joining in… I hopped from Pam’s to your site and have been laughing for the last 10 minutes!
“O” my….my poor little mind is just spinning..Your poor, poor hubby. I can’t even imagine having my Uva-thingy cut off….*snicker* and the mental scarring that your have caused in your younger male offspring, will probably take years of therapy to overcome that one..ROFL.. Just one careless moment, one misplaced comment, and the damage is done.. One can only imagine the night mares that await that poor, poor lad..
Devious Septums, gutted sinus’s and removed Uva-thingys AAAAaaaaHHHHhhhh!!! the terror!!! the horror!!! there may even be a day mare or to two overcome also…
I don’t know who to pity and pray for more: the Lad, or the Man…
OMG!!! TOO funny!!! This one is gonna cause a chuckle for years!!!
That was just too funny. I love the stuff that comes out of our childrens mouths. He is a cutie.