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So, I had this thought last night:

For 30 years, I lived my life and gave no control whatsoever to Christ.   He can live here, but don’t try to be telling me what to do.  Don’t try to, like, TAKE OVER or anything….I lived my Christian life as a proverbial teenager.   You can be my parent, but don’t try to parent me.

WOW…that’s a little sad to think about.  

That’s a LOT sad to think about.

And I wasn’t struck with lightning?  Seriously?  Oh I would have done away with me YEARS ago! 😉

I was totally selfish in my Christian walk. 

My life was lived for ME, what I wanted, when I wanted it, how I wanted it, with whom I wanted to do it with…..ME ME ME……

But, OH!  BLESS ME LORD!  Lord, help me with this…..so and so is sick……our finances are a mess……but I really DO want to follow You and do the right thing……but the Bible is so BORING in places!  I just don’t have time for all that stuff……I don’t mind serving at church, but ya know, to actually build a strong relationship, I just can’t do that right now.  I’m so busy…..oh but could You give us favor? 

Oh yeah, I would have struck me down LOOOOOONG ago.  🙂

But honestly, since my eyes are opened, I am seeing so many other Christians doing the SAME thing I did!  And unwilling to take that extra step to actually BUILD a relationship with God.   I’m safe from hell…..good enough for me!

I’ve been reading in Joshua this week, and something just stood out to me.   (A lot of stuff has, but I won’t bore you with all of it. 😉  )

In Joshua 9, we see the Israelites conquering city after city and spreading fear all over the land they are in because of what God is doing for them.    One city decides it’s going to try and TRICK Joshua into signing a peace treaty with them. 

They go to great lengths to send messengers that look as though they have traveled a LONG way.  They didn’t just wear old clothes and shoes that have been well worn, they went as far as moldy bread and old wineskins!  Pretty smart!   Remember, they live in the same region as the Israelites!  Their travel isn’t far. 

They are pretty convincing and so they sign a peace treaty with this city that they will never attack them even though God had instructed them to rid the land of ALL outsiders. 

But, notice this verse:

But they did not consult with the Lord.

That made me think, how many decisions, no matter the size, have I made without consulting the Lord!

I won’t answer that here, but suffice it to say, I had a nice long talk with the Lord that went something like:  I’m SO sorry…..I’m really really sorry…..WOW, I’ve been doing it ALL wrong….Lord, please forgive me…..

So then I got looking and REALLY noticing verses:

Genesis 26:5 

I will do this because Abraham listened to me and obeyed all my requirements, commands, decrees, and instructions.

Exodus 4:9 

 And if they don’t believe you or listen to you even after these two signs, then take some water from the Nile River and pour it out on the dry ground. When you do, the water from the Nile will turn to blood on the ground.” 


Exodus 5:2 


  “Is that so?” retorted Pharaoh. “And who is the Lord? Why should I listen to him and let Israel go? I don’t know the Lord, and I will not let Israel go.”

Leviticus 26:27&28

“If in spite of all this you still refuse to listen and still remain hostile toward me,  then I will give full vent to my hostility. I myself will punish you seven times over for your sins.

And those are only some of the MANY MANY references to the cost of DISOBEDIENCE and NOT listening to Christ!


Look around you.

Thank Jesus for not killing you LOOOOOOONG ago. 

OK, I’m done.   You done?  Let’s carry on.

I’m learning now to tune that ear towards Christ and actually LISTEN to Him now.  I’m spending time with Him so that when He speaks, I have a better ear for His voice.  

And my desires have totally changed.  I know I’ve said it before, but I’m still noticing things here and there that my taste has definitely changed with.   For example, and I’m a little ashamed to say this outloud, it was one of my guilty pleasures….I liked watching Kathy Griffin.  I know, I KNOW!   She’s AWFUL!  And I laughed and laughed and LAUGHED when I watched her!   I KNOWWWWW!  I’m TERRIBLE! 

But last night, I was watching her show and my jaw just DROPPED open!   Wait….What?  Did she just SAY that??   Did you HEAR that?  You heard that too?   Yeah….I’m on it….changing it now…..

No desire……thank you, I’d rather spend my time with something else……

That’s the price of obedience. 

But it’s one I’m more than willing to make!


The last Senior photo I did last week for a new client.   Nothing really to do with my obedience epiphany….except, maybe, all these new clients are God’s way of rewarding me for my obedience…..perhaps?  Could be……I’ll ask Him. 😉