I don’t know if I can top Rachel’s pee story….I don’t think ANYTHING can top that story…..

….but I suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease. The more you know, the better you’ll understand.

But one thing I do not EVER EVER EVER do is ask a woman if she is pregnant or how far along she is. I do not EVER do that. I’m a Big Girl myself, and I know, this is something you don’t ever do.

But, I suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease…

We had a new young lady in Sunday School a few weeks ago and I introduce myself to her, ask her name, her age, ya know…..making small talk. And I notice that this girl is READY TO POP at any time. I know for certain she is pregnant so I didn’t feel weird asking her. And ya know, WOMAN’S INTUITION and all….I didn’t want her to feel awkward being in a Youth department and the elephant in the room of her pregnancy. I wanted to be the nice Sunday School teacher to put her at ease.

So I ask:

Idiot: So, when are you due?

New Girl: I’m not pregnant.

Idiot: (in my head) CRAP!! CRAP CRAP CRAP! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK! THINK QUICK!!) But what actually comes out of my mouth is totally unintelligible.

New Girl: I just had a baby though.

Idiot: (Oh thank GOD! Please say YESTERDAY or something….) Oh! When did you have the baby? (PLEASE say yesterday or last week so I don’t feel COMPLETELY stupid…)

New Girl: August.

Hanging head in shame….I just simply can’t believe I broke the Cardinal Rule. You do NOT ask that question. I don’t care if the baby is visibally bungy-ing by it’s umbilical cord….you do NOT ever ask that question.

And I’m sure she’ll never ever be back again. Sorry, Jeff, you can fire me if you need to….. 😉 I just get so NERVOUS talking to new people! I panicked.

Click on the True Story Tuesday button up top and read along!

I’m so ashamed….