I don’t know if I can top Rachel’s pee story….I don’t think ANYTHING can top that story…..
….but I suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease. The more you know, the better you’ll understand.
But one thing I do not EVER EVER EVER do is ask a woman if she is pregnant or how far along she is. I do not EVER do that. I’m a Big Girl myself, and I know, this is something you don’t ever do.
But, I suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease…
We had a new young lady in Sunday School a few weeks ago and I introduce myself to her, ask her name, her age, ya know…..making small talk. And I notice that this girl is READY TO POP at any time. I know for certain she is pregnant so I didn’t feel weird asking her. And ya know, WOMAN’S INTUITION and all….I didn’t want her to feel awkward being in a Youth department and the elephant in the room of her pregnancy. I wanted to be the nice Sunday School teacher to put her at ease.
So I ask:
Idiot: So, when are you due?
New Girl: I’m not pregnant.
Idiot: (in my head) CRAP!! CRAP CRAP CRAP! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK! THINK QUICK!!) But what actually comes out of my mouth is totally unintelligible.
New Girl: I just had a baby though.
Idiot: (Oh thank GOD! Please say YESTERDAY or something….) Oh! When did you have the baby? (PLEASE say yesterday or last week so I don’t feel COMPLETELY stupid…)
New Girl: August.
Hanging head in shame….I just simply can’t believe I broke the Cardinal Rule. You do NOT ask that question. I don’t care if the baby is visibally bungy-ing by it’s umbilical cord….you do NOT ever ask that question.
And I’m sure she’ll never ever be back again. Sorry, Jeff, you can fire me if you need to….. 😉 I just get so NERVOUS talking to new people! I panicked.
Click on the True Story Tuesday button up top and read along!
I’m so ashamed….