So, I’ve been beating myself up a bit after getting it wrong with the Mexico trip.
But I’ve been very blessed with a very wise Momma. She called me the other day and she started off the conversation, not with “Hi!” or “Well, I’ve been meanin’ to tell you….” or “How’s my FAVORITE daughter?” (OK, she wouldn’t have said that, seeing that I’m not an ONLY daughter…), no, instead, she begins with:
“What have you learned?”
Now there’s a way to start a call….
“Huh? What do you mean? What have I learned?”
“You know, from all of this, what have you learned? God would not have brought you all the way through this without you learning a lesson. So what is it?”
I’m struck dumb for a minute.
What have I learned?
I wasn’t sure how to answer this at first, I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself…..
….pity party…..table for one…..
But then, God in all of His infinite wisdom, let me know:
I went from someone feeling inadequate and unusable…..to someone bolder and wiser and so in love with my God.
I went from someone scared of everything…..to someone willing to step outside myself and rely on God’s strength.
I went from someone who doesn’t trust that God will take care of me….to someone willing to put it all out there for God: “Lord, this is what I have, this is what I cannot handle, this is what I’m scared over”, and then I just have to trust Him. And then I get this email… ;)
I went from someone not willing to go….to someone so excited I gotta sit on my hands to keep from wavin’ at everybody. (that’s my little shout-out to my Daddy, he taught me well. Love you, Dad!)
But seriously, in all honesty, I went back to the last place I heard God’s voice on this subject, and I waited.
Here’s my conclusion Mommy-style:
Chandler, when he gets excited about something, can literally jump up and down and his words will stumble over themselves trying to get out. Brooklyn, when she is excited, will dance in circles and yell in her not-so-lady-like-voice-but-incredibly-like-her-Momma’s “WAHOOO!!!”. Austin’s eyes get large and his face breaks out in this enormous grin and he shouts, “REALLY?? REALLY???”
So, being the Momma, after given the excited news of whatever-it-is to my children, they will do whatever it is I ask them to do. They fall over each other in their excitement to please the Giver-of-the-Wonderful-news.
Now, these jobs I give the Excited Children, may or may not be done exactly as I asked. They will leave it half finished or in a lot of cases, do it completely wrong. Not because they wish to upset the Giver-of-the-Wonderful-news….but they are excited, and they either don’t listen completely, or just do their own thing trying to please me, the-Giver-of-the-Wonderful-news.
This, in every form was me. I was so excited to realize that the Creator of the Universe desires MY company and has asked me to DO A JOB….that I jumped at the first chance of a Mission trip I saw. Surely God means THIS one….surely He must want me to do ALL of them….I can please Him with my willingness to serve….which is wrong thinking, and a blog for a later time.
So, there, in a rambling nutshell, is my answer to my Mom’s question put so boldly to me.
That…..that is what I’ve learned.