So, for those that do not
stalk follow me on Facebook, here’s where we’re at:
My husband walked in the door today at 1:15, roughly 3 hours and 45 minutes early from his job of 7 years. I asked him what was wrong because he never comes home that early unless he’s sick. And he looks at me and says:
I don’t want you to stress out……but I was laid off today.
Have you ever had one of those moments when your head suddenly starts swimming, your ears feel like they’ve suddenly filled with cotton, and your stomach just drops?
Yeah, it felt like that.
We’re one of those families that live pay check to pay check and have roughly about $37 in our savings. Yes, that’s dollars with NO zeroes behind it. We have no “safety net” or “family to lean on”. We can lean on them, but my Momma is little….I’d squash her. They are always there to “lean on” emotionally and spiritually, but as in helping out with bills or whatever until we get through this…..nope. We’re all alone there.
I am the one that tends to FREAK OUT. Seriously…like as in panic attacks. And for some reason, every time I feel that panic coming on, I get this peace. It may be shock, but I’m thinking it’s more along the lines of the Holy Spirit keeping me in check. There’s been several times in the last few hours that I feel that panic start easing up….like walking through WalMart tonight because book reports are not going to go away just because my husband no longer has a job….walking passed the electronics department and seeing all these games that are sitting on the boys Christmas list. I stopped in mid-aisle and just stared….panic easing it’s way up from my stomach……and there’s the Holy Spirit patiently holding my hand and walking me passed. Don’t panic.
Our house has been unusually quiet tonight and it’s a little eerie. I sat in my chair after Mike left on an interview and fill out applications, in the quiet of the house, and just sat and read my Bible outloud. I don’t do that very often, mainly at night when I put Brooklyn to sleep. But for some reason, reading it outloud is calming to me. It’s almost like I’m reminding Satan that I know the source of my being, the source of all we have, and the source of my joy lies with God Almighty. And all these little distractions….or major life changing moments….isn’t going to deterr me from the One I worship.
I just kept reading. All through Lamentations, and 10 chapters into Ezekial….I just kept reading outloud. I don’t know, it was as if I had to get the strength to pray. Does that make sense? And then I prayed. And prayed and prayed.
And after I prayed, I had my sweet friend Hanna call me and SHE prayed! Pulled over off the road just to pray with me on the phone. Then after she prayed, I got another call from one of our former youth and SHE prayed with me over the phone. One of the things that I will always remember, is her praying not just for a job for Mike, but one that supplies all of our needs and blesses us more than we ever expected or hoped for! Now that’s a prayer! LOL I was just praying for a JOB! LOL Now I’m repeating HER prayer! LOL I want that….that’s good stuff.
I called a few faithful people I trust to truly pray from church, and now we just sit. And we wait.
Mike is not one to go without a job for long. He’s already applied places, got the unemployment in line, and took his prescriptions to the Indian hospital to be filled so we will have no worries about his health.
I still feel numb and if I set my mind to it, I could freak out at any second, but if I concentrate on what I truly believe in, what I have put all of my faith in, Jesus Christ, then the ringing in my ears stops and the tears no longer threaten to fall. Here is the part where I prove myself. God doesn’t have to prove Himself, He’s already done that. I have to be willing and able to step up and trust my Savior. It won’t be easy, I know, but it must be done.
So if I start to panic, hand me a paper bag….and my Bible….and I’ll be alright. And please pray with me.
Father God, above anything else, You are faithful. Above all of our fears and worries and concerns, You are faithful. I thank You for always providing for us in the past, and I thank You for all the times in the future You will continue to provide for us. Even when I’m scared, even when I panic and can’t breathe….even in those times, I love You and I trust You. And I’ll try to remember that. Lord, I thank You for the job You have lined up for Mike; a job that meets every need, whether we know the need or not, it will supply it. A job that is steady and good. Lord, I ask for favor for Mike with every person he meets. Put his resume or application in the right hands of the right position especially for Mike. And I’ll ask, a salary that more than meets our needs. Holy Spirit, keep me calm. Give me strength and peace. Bring to my mind scriptures to give me hope and keep me focused on You. Guard my ears. Guard my mind and thoughts. Guard my heart. Keep stupid out of my mouth, please. Lord, we love You and we praise You, in the good, and in the bad. And we trust You. In Jesus precious and mighty name. Amen.