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Letter of Intent

Oh this Letter of Intent……I’ll try really hard to be kind and polite.  Just know, it is the Jesus in me that keeps me from cursing.  (OK, I may have let ONE slip…..)

Dear Cynthia Maloy of Omni Medical Group of Owasso-

I was a brand new patient of yours on Monday.  I made the appointment on Thursday of the previous week specifically to check my hormones.  I assumed because I was a new patient, you would want to do a general physical, that seems to be common practice in my experience with other offices for a brand new patient.  So when I made this appointment, I made it for a physical, but, I specifically said I needed my hormones checked which would be done during the routine blood work.  It’s not like it’s added work for you, it’s as simple as writing down “HORMONES” on the lab request sheet.  So, I made this appointment for a physical, but to specifically check my hormones.  I said this exactly to the receptionist when I made the appointment.

Also, because I was to have a general physical anyway, I have this Foster Care physical form that needed to be filled out as well.  Very basic, simple form I’m bringing in.  As they take my height and weight for the physical, they just need to write it down.  Very very basic.  Don’t have to do anything extra for the form, just the basic stuff you will do for the physical anyway.  Blood pressure, vision, hearing….basic physical.  No jumping jacks, no push ups to count, no resting heart rate or heart rate after activity.  BASIC FORM.

However, when I get to your office, the nurse asks me what exactly I am here for.

{blank stare}

Ummm…general physical and to have my hormones checked.

Nurse:  No, I see here you have a physical form to be filled out.

Me:  Yes, It’s a very basic form, it’s easy to fill out while the dr does the physical.

Nurse:  Yes, but what are you here for?  The physical, have the form filled out, or to have your hormones checked?

Me:  Ummm….all of it.  I made the appointment for all of it.

Nurse:  I understand you made the appointment just for the physical form.  You can’t expect us to do all of this stuff while you are here and ONLY pay 1 co-pay!

Me:  No, I made the appointment for a general physical and to have my hormones checked specifically.  I also have to have you fill out the BASIC physical form as you do the physical so we can be foster parents.  I know there’s a problem with my hormones, so when you do the lab work, I need you to have them check my hormones.

Nurse:  That is *3* different office visits which requires *3* co-pays.  You can’t expect us to do all this work for only *1* co-pay.


Then, the tears start.  Oh good Lord…..I hate when I cry in front of mean people.

Nurse:  So what are you here for?  You have to decide which ONE of these you are here to do today.  Then you need to make 2 more appointments for the other things you want done.

I am shocked, and now in tears at this point.

You see, Dr Maloy, I haven’t seen a doctor in 4 years.  I don’t usually go to the dr because I’m pretty healthy.  I make sure my kids go, and my husband goes, but I don’t generally go to the dr.  My schedule is also very very difficult to work in appointments of any kind.

So, when I know something is wrong, as is the case now, I am intelligent enough to go to the dr to find out what the problem is.  I’m not saying “check my hormones” because I randomly like to have it done!  There is a problem, I am concerned about it, and I NEED to have it checked.   I am concerned enough that I arrange with 3 families schedules, and my husband’s work schedule just to get in to be seen.

For me, that is a big deal.

So, imagine my surprise when I had to CHOOSE what I had to be seen for!  I had to CHOOSE to be seen ONLY to have that physical form filled out so that we could follow God’s instruction in fostering children in need.

And….I may have said to your nurse:  “So, I’m PAYING you $35 to write down my height and weight.”

(I don’t claim to be nice all the time.)

And, then when your little Physician’s Assistant came in, she had to continue berating me for even the suggestion that they do “all this work for the same co-pay”.  Thanks.  I appreciate everyone in your “lovely” office.

My eye exam consisted of a flash light in the eye and nothing more.  No reading letters on a line.

My hearing exam consisted of your PA whispering in front of me:  “Can you hear me?”

And I paid $35 of my grocery money for THIS.  Thanks, I appreciate it.

For my general appearance, they wrote, and I QUOTE:  “well nourished”.  I guess that’s the politically correct of saying fat @$$.  Again.  Thank you, that was appreciated.  Because I don’t already feel completely inadequate in my skin.  It really wasn’t necessary for her to write that AT.ALL.   Good appearance would have been enough.  Way to make me feel good coming to YOUR office.

However, I was surprised when the PA happened to ask me why I thought my hormones were off balanced.  I may have shared my surprise by answering her with “Is this going to cost me another $35 to answer you?”

You are probably right, I may have been slightly out of line.  I’ll try to do better the next time I am berated at your doctor’s office.  I sincerely apologize I may have made her feel uncomfortable.

I do appreciate you coming into the exam room to introduce yourself though.  Breezing in and telling me your name while you are signing my physical form was nice.  Great bedside manner!  But pausing long enough in the doorway to again explain to me that it was unfair for me to expect so much on one visit.  “The insurance won’t pay for anything else when you have a physical form to fill out.”

WOW.  Really?  My form was that hard to fill out that?  I didn’t even GET the real exam, they wrote down my height and weight, my blood pressure, my “eye exam”, my “hearing exam”, and then made sure I knew I was fat.

And I PAID $35 for this.

I didn’t come in with a list of random illnesses or complaints.  All 3 of them were simple to do on ONE visit.  I didn’t ask you to see my sick child, vomiting dog, or my ingrown toe nail.  I needed a general physical, and WHILE you are having blood work done ANYWAY, write down LAB REQUEST FORM:  hormone level.  Yes, I had my “difficult” physical form to have filled out.

And I fully understood I would have to have a follow up visit to discuss the results of my hormones.

Dr Maloy, thank you for this eye-opening encounter at your medical facility.   I now know how to treat others effectively.  I thought my Momma had raised me right with the whole “Be nice” thing….but your office has corrected 37 years of wrong upbringing!  I’ll have to apologize to GOD as well because I truly thought when He said to think of others above yourself, I thought I was supposed to LIVE that way!

But, from now on, I know it’s ALL about the money.  No more free photo sessions for terminally ill children.  No more free photo sessions for premature babies in the hospital.  No more free photo sessions for families in need or all the free photo work I do for the church on a WEEKLY basis.  From now on, EVERYONE pays!  It’s all about the MONEY.  But, be warned, my prices only cover NON-SMILING people.  If someone smiles, that’s an extra charge.  If you move in any way, that’s a separate fee.  And the fee only covers the basic ONE photo, photo shop is extra.

Thank you, Dr Maloy, I believe I will be JUST LIKE YOU NOW, and be rolling in the money!  Thank you for Omni Medical Group of Owasso’s time.


Dana—the well nourished.

P.S.  You suck.  I hope nothing is seriously wrong with me, but know, I will NOT be going to Omni Medical group of Owasso to find out.