Our case worker with Cherokee Nations sent me a copy of our Home Study to go over and review it and after we approve it and sign it…..I think we’re done!  As in…..we’ll be certified with Cherokee Nations as foster parents!  EEK!

OK, on ONE hand:  this is EXACTLY what we’ve been waiting for!  YAY!!!  Seeing God’s plan for our family actually start to HAPPEN…..WOW…..that’s just exciting!

But, on the OTHER hand:  OMGosh….what if we screw up these kids?  HAHAHAHA!  Alright, I may be exaggerating, but I’ve seen it happen more times than I would like.  😦  But, again, let me say, that’s the difference in doing this with God’s direction and God’s strength and God’s power….and doing it for the money.  We don’t need the money.  We don’t desire the money.  And we actually will not be using the money at all.  It all goes into savings to help fund whatever else God has planned for us.  True story.

Which brings me back to ME.  I am a Planner.  I am a List Maker.  I am a Nest-builder.  I like to be prepared for any and all scenarios!  I like to be ready for the “just-in-case”.  And most of all, I like to be self-reliant.  I like to do it myself.

EEEEEEEK!  OK, NONE of that can happen when fostering!  We have NO idea the age of the little girl who is coming to stay with us.  And because we are fostering and not just foster-adopting or just adopting (like most people do), we have no idea how long they will stay.

Let me break it down for you a little simpler so you’ll understand what I mean:

Fostering:  these children more than likely will go back home.  They will be here any length of time; there really isn’t any way for us to gauge a time they will be here.  It just depends on how long it takes for the parents to go through court appointed requirements.  Here’s the kicker with fostering:  NO ONE WANTS TO DO THIS.  These are the kids that stay for long periods of time, you get attached to them, the family gets attached to them, and then they go home.  Everyone gets a nice big fat broken heart out of this deal.  That’s why no one wants to do this.  But, also why we feel led to do this:  no one else wants these kids.  We feel like they have to have a good, safe, loving home (complete with crazy family they will laugh with) to go to, and fancy that, WE can give that to them.  They will learn about Christ and be loved and adored while they are here.  And, my prayer, God will heal our hearts after they are gone.  I just have to trust that God will do that for us.  Especially me because I get attached.

Foster-Adopt:  these kids are ones that more than likely will be able to be adopted.  It isn’t for sure.  But, nothing is for sure in a foster situation.   This is a bigger chance of being able to adopt a baby, but there is still a lot of risk.  Most people who go this route in the United States do this to adopt.  I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but this is the way of the world.  Mike and I have also put in for this too, as well as straight out fostering.  Our desire is not for a baby….we just know somewhere in the midst of it, it will happen.  God has someone for us.

Adopt:  this takes MUCH longer to get your baby.  These children have already had rights terminated, they’ve already been in the foster care system, and the parents have failed to do their court appointed requirements.

So, herein lies my problem, I have no way of planning anything.  I have no idea of an age that will come.  Obviously, babies and children have totally different needs!  And I have VERY little storage space!  If I have a baby for 6 months that needs a crib, where am I going to store that when I’m finished with it?  LOL  Carseats, dresser, twin bed…..and we could possibly be doing *2* at the same time, which means DOUBLE everything!  LOL  I can’t go out and purchase it ALL not knowing who is coming or how old they are!  And will it be a lean week they come or a good week when they come?

This is where I am having to come to terms with……I cannot be self-reliant and reliant on God at the same time.  Scary huh?  So, just as the girls that come into our home will be learning manners and rules and consequences and how a healthy family works and operates…and about Christ….

…..I will be learning about Christ as well.  And how to trust Him to meet their needs….as well as mine.

The death-grip on my control issues I have may be slipping.

I think I’m letting the reins slip from my hands….

Pretty cool.

Always be kind!