I should totally be in bed right now.  I have to get up SO early in the morning….

But I’m sitting here thinking and praying and trying to do some sort of planning for a baby….or a child….or a toddler…or a preschooler….and I have no idea what I’m doing.  We got the letter this week announcing we are officially foster parents and I’m elated, and scared all at the same time.  Parenting has such highs and lows all the time, and it’s hard to know if you’re doing a good job or not.  Do I work too much?  Do we make enough money?  Will we be able to handle everything?

And yet, I know what God has said.  I know where He has lead us, even when I never thought it would happen.

The phone rings and I jump.  I get butterflies in my stomach until I see who it is on the caller id.  My Mom swears it is normal, and she laughed remembering her foster care days.

Can I tell you something totally crazy?  I see little black baby girls…or mixed little girls, and I tear up.  I want one.  OK, truth be told I do it with Chinese baby girls too.

Yes, I’m crazy.  I’m coming to terms with it.

All this sappiness….I should go to bed.  Finish my prayers as I drift off to sleep…..and try not to stress over all the what ifs.  He called us to do this.

And He will make all things work together for His glory.