Fostering isn’t always easy! It is ALWAYS a blessing though, if you choose to follow God’s will!
I’ve heard all of the horror stories from “well-meaning” foster parents on the woes of doing this job, and yes, I believe some are well founded, we are dealing with broken children. However, some, I just suspect may have been doing this job for the wrong reasons. And when you do this for the wrong reasons, you will fail.
But, it isn’t always going to be rainbows and unicorns. Most of the foster parents I know that has helped me, did this with infants. I have a child, so it’s very different. I have an entirely new can of worms here. I do have an infant….and a toddler….and a child, all at the same time.
But children come with different issues. “B” knows she has lost everything. She knows the bitter feelings of what she had, and losing it. And she has that God-given bond with her mother. It’s normal and natural, and how God designed it. And she knows the loss of her. That’s rough. That’s hard for a 4 year old child to come to terms with. This is not how God designed it, so it’s unnatural and not normal and she has to try to make sense of it somehow in her 4 year old mind.
So some days are rough. Some days we have a lot of reverting back to infant behavior: lots of baby talk, lots of baby behavior, and yes, even baby actions. Some days we have a lot of tears or a lot of fighting or a lot of just plain grumpiness. And because she has never had anyone to love her enough to discipline her, when she is corrected, it results in fit throwing or uncontrollable sobbing. 😦
The newness of everything is wearing off and she’s realizing she isn’t going back. This isn’t a fun vacation but a new normal. Some days she loves it….and some days she doesn’t. It’s a lot of new experiences for her and it’s a lot of retraining. So some days she loves me….and some days she doesn’t.
And that’s alright.
I’m praying for God to bring that bonding to us. She has that natural bond with her natural birth mom, but eventually, I’d love it if she bonded with me as well.
And I’m patient, I’ll wait. And in the meantime, I’ll use trickery and bribery in the form of cooking together (she LOVES to cook and she’d never done it before!) and painting fingers and toes, and little shopping trips for new boots on sale. I’ll just use my evil charm to tickle her into submission at night when I tuck her in. Or fun snuggles when we read her Bible together. 😉 It’ll come. In time.
I’ll just wait. And pray.
And I know it’s not always rainbows and unicorns, no matter how much I wish it was. But, it’ll be alright. The Holy Spirit gives us wisdom and direction every time we need it. And lots and lots of patience.