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foster care, foster child, foster children, foster ministry, foster parent, fostering, fostering siblings
“Hey, I’m headed to Sam’s today….”
I know, to most people, those words are nothing at all special. But, let me share with you why those words brought such tears to my eyes….
Remember my pity party honest post a few weeks ago? The one where I shared I feel alone most days? Like I’m living on an island separated from the “real” world? I know, I know, it was depressing….probably all too-real, and a terrible lapse in judgement more than likely. But, I am a real person, and I write real stuff. That is a real moment I feel all-too-often.
Well, I had a very sweet friend call me last week and she started the conversation with:
“Hey, I’m headed to Sam’s today….”
Why would that make me cry?
It was a reminder that I wasn’t alone. It was someone reaching out, knowing how hard mission work can be (even if it is fostering in the United States, she understands), and offering some help.
Something so small…..such a simple question: “What do you need?”
Usually, offers of help come in empty promises of “Let me know if there is anything we can do to help….” I know this, because I’ve made them myself on occasion. I don’t actually EXPECT them to ask me for anything. And offers of help like this put the Asker-of-the-Help in the position of having to make the first move. It means humbling myself to a level where I have to admit, I need help. I’ve never thought of it like that before….until we had 3 foster children.
Now? I’d rather bite my own tongue off before admitting I could use some help sometimes.
Some weeks are “lean”. Some weeks everything piles on top of everything…..
Baby needs diapers….Out of formula….Tire blows…..Someone (or two) outgrows their shoes (again)….Birthday…..another Birthday…..”Mom, I need blah blah blah”…..”Mrs Suggs, it’s your week to provide…” Camp comes which means no work, no vacation pay for a week….plumbing issue (again)
Life happens.
And Life with 6 children happens…..a LOT.
So, instead of offering empty promises of “just let me know….”, Miss Jan gave a destination where she was going, and even offered ideas “cheese, spinach (a personal favorite), tortillas, etc”.
What do you need?
I’ve posted before, different ways that EVERYONE can help the orphan. Here are some suggestions for ways to reach out and help the foster families (or ANY family that may need it):
“I have a free night this weekend…..why don’t you 2 go out by yourselves?”
“I’m picking up a pizza for my family, let me add a couple more. Any allergies?”
“I have some free time….can I swing by and fold laundry?” (hahahaha a personal favorite)
“My son/daughter’s outgrown some things, when’s a good time to bring some clothes over?”
“Can you meet me at the gas station? I’d like to put some gas in.”
“Can your family come by after church Sunday? We’d like to have lunch with you.”
“Hey, I’m headed to Sam’s, can I pick you up something?”
Now, let me show you what her generosity did for my family:
It made AWESOME chicken, fresh spinach, cheese quesadillas! The kids LOVED them!
So, from now on, no more will empty promises leave my lips. From now on, “What do you need?” will replace it….
Along with the help.
Thank you, Miss Jan….amazing Sunday School teacher to my daughters. They adore you! Not only do you TEACH them about Jesus, but you SHOW them about Jesus! I’m so honored to call you friend.
From chaos to Grace... 
She sounds like an amazing lady… 🙂
Wow, it is funny how a few words can be so inspiring!
I so enjoy your post! They are so inspiring!
That is so true. Those words “let me know how I can help” usually are meant to be a feel good thing but not so much an actual help. I love how she told you what she was doing and just said I’m helping. I do both of these gestures. I know bad me. One time I’ll be all on board and the leader in organizing the help and the next time I’m worn out and just want someone to say they don’t need it or give me an amount of money and if I can afford I just do that. You know my life, 4 kids, work 60 hours, help kids, do school work, help kids, say hello to hubby, and then do it all over again. Many late nights and all. But I always regret the empty let me know what I can do to help offers that I make from time to time.
I am so happy that she was there for you and I will also make it my goal to always give direction when I offer help.
Hi Dana,
I just found and followed your blog through Kathy Howard’s posts on Fifty Shades of Grey and judgement. A few things. First, I *love* the title of your blog! Second, I am new to DSLR photography (not photography in general) so I’m interested in that part of your blog. Third, I’ve been doing much research on friendship lately and you may be interested in some posts on my blog. Now I’m not someone who posts on other blogs to try to get you to read mine and never comes back again! I’m truly grateful to have found you and I will be back! It will be a pleasure to pray for you to find the kind of kindred spirit friendships you deserve. I don’t think you’re being dumb in wishing for that at all! God will provide. 🙂 This post proves he is already working!