God’s great task is to adjust His people to Himself.  (Meaning me,  He’s adjusting me.)   It takes time for Him to shape us to be exactly what He wants us to be.  Suppose you sense God is going to do something great because of what He has said to you in His Word in prayer.  You sense He is going to do it because of the way circumstances are working out and other believers (the church) agree.  Then six months pass, and you still haven’t seen anything significant happening.  Don’t become negative, depressed, or discouraged.  Watch to see what God is doing in you and in the people around you to prepare you for what He is going to do.  The key is your relationship with God.  The God who initiates His work in a relationship with you is the One who guarantees to complete it.

God is preparing ME.  God is molding ME into the person He can use.   He is growing and stretching me into an obedient servant. 

And I am willing. 

That has not always been the case.  😉   I don’t get outside my comfort zone.  I don’t do things purposefully to make myself uncomfortable.  I just don’t.  Some things are just difficult for me to do.

So when I felt God was calling me to go to Mexico with our college class at church, I jumped at the chance! 

I’m reading the Word everyday.  I’m in heavy prayer everyday.  I’m being obedient to Him….

He wanted me to get a passport, He provided the means to do it.  I have a passport.   I was obedient.

And then things seemed to fall apart.  It started off in small ways, but enough that it grabbed my attention.   My fundraiser to provide some funds for the trip, I thought was such a smashing idea, fell through in several ways and I was totally disheartened and felt let down.  

Lord, if You want me to go, what in the world is going on?

And then it was brought to my attention that I was trying to help God.  Did God tell me to do this fundraiser?  Uhhhh….no.  That was all my idea.  It was something I could do.   I have this “workers” mentality that I have to do it.  If it needs done, I have to do it.   If I am able to accomplish something to make the road easier/stronger/provided for, I have to do it.   In effect, I was trying to help God.   I was trying to show God my willingness to do something and to help, and that’s not what He told me to do.  

I was trying to put my little scribble on it.

The Mexico trip was not for ME to show or prove what I could do, but for God to move and work in the situation.

So, am I not going because of my disobedience or my meddling? Who knows. LOL Am I being punished? I don’t think so. I was still obedient to His call and He knows that.

He called. I answered with zeal.

However, circumstances have closed the Mexico trip for me. At least for now. God is fully aware of my job and the needs of my family. I do not believe He would go against either of those and jeopardize those without opening other doors.

I’ll be saving what money I received towards THIS trip, for the next one…..because I do know there will be a next one.

Am I sad? Maybe a little, but I have a peace about it. God is set on maturing me and I am willing to let Him do it. I know this was part of some lesson for me in trusting God. And every morning, I’m still reading my Bible (let me just say, 1 Kings and 2 Kings are awesome! LOL) and I’m still praying. For now, I am going back to God to clarify what He said, and what may have been MY additions to what He said.

And I am waiting on the Lord to show me what to do next….

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